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Netflix Pitch: Shaq Fu - The TV Series (Animated)
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on February 11, 2015   |   Episode 43 (Show Archive)  

   
As you may have heard, Netflix and Nintendo are teaming up to create a live action television series based on The Legend of Zelda. As far as I'm concerned, this is great news. But as great as this sounds, there are a few other classic video game franchises that also need the TV treatment. Watch as I pitch some of my ideas to Netflix.



Okay, so, you know how everybody is excited about your upcoming Legend of Zelda TV series? Obviously. Well, what if instead of filming a little boy in a green skirt fighting a dark train, you create an action-packed, rock-em, sock-em series starring a guy who wears a size 22 shoe? That's right, I'm talking about Shaq Fu.

Just imagine it, Shaquille O'Neal gets sucked into another dimension and has to fight his way back to Earth. In the first episode he befriends two other outcasts, Kaori the cat-girl and Colonel, a war veteran who has been pieced back together using robotic parts. Maybe we can get somebody like Zoe Saldana or Yaya Dacosta or Rhetta. I don't know. Just don't get Katherine Heigl, she ruins everything.

So, it turns out that the Colonel has been sent by the Beast, a demonic figure that rules over the entire dimension. Shaq learns that a squad of killers has been hired to make sure the basketball star doesn't make it back to Earth. From voodoo to mummies to Middle Easterners, each assassin is based on one of Shaq's irrational fears.

And get this, the whole thing ends with Shaq waking up and realizing that he's being drugged and held in North Korea by Kim Jong Un. Now here is where things get interesting. Season two involves Dennis Rodman teaming up to help save Shaq and beat up the evil dictator. Shaq will take everything he learned while helpless in a coma, sort of like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man. I'm telling you, this is the Double Team we've all been waiting for. And then in season three we'll make him President of the United States of America. Or send him to a woman's prison. I don't know, I'm just spit-balling here.

I know what you're thinking: Everybody hated Shaq Fu. But look, it raised $458,000 on Indie-Go-Go, which means at least 1,300 people want to see it return. Oh, and this is way out of the box, but what if it turned out this was actually the prequel to The Interview. Forget Daredevil, I'm pretty sure Shaq Fu is going to put your little website on the map. So what do you say, want to help me make this a reality?

No? Okay, let me introduce you to me other idea: Michael Jordan stars in Chaos in the Windy City: The Series!
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