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July, 2012
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Unchained Blades
Reviews au Courant
July 30, 2012
Unchained Blades is ultimately marred by a narrative structure that works against the best elements of the role-playing game genre. Just when things are about to get good, the game throws you for a loop and hits the reset button. The simple gameplay and paper-thin characters aren't enough to make up for this unfathomable design decision.
Defunct Games vs. SNK Minis 5
Defunct Games Vs.
July 27, 2012
Just when it looked like the well was starting to dry up, SNK is back with two more hits from the 1980s. Up first is Gang Wars, a Double Dragon-inspired brawler set in the fictional world of New York City. Once we've mopped up the streets, it's time to move on to Time Soldiers, an action game that managed to find its way on to nearly every 8-bit console of the era. Are these of these arcade games worth owning? Find out now as we review Gang Wars, Time Soldiers and every other Mini SNK has released in the last two years.
Gang Wars (PSP Minis)
Reviews au Courant
July 27, 2012
It's New York City and the year is 1989, do you know where Jackie Chan is? Apparently he's in Gang Wars, SNK's newest downloadable Mini for your PSP, PlayStation 3 and PS Vita. Find out what Cyril thinks of Gang Wars, SNK's fake Jackie Chan brawler!
Time Soldiers (PSP Minis)
Reviews au Courant
July 27, 2012
Is there a better video game cliche than time travel? Time Soldiers mixes the fun of Ikari Warriors with an adventure that sends you zipping through five different time periods. Is this worth three dollars? Find out now when you read Cyril's full review of Time Soldiers for the PSP Minis!
Track & Field II
Review - NES
July 27, 2012
Think every Olympics-based game is terrible? Then you clearly haven't played Track & Field II, the one bright spot in a week of terrible sports sims. This 1988 Konami title offers a wide assortment of interesting events, including canoeing, fencing, arm wrestling and taekwondo. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Track & Field II for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Quantum Conundrum
Reviews au Courant
July 26, 2012
Quantum Conundrum is about as close as you can get to ripping off Portal without Valve contacting their lawyers. Some of the puzzles are fun, but the game ultimately devolves into nothing more than platform hopping. The moments of brilliance cannot make up for some truly awful writing and an anticlimactic ending!
Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996
Review - Genesis
July 26, 2012
Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996 definitively proves that the Winter Games are better than the Summer Games. Say what you will about the cold weather, at least there's no button mashing in bobsledding. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996 for the Sega Genesis!
Summer Games
Review - Master System
July 25, 2012
From the makers of California Games comes Summer Games, an unlicensed Olympics games. With only five events to compete in, will Summer Games be able to keep your attention for long? Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Summer Games for the Sega Master System!
Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer 94
Review - Genesis
July 24, 2012
There are a few modes to play through in Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer 94, but nothing of substantial depth. This is a mini-game collection full of sports you mostly don't care about. This isn't the train wreck most Olympic games are, but that doesn't mean you should rush out and pick up this U.S. Gold game. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer 94 for the Sega Genesis!
Track & Field
Review - NES
July 23, 2012
It's the week of the Olympics, which means that it's time to bring out the button mashing sports games of yesteryear. We start the week off with Track & Field, a Konami classic that (for better or worse) set the bar on how to control an Olympics game. Find out what Matt thinks when you read his full review of Track & Field for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Game Journalist Goes on a Date
Comic Book Mods
July 23, 2012
Comic Book Mods (Ep. 17) - It's time for Adventures in Game Journalism, the only online comic that dares to show you what it's really like to be a professional game critic. This week we're checking in with the game journalist and his date as they check out a local club. Things seem to be going well, but anything can happen at a moment's notice. Find out what happens when you read Game Journalist Goes on a Date!
A Week of the Olympic Games
Recapped
July 22, 2012
This week marks the start of the 2012 London Olympic Summer Games. For the next month we'll be inundated with medal reports and packaged pieces created to make us feel a sense of patriotism. Before the torch is lit and the athletes compete, we've decided to take a look at five old school games based on the Olympics. Not all of the games are officially licensed, but they all embody the true spirit of the Summer and Winter Games.
LEGO Batman 2: DC Super Heroes
Reviews au Courant
July 20, 2012
It's not a very deep game, but LEGO Batman 2 manages to charm with its open world and large roster. Fans of DC will love how many characters show up, while everybody else will have a good time taking down the Joker once again. Best of all, this game sets things up for the far more interesting LEGO Justice League adventure that is bound to be announced any time now!
Batman Forever
Review - Genesis
July 20, 2012
Batman Forever for the Sega Genesis is the perfect movie adaptation. It's an ugly game with horrible production values, a miserable plot, stiff characters, bad design and a complete lack of original ideas. I didn't enjoy a single minute of it, instead finding it to be a grueling experience from start to end. In other words, it's exactly like the Batman Forever movie.
Batman: Return of the Joker
Review - NES
July 19, 2012
The Joker is back and this time it's going to take a bigger, stronger and tougher Batman to send him scurrying to Arkham Asylum. Good thing that's what you get in Batman: Return of the Joker, SunSoft's pseudo-sequel to their 1989 classic. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Batman: Return of the Joker for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Batman: The Video Game
Review - Game Boy
July 18, 2012
Batman is back and he's brought a new toy ... a gun?!? It turns out that Bruce Wayne has gone Wild West in this bizarre Game Boy adventure. But don't worry; you still have the trusty Batarangs to make things feel at home. Find out what Matt thinks when you read his full review of Batman: The Video Game for the Nintendo Game Boy!
Batman Returns
Review - Sega CD
July 17, 2012
Batman is ready to put down the Catwoman and defeat the Penguin, regardless of whether that means 2D platforming or 3D racing. This bizarre racing/action hybrid has something for everybody ... assuming you like platforming or driving. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Batman Returns for the Sega CD!
Batman
Review - Genesis
July 16, 2012
Much like the movie it's based on, Batman offers big action scenes to make up for a shallow premise. This game is too afraid to delve as deep as the movie, which in turn only scratched the surface of what made Batman such a compelling character. Find out what Cyril thinks of Batman for the Sega Genesis!
The Week the Dark Knight Rises
Recapped
July 15, 2012
It's the week we've all been waiting for; the week when Christopher Nolan ends his epic Batman trilogy. Will Bane be the one that kills Batman, or will he live the rest of his life in love with Catwoman? I guess we'll find out this Friday. In the mean time you can check out our tribute to the Dark Knight. This week we're looking at five classic Batman games. We have handheld games, 8-bit games and even one that features digital motion capturing. It's the Week the Dark Knight Rises!
Menace Beach
Review - NES
July 13, 2012
This is Menace Beach, an action game from Color Dreams. You may also know the game as Sunday Funday or Miss Peach World, assuming you're religious, Asian, a pervert or all three. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Menace Beach for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
California Games II
Review - Master System
July 12, 2012
California Games II is a baffling title with four very odd sport choices. You get hang gliding (yay!), body surfing (eh?), skateboarding (ugh!) and snowboarding (WTF?!?). Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of California Games II for the Sega Master System!
Toobin'
Review - NES
July 11, 2012
Even with improved handling, Toobin' proves to be too simplistic to hold my attention for long. Also, the presentation is a mess and there's no reason to play through the game more than once. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Toobin' for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama
Review - Genesis
July 10, 2012
Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama is a silly game with a lot of problems. The gameplay doesn't always work and the jokes make me roll my eyes, but I had a reasonably good time trying to win back the beach babes. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Normy's Beach Babe-O-Rama for the Sega Genesis!
T&C Surf Designs: Wood & Water Rage
Review - NES
July 09, 2012
With uncontrollable gameplay and sub-par graphics, T&C Surf Designs: Wood & Water Rage is a level of bad we weren't prepared for. But somebody has to review it! Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of T&C Surf Designs: Wood & Water Rage for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
Reviews au Courant
July 09, 2012
How good is Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition? So good that the stellar single-player storyline makes me completely forget about the lackluster additional content on disc 2. This may be the most comprehensive version of last year's must-own comic book game, but that doesn't mean that this two-disc package is better!
A Week of Summer Fun
Recapped
July 08, 2012
There's a heat wave going around, have you heard? The entire country is being bombarded with record breaking temperatures, all thanks to the douche bag sun. Defunct Games has decided to beat the heat with a collection of summer-themed games. This week we're getting outside for skateboarding, surfing, beach babes and inner tubes. It's going to be an action-packed week! It's a week of summer fun!
McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
Review - Genesis
July 06, 2012
Don't be chased off by its junk food roots, McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure is part of a healthy diet. It turns out that our own McDonald's hater has decided to weigh in on this rare "Treasure". It turns out that Cyril kind of likes the game. Find out what he says when you read his full review of McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure for the Sega Genesis!
This Week in Defunct Games - July 6, 2012
This Week in Defunct Games
July 06, 2012
It's an exciting week here at This Week in Defunct Games. This is the 199th episode, which means that next week we'll be digging into the big 200! But that's not the only reason why I'm excited. For the first time all year, all three major retro services are represented. We get 2020 Super Baseball for the Wii Virtual Console. The Legend of Zelda and NES Open Tournament Golf for the 3DS Virtual Console. And if that wasn't enough, The Little Mermaid II makes an appearance on Sony's PSone Classics store. Which of these is worth buying? Find out when you read another exciting episode of This Week in Defunct Games!
The Legend of Zelda (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
July 06, 2012
If you count Ocarina of Time 3D, this NES port marks the sixth Legend of Zelda release on the Nintendo 3DS. If you're one of those people who has already gone through The Minish Cap and other more contemporary classics, this 8-bit adventure might be a little too plain. On the other hand, the dungeon puzzles are still well designed and the five dollar asking price sounds about right. If you can handle more Zelda, then this is the game for you.
NES Open Tournament Golf (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
July 06, 2012
NES Open Tournament Golf is a lot of fun, assuming you can get past some of the game's problems. Sadly, not all of the issues are related to the title's age. Still, even if you can get past the technical problems, you're left with a by-the-numbers golf game. You're better off buying one of Nintendo's recent Mario Golf releases. NES Open Tournament Golf isn't a bad game, but it has enough problems to stay off the must-buy list.
The Little Mermaid II (PSone Classics)
Reviews au Courant
July 06, 2012
I came away impressed with The Little Mermaid II. I didn't expect the side-scrolling gameplay and Ecco-style exploration. The puzzles are inventive and the presentation shows that some care was put into this adaptation. Older gamers will have no problem beating the story in one sitting and younger Mermaid fans may be confused by the outdated look. Still, the core mechanics hold up and I had a lot of fun.
2020 Super Baseball (Virtual Console)
Reviews au Courant
July 06, 2012
Despite not being very good, these SNK baseball games (including the equally bad Baseball Stars series) have a strong cult following. Trust me, I get the emails every time I dare mention the poor fielding and atrocious batting mechanics. This is a game full of amazing ideas, and I truly wish SNK could have pulled it all together. But they didn't, and 2020 Super Baseball is yet another foul ball.
Trolls on Treasure Island
Review - NES
July 05, 2012
Cyril isn't sure what to make of Trolls on Treasure Island. Released in 1994, this archaic NES game has terrible graphics and unresponsive controls. And did I mention that it's a remake of an even crazier game? See if Cyril can make heads or tails out of Trolls on Treasure Island when you read his full review!
Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure
Review - Genesis
July 04, 2012
They're tiny, they're toony and, according to the theme song, they're all a little looney. That's right; it's time for Tiny Toon Adventures, the remarkably clever Looney Tunes spin-off from the early 1990s. What does Cyril think of their first Genesis outing? Find out when you read his full review of Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure!
The Flintstones: King Rock Treasure Island
Review - Game Boy
July 03, 2012
King Rock Treasure Island makes for a solid 2D action game, even if it fails miserably as Flintstones fiction. You don't get any of the witty banter and the storyline is about as thin as the paper Fred's drawn on. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of The Flintstones: King Rock Treasure Island for the Nintendo Game Boy!
Treasure Master
Review - NES
July 02, 2012
The only way I envision Treasure Master being fun is if you truly believe there's a $10,000 prize at the end of the ordeal. That's just about the only way you can justify the poor visuals, frustrating difficulty and bad gameplay. Find out what Cyril thinks when you read his full review of Treasure Master for the Nintendo Entertainment System!
A Week Full of Buried Treasure
Recapped
July 01, 2012
As the summer months heat up, our minds turn to one thing: Tracking down buried treasure. Don't laugh, but finding a map to hidden treasure is a mainstay in video gaming. This week we shed some light on this trope by reviewing five games about finding treasure. Can you follow the clues and find the secret stash? Find out now when you read A Week Full of Buried Treasure!
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