Moving Houses

Sometimes, you’re going to know exactly what to expect from a game based entirely on the first level or two. However, there are some games, like Portal, that will trick you into thinking you know what to expect, only to rip the rug from under your feet and laugh in your face as you land on your butt. Moving Houses is definitely in the latter category. Oh, it wants you to think that it’s a bright, cheerful game about packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul truck, but the newest game from Gordon Little is hiding a deep, dark secret. Is that crazy twist ending enough to put up with the monotony of packing boxes in preparation for a big move? That’s what we’re about to find out when I review Moving Houses, out now on PlayStation 5.

Moving Houses is a game about ... well ... moving houses. Specifically, it involves you going from room to room boxing up the small items and carrying out the bigger ones, which you’ll throw into a moving truck. For example, when you’re packing up the kitchen, you’ll need to put the dishes and silver wear into a bunch of different boxes, while the microwave and stool will need to be carried out individually.

If it sounds like you’re playing a moving simulator, then it’s because you are, at least for the first two-thirds or so. You’ll systematically go through the living room, garage, bathrooms, bedroom and so on, boxing up items and walking them out to the truck. One room at a time. As you do this, you’ll level up, allowing the mover to run, jump, crouch and pack even more stuff into those boxes. This is going to help speed up the process, as you work as hard as you can to finish packing before you run out of daylight.

At first, this doesn’t seem like it’s going take very long. After all, there just aren’t that many rooms to clear out, and the house is surprisingly organized, with no real clutter to speak of. I mean, it’s not like they have a giant DVD collection you’re going to need to box up. There are really just a few books and a couple of pictures on the wall. The whole thing should take no time.

But this is where you’ll start to notice that this is no ordinary house. Suddenly, the house has a couple extra rooms or even a whole second story. Where did that come from? Why is the furniture suddenly rearranged? What are all these boxes full of confidential information? Did this family have a baby? Wait ... is the furniture now on the ceiling? What the hell is going on?

And this is where the game finally gets interesting. The final act veers in a completely different direction that poses some intriguing questions and suggests a much darker story. You’ll start to notice that the task description is talking directly to you, and everything you thought you knew about Moving Houses goes right out the window. By the time the credits rolled and the game was over, I was completely speechless. What did I just play?

While the gameplay is entirely different, the comparison to Portal is apt. Both games pretend to be about one thing, only to reveal a deeper, darker truth that reshapes everything that came before it. Moving Houses even ends with a comical, upbeat song that is also a bit sinister, just like that other game. Unfortunately, there’s one big problem – Moving Houses is nowhere near as much fun as Portal.

Part of the problem is that boxing up forks, towels and hand soap isn’t nearly as compelling as traversing complicated levels with a portal gun. To be blunt, the first half of this game is aggressively boring. It’s a lot (and I mean A LOT) of carrying boxes to the truck. It’s mindless and repetitive work. It doesn’t help that the house is bland and boring, with almost no details and nothing much to hold your attention. After the first twenty minutes, I worried that the entire game was going to be like this.

Thankfully, things pick up quite a bit in the final act, but it’s a real slog getting there. And it’s actually worse than that, because it’s an occasionally broken slog. When packing around big items like a bench or a television, you have to watch out, because it’s extremely easy to lose those items in the background. You’ll take a corner too quickly or hold the big item wrong, and suddenly it will fall out of your hands and into the wall. You might be able to see the TV sticking out just enough to grab it, but it’s useless. You’ll have to reset that level’s progress to complete the stage, something I had to do about a half dozen times.

The one good thing I’ll say about this game is that it sticks the landing. It goes in some wild directions, which results in one of the year’s better endings. That said, with boring graphics, bad gameplay and a bunch of game-breaking bugs, there’s no way I can recommend you actually play this game. Instead, what you should do is go watch the last 20 minutes of a playthrough and enjoy the song and twist ending. You’ll experience the best part of Moving Houses without having to fill a single box. Now that’s what I call efficient.