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Cyril Reads Pac-Man (Ch. 1 & 2)
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This Week in Defunct Games - March 15, 2013
2D Game Hero or Hip Hop Artist?
The Mask Rider's Most Awkward Moments
Review: Tomb Raider
Review: The King of Fighters '98: The Slugfest (Virtual Console)
Review: Wrecking Crew (Virtual Console)
This Week in Defunct Games - March 8, 2013
Behind the COBRA COMMAND Curtains
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Resident Evil's Most Ridiculous Moments
Review: Corpse Killer
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Review: Revolution X
Shoot-Em-Up or Heavy Metal Band?
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Jeremy McGrath's Offroad
Reviews au Courant
June 29, 2012
With unspectacular graphics and only six courses, Jeremy McGrath's Offroad is hard to recommend. Ultimately the solid gameplay can't overcome a short campaign mode and uninspired events. Worse yet, this is one of the easiest racing games ever developed. Jeremy McGrath's Offroad is a low-energy take on one of the most world's exciting sports!
Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master
Review - Genesis
June 29, 2012
This is the apex of Shinobi, one of Sega's very best Genesis games. As it turns out, this would be Joe's final adventure. This long-running franchise may have had a few ups and downs over the years, but Shinobi III is a rock. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Shinobi III: Return of the Ninja Master for the Sega Genesis!
The Walking Dead - Ep. 2: Starved for Help
Reviews au Courant
June 28, 2012
Not only is Starved for Death a great episode, but it also shows that The Walking Dead has more to show us than just zombie fighting. There's a story here that is unlike anything I've seen in a zombie game, which is really saying something given how many zombie games there are. It's not for everybody, but fans of the pilot will this atmospheric second episode up!
Joe & Mac: Caveman Ninja
Review - Genesis
June 28, 2012
In the past 30 years of gaming, players have taken control of space ninjas, animal ninjas, undead ninjas and even alien ninjas. With so many silly variations, I don't know why I'm having a hard time getting my mind around Joe & Mac: Caveman Ninjas. Find out if Cyril has more luck when you read his full review of Joe & Mac: Caveman Ninjas for the Sega Genesis!
Ninja Gaiden Shadow
Review - Game Boy
June 27, 2012
50% Ninja Gaiden, 50% Shadow of the Ninja and 100% action. Ninja Gaiden Shadow slashes its way onto the portable scene with this exciting (albeit confusing) action game. Matthew Clarke gets to the bottom of this odd title with a full review of Ninja Gaiden Shadow for the Nintendo Game Boy!
Zool: Ninja of the "Nth" Dimension
Review - Genesis
June 26, 2012
There are a few interesting ideas sprinkled throughout Zool, but this ninja comes up short in almost every way possible. What we're left with is a frustrating action game with a character I didn't care about. The themed levels are interesting, but it would have been nice to have some sort of narrative tie all this together. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Zool: Ninja of the "Nth" Dimension on the Sega Genesis!
Is Dan Howdle Against Game Preservation?
On Running Feuds
June 26, 2012
On Running Feuds (Ep. 186) - Did you know that there are people who are actually against game preservation? And not just anybody, but somebody who is the editor for a major video game magazine. It's true, and Defunct Games has the full story in this contentious On Running Feud. Is Dan Howdle Against Game Preservation? It definitely looks that way!
Shadow Dancer: The Secret of Shinobi
Review - Master System
June 25, 2012
Every good ninja needs a loyal dog, or so Shadow Dancer suggests. This Sega Master System port promises HUGE characters and non-stop action, but doesn't quite deliver. Find out what Defunct Games' newest critic, Matthew Clarke, thinks when you read his full review of Shadow Dancer for the Sega Master System!
Wrath of the Ninja Week
Recapped
June 25, 2012
Psst. There's a ninja behind you! Of course you didn't hear him sneak in, because he's a ninja. He's a silent killer, and you're his next victim. SO TURN AROUND! Oh, phew, there wasn't actually a ninja there. Instead it was just a list of the ninja games we'll be reviewing this week. That's right; this week we're picking up the throwing stars. So ignore the silent killer that is probably hiding behind your couch right now and read Wrath of the Ninja Week!
This Week in Defunct Games - June 22, 2012
This Week in Defunct Games
June 22, 2012
If it's Friday, it's This Week in Defunct Games! Up first we're looking at Double Dragon II: The Revenge (NES), the rough and tough sequel to one of the most influential beat-em-ups of all time. If gang violence isn't your thing, then maybe pig killing is. This week MonkeyPaw Games is bringing you Tomba! for the PlayStation. This PSone Classic is one of the best platformers of all time. Find out now when you read another exciting episode of This Week in Defunct Games!
Double Dragon II: The Revenge (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 22, 2012
Double Dragon II is more than a sequel; it's a genuinely good action game with a solid storyline and a lot of fun street fighting. The controls take a little getting used to, but after a while you can see what the developers were trying to do. My only real complaint is the ludicrous ending, which inexplicably introduces supernatural elements into the franchise. If you can get past that you'll find yet another fun beat-em-up on the Virtual Console.
Tomba! (PSone Classics)
Reviews au Courant
June 22, 2012
This PSone Classic introduces enough new elements to the genre to make Tomba feel like its own game. There are a few elements that went on to influence other Sony platformers, including LittleBigPlanet. Tomba is more of a workout than your typical platformer, but at the end you're rewarded with one of the PlayStation's best 2D action games. Tomba is definitely worth downloading.
Inversion
Reviews au Courant
June 22, 2012
Inversion is yet another derivative third-person shooter with a gimmick. This time around you control gravity in the most limited way possible. Although there are plenty of strong moments, the game is ultimately brought back down to earth with the never ending cinemas, repeating bosses, ugly graphics and frustrating level designs!
Revenge of the 'Gator
Review - Game Boy
June 22, 2012
Revenge of the 'Gator is HAL Laboratory at its best, offering charming characters and exciting action. The gameplay is strong and the game moves faster than most 8-bit pinball games. But you don't have to take my word for it; find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Revenge of the 'Gator for the Nintendo Game Boy!
Pinball Quest
Review - NES
June 21, 2012
Pinball Quest doesn't quite work; it's full of design issues and physics problems. But even at its worse, there's something endearing about Pinball Quest. This is a game that really tries to be unique, and on that level it succeeds. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Pinball Quest for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Cyril Reads Metal Gear (Ch. 13)
Cyril Reads
June 20, 2012
After infiltrating Outer Heaven, saving the captured Snake Men, escaping incarceration and surviving the moving bridge, Solid Snake has finally discovered the truth. He wasn't supposed to have this kind of success; Justin Halley was nothing more than the diversion. Will this sudden revelation change our hero's resolve to find and destroy the Metal Gear? Find out now as we dig into another exciting chapter of Cyril Reads Metal Gear!
Dragon's Revenge
Review - Genesis
June 20, 2012
Dragon's Revenge doesn't quite hit the same highs as Devil's Crush and Jaki Crush, but it does offer enough thrills to make it worth seeking out. There aren't many games like this, even in a day and age when there are multiple competing pinball games on current systems. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Dragon's Revenge for the Sega Genesis!
This Half-Year in Defunct Games: 2012 Report Card!
Bonus Levels
June 19, 2012
2012 hasn't been kind to everybody. For whatever reason, this year has been especially mean to the old school video game download services. I'm talking about the Virtual Consoles and PSone Classics. Sadly, most of these online storefronts have seen a drop in both releases and quality. Worrying this was a trend, we've decided to go by the numbers and see if the first half of the year spells doom for the second half. That's right, 2012, it's time to put you to the test and determine your mid-year report card. Let's find out how you stack up to last year when you read This Half-Year in Defunct Games: 2012 Report Card!
Pinball
Review - NES
June 19, 2012
Pinball may not be an impressive game by today's standards, but you can see what Nintendo was trying to accomplish with this 8-bit title. Is the game so dated that it's impossible to have fun? Not at all, which is what Cyril discovered when he reviewed Pinball for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Armored Core V
Reviews au Courant
June 18, 2012
Armored Core V is big, explosive and full of good ideas. Too bad the game is nearly incomprehensible. Thankfully the game's strong online component and roughly one hundred levels make up for some of the learning curve problems, but don't go into this game looking for an easy ride!
Crue Ball: Heavy Metal Pinball
Review - Genesis
June 18, 2012
Crue Ball was originally called Twisted Flipper. EA wanted to partner with MTV's Headbanger's Ball. Unfortunately that's not what happened and we're left with Crue Ball, the one and only Motley Crue video game. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Crue Ball: Heavy Metal Pinball for the Sega Genesis!
The Week of Too Much Pinball
Recapped
June 17, 2012
This weekend I'm putting in a fair amount of time playing Zen Studio's upcoming Pinball FX2 expansion pack, Marvel Pinball: Avengers Chronicles. As a result, I've been bitten with the pinball bug, which means that we're about to spend the full week looking at old 8- and 16-bit pinball games. We have a strong group of games, all aspiring to be more than just your typical video pinball experience. Do you have what it takes to survive the multi-ball and go for the high score? Find out now when we look at a week of too much pinball!
M.U.L.E.
Review - NES
June 15, 2012
M.U.L.E. is a little rough, even for an old school NES game. The graphics aren't much to look at and the game does a horrible job of letting you know what's going on. However, if you can get past the insane learning curve and can convince a few friends to take part, M.U.L.E. quickly becomes a masterpiece. Find out why when you read Cyril's full review of M.U.L.E. on the Nintendo Entertainment System!
This Week in Defunct Games - June 15, 2012
This Week in Defunct Games
June 15, 2012
If it's Friday, it's This Week in Defunct Games. This week Nintendo brings us two more action games, both for their home consoles. Up first it's Mega Man X2 (Super NES) on the Wii Virtual Console. We follow that up with Donkey Kong Jr. (NES) on the Nintendo 3DS Virtual Console. One of these games is worth buying; the other is the biggest rip-off we've seen all year. Which is which? Find out now!
Mega Man X2 (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 15, 2012
Are you one of the many who is sick and tired of Mega Man sequels? If so, prepare to eat your words, because Mega Man X2 is one of the best Virtual Console games released this year. It's full of fresh new ideas, as well as a few overhauled mechanics from the 8-bit games. Best of all, you can throw Ryu's fireball for some inexplicable reason!
Donkey Kong Jr. (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 15, 2012
Donkey Kong Jr. is a genuine classic that deserves to be played, no matter who you are. But even with that high praise, this 3DS Virtual Console release is a giant rip-off. Priced higher than pretty much every must-own Virtual Console game, Donkey Kong Jr. lacks substance. The two game modes are nearly identical and the repeating levels get old too quickly. A great game marred by a horrible price point!
Klax
Review - Genesis
June 14, 2012
Klax is a great puzzle game that could have been a whole lot more. It's an addictive puzzler with an interesting visual style. Best of all, it kind of looks like Rock Band ... and I LOVE Rock Band! Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Klax for the Sega Genesis!
Lifetime Remakes Your Favorite Games
Guerilla Scrapbook
June 14, 2012
There is nothing worse than a Lifetime original movie. Between demonizing men and stereotyping women, these low-budget movies end up helping nobody. Recently Lifetime opened up their archives for the first time ever, unearthing a collection of rarely seen movies based on popular video games. Being the most trusted name in video game journalism, I decided that I needed to see this first hand and report back on my findings. Here are my thoughts on five of Lifetime's most outrageous offenders.
The Man Who Dared Question Metal Gear
They Said WHAT?!?
June 13, 2012
Solid Snake junkies the world over have every reason to be excited, and not just because we're half way through Cyril Reads Metal Gear. As it turns out, Konami chose this week to launch Metal Gear Solid HD Collection for the PS Vita! But not everybody is excited about Snake's return to Vita. Howard Sheldon has a few complaints. Join us as we debunk each and every one of them in this new episode of They Said WHAT?!?
Hook
Review - Sega CD
June 13, 2012
Hook isn't a bad action game, but it's also not very original. Unfortunately it's the disappointing source material that ultimately brings this Sony ImageSoft game down. But you don't have to take my word for it, because we brought in Cyril to give his full review of Hook for the Sega CD!
NARC
Review - NES
June 12, 2012
Forget about maturely tackling this country's complicated drug laws, Midway decided to turn NARC into an ultra-violent action game full of blood and guts. Was this the right move? Find out when Cyril offers his full review of NARC for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
The Happy Console Gamer Gets to the Point
DGC On Demand
June 12, 2012
DGC On Demand (Ep. 23) - Last week fans of the Alien franchise took to their local movie theaters to make Prometheus the number one movie in the country. It was such a big hit that even video game critics have decided to weigh in. At least, that's what the Happy Console Gamer decided to do. To honor the occasion, Defunct Games has opted to play a little game. How long will it take the Happy Console Gamer to get to the point? Find out now when you read The Happy Console Gamer Gets to the Point!
Zoop
Review - Genesis
June 11, 2012
Zoop feels like a cynical attempt to cash in on the sudden success of Tetris, Columns and Dr. Mario. Unfortunately, most of those puzzlers had peaked years earlier, leaving Zoop to compete in a world full of fighting games and first-person shooters. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Zoop for the Sega Genesis!
Defunct Games vs. E3 2012 Game Revivals
Defunct Games Vs.
June 11, 2012
Defunct Games Vs. (Ep. 15) - Between the 15 minute long demonstration of Wonderbooks and Microsoft unveiling SmartGlass, there wasn't a whole lot at E3 2012 that caught my eye. Just as I was about to lose all hope, I remembered that this is the year of the Pikmin. And that X-COM sequel I've been dreaming of? It turns out that's coming, too. In fact, everybody from Sega to Nintendo to Disney have video game revivals planned for the next few months. Read our full take on E3 2012's biggest video game revivals!
A Week Full of Four Letter Words
Recapped
June 10, 2012
Last week we hid in terror as aliens attacked from all sides. Thankfully that won't be the case when we look at A Week Full of Four Letter Words! These are five of the most diverse games you'll ever see (featuring everything from robots to drug dealer to men in tights), each connected by one simple naming convention: Four letter titles! Who needs lengthy subtitles when four simple letters will do the trick?
This Week in Defunct Games - June 8, 2012
This Week in Defunct Games
June 08, 2012
If it's Friday, then it's This Week in Defunct Games! It's a week full of swordplay! Up first we look at The Last Blade, one of SNK's very best fighting games. If that's not enough, we're also digging into Prince of Persia on the Game Boy Color. Both of these games are classics, but only one is recommended. Find out what you should buy this week when you tune into another exciting episode of This Week in Defunct Games!
The Last Blade (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 08, 2012
After fizzling out towards the end of 2011, the Wii Virtual Console has managed to bounce back with a string of good games. The Last Blade gives me hope that SNK isn't done supporting the Virtual Console, because there are still plenty of must-own Neo Geo games that have yet to be ported to any platform (I'm looking at you, WindJammers). Now bring on The Last Blade II with full online support!
Prince of Persia (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 08, 2012
This Game Boy Color version is solid, even if it is a little hard to play today. The animation holds up and the maze-like stages are fun to revisit. The controls are going to throw a lot of gamers off, so know what you're getting before you spend the money. Still, you're better off checking out Prince of Persia Classic, a remake featured on XBLA and PSN!
Alien Soldier
Review - Genesis
June 08, 2012
Treasure returns with the ultimate action game. Alien Soldier stacks you against 25 of the ugliest bosses in the galaxy. And did I mention that you blow up a planet at one point? Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Alien Soldier for the Sega Mega Drive (but, in this case, played on a Genesis)!
A Fake Alien Game for a Fake Alien Movie
Freeze Frame
June 07, 2012
The celebrate the launch of Prometheus, Defunct Games is taking a look at fake Alien games that used real Alien imagery. It turns out that a lot of games have "borrowed" the H.R. Giger's alien design. From Contra to Alien Syndrome and Space Invaders to R-Type, everybody is guilty of ripping off some of the one of the most memorable monsters in movie history. See the full list when you read Fake Alien Games for a Fake Alien Movie!
Alien
Review - SuperVision
June 07, 2012
No chest bursting, face hugging or acid blood. This is not that kind of Alien game. Instead we are given a generic 2D shooter, complete with uninspired power-ups, minimal levels and sluggish controls. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Alien for the SuperVision!
Alien Olympics 2044 AD
Review - Game Boy
June 06, 2012
We continue our trek through space with yet another non-ALIEN game. Today it's Alien Olympics 2044 AD for the Game Boy. This Track & Field clone has all the right moves, but can it really win gold? Find out now what you read Cyril's review of Alien Olympics 2044 AD for the Game Boy!
Capcom Packs E3 Press Kit with On-Disc DLC
Guerilla Scrapbook
June 06, 2012
Guerilla Scrapbook (Ep. 57) - On-disc DLC, online passes and DRM? What the hell is going on with this year's E3 press kits? Defunct Games investigates the growing trend of major game companies adding intrusive cash grabs to their E3 press kits. See why Capcom, Activision and Sony are all guilty of this heinous problem in this hard hitting E3 2012 expose!
Alien Syndrome
Review - NES
June 05, 2012
Tengen offers a competent, if unspectacular, port of an arcade hit. Alien Syndrome may not look like much, but the simple gameplay and fun shooting mechanic makes this easy to recommend. Plus it has two -player support. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Alien Syndrome for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
The Good Old Days of Press Packets
A Brief History of Gaming
June 05, 2012
With E3 officially starting today, we thought it would be fun to look back and some of the best press packets from E3 and the Consumer Electronics Show over the years. From Sega's rock-infused box to Nintendo's habit of giving away bags, we're looking at some silly moments over the last twenty years. Best of all, we have video evidence to prove it! See if you can guess my favorite as we reminisce about the good old days of press packets.
Hey Sony, What Happened to the PS Vita?
On Running Feuds
June 05, 2012
Despite featuring exciting first-looks to some of their biggest titles, there was something missing from Sony's E3 2012 press conference. Instead of propping up the PS Vita, Sony opted to spend most of their time talking about already-announced games and something called Wonderbook. The terrible showing leads to one important question: Hey Sony, What Happened to the PS Vita?
Fighting the E3 2012 Mysteries
Fight the Future
June 04, 2012
Will Nintendo announce launch games for the Wii Up? Will Sony be able to convince gamers to buy a PS Vita? Will Halo 4 work without Bungie? I have so many E3-related questions to ask and can't wait two or three days for the official answers. That's why I asked my three trusted experts for help. Find out what the Psychic Zorba, Donald Trump and a big box of fortune cookies think of the E3 2012 mysteries!
Alien Storm
Review - Genesis
June 04, 2012
There's nothing worse than an alien storm, unless you're playing the Genesis game of the same name! Alien Storm is more than just a sci-fi tinged Golden Axe rip-off; it's a genuinely fun two-player brawler with a surprising amount of variety. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Alien Storm for the Sega Genesis!
Fifty Shades of E3 2012
Bonus Levels
June 04, 2012
It's that time of the year again; time to drop everything and make a trek to southern California for the annual Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3). This is something of an off-year, with no system announcements expected and only a few unanswered questions left dangling. But that shouldn't stop the ESA from putting on one hell of a show. This archive will help you follow Defunct Games' unique E3 articles, including history lessons and comedy pieces. Check back often to see what kinky things we're talking about in the 50 Shades of E3 2012 ... that is, if you're not already tied up!
A Week of Non-ALIEN Games
Recapped
June 03, 2012
We're back with another themed week! For the next five days we will be looking at five different ALIEN-themed video games. But don't get too excited, Ripley, because none of these games have anything to do with the Alien series of movies. That's right; these are NON Alien movies ... just like Ridley Scott's upcoming Prometheus. Don't expect any chest-bursting in these games, because these are good old-fashioned alien invasions without acid blood and creepy eggs
A Week of Non-ALIEN Games
Weekend Update
June 03, 2012
We're back with another themed week! For the next five days we will be looking at five different ALIEN-themed video games. But don't get too excited, Ripley, because none of these games have anything to do with the Alien series of movies. That's right; these are NON Alien movies ... just like Ridley Scott's upcoming Prometheus. Don't expect any chest-bursting in these games, because these are good old-fashioned alien invasions without acid blood and creepy eggs
This Week in Defunct Games - June 1, 2012
This Week in Defunct Games
June 01, 2012
If it's Friday, it's This Week in Defunct Games! This week we have two titans of 2D gaming squaring off. In the Wii corner it's Metal Slug 3, SNK's action-packed Neo Geo game. But don't get too excited just yet, because in the 3DS corner it's Rayman (Game Boy Color)! Which of these games is worth buying this week? Find out now when we dig into another episode of This Week in Defunct Games!
RoboCop vs. The Terminator
Review - Genesis
June 01, 2012
We end our week-long look at RoboCop and The Terminator with ... RoboCop vs. The Terminator. Can Robo fight off OCP and take down Skynet all at the same time? It seems unlikely, but I bet he'll overcome all odds at the end of the day. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of RoboCop vs. The Terminator for the Sega Genesis!
Metal Slug 3 (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 01, 2012
I'm conflicted: On one hand Metal Slug 3 is the best in the series. However, it's also exactly the same as the three Metal Slugs that preceded it. Fans of the series are still getting a great game, but it's hard not to be disappointed with the lack of innovation found in the Metal Slug franchise!
Rayman (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
June 01, 2012
It may not look or sound as good as the console versions, but Rayman is a strong 2D platformer on the Game Boy Color. This Virtual Console port comes just in time to help us forget about the disastrous Rayman Origins demo. Find out why people love Rayman in this must-own Virtual Console release!
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