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Top Ten E3 Disappointments (Broken)
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on June 20, 2002   |   Episode 36 (Show Archive)  

   
WALL OF TEXT EXPLAINED: What you're looking at is an episode of Countdown w/ Defunct Games published before 2006. As you can tell, something has gone horribly awry. I won't bore you with the technical details, but it has to do with the old layout being incompatible with the new. Eventually, we would like to retrofit these old episodes of Countdown, but that will require a significant amount of time. As Defunct Games has only a limited staff, we aren't sure when we'll have the chance to fix this article. If you absolutely need to know what this article said, get a hold of us on Twitter or leave a message in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will enjoy the episodes created post-2006.

#10 Dr. Muto Midway made me erase all the pictures I was taking of Dr. Muto, they rudely told me that they were not giving out press kits this year, and they forcefully announced that they were not going to give out information about this game in question. So, I don't care how good this game ends up being, as far as I'm concerned it deserves to fail miserably. If you don't want to help the press out, and provide us a way of reporting these games, then we're not going to support you. And so, from this moment on, I give you my plan to boycott Dr. Muto (and other Midway games). Do as you see fit. #9 Star Wars: Bounty Hunter I don't know what was worse, the new Star Wars movie, or this lame, half assed attempt at a third person shooter. The control was tragic, the graphics were chunky, and the music was beyond annoying. Sure the game could shape up to be a great, but judging by the current state of Star Wars games (and their past) I don't have any hope for this title. I'm not sure what the thinking is behind the game, but there is a lot of work to go before this game can compete in the current generation. #8 Yoshi's Island: Super Mario Advance 3 Yes Yoshi's Island is a good game. Yes it looked and played wonderfully on the GameBoy Advance. But I'm getting a little tired of these constant remakes. Super Mario Bros. 2 was an alright update, and Mario Adventure was basically an exact port, but Yoshi's Island? What ever happened to Super Mario Bros. 3? Or even the Japanese Super Mario Bros. 2. And to make things worse, this Mario Advance has the EXACT SAME TWO PLAYER GAME!! The same one. Nothing different about it. NOTHING. Nintendo's rep stated that the reason they keep giving us remakes is because they keep selling. I'll just leave it at that. #7 Tomb Raider: the Angel of Darkness Even though Lara Croft was on six different TVs at E3 (just in the Sony booth) only one playable copy of the game showed up. And you know what, that was enough. I was blown away by the blandness of the new graphics, the lackluster new animation, and the story (which was even more laughable than the recent movie). The play control hasn't improved all that much, either, which leads me to understand why only one of these games showed up. Perhaps there's still a lot of work to be done on this new adventure, but as it stands right now, it's not worth the chemicals its treated with. #6 EVERYTHING at the 989 Booth Oh sure they were all sports games, and mostly PlayStation sports games, at that, but what makes them bad? Well, for starters they don't play at all like the sports they are trying to cover. They don't look good, either, not even the PlayStation 2 titles. And just compared to the current state of Sega and Electronic Arts sports titles, these 989 games just fall miserably short. To add salt to the wound, Sony forgot to mention any of 989's games at their press conference, yet talked up the upcoming Madden 2003 game (even letting Madden talk about the game). This can't be a good sign. #5 Resident Evil 0/Onimusha 2 Wait a second, how can you be so harsh? After all, the Resident Evil prequel and the next adventure in the Onimusha series featured great graphics, a good story, and more than a few surprises. But the control hasn't really changed, and they still feel like tanks. WHY ON EARTH would you still want the character to control like they did in the original Resident Evil? There's a reason ALL THREE SYSTEMS have more than one analog control, and frankly, it's time for Capcom to use them. We know they can, Devil May Cry used a new and better control set up, so why not Resident Evil? #4 Dark Angel I've never been a Dark Angel fan, and so I wasn't at all sad when Fox took it off the air. But it looks like James Cameron's small screen disaster is getting a second life on the home consoles. I'm sure it started as a tie in to what could have been a hugely popular series, but at the E3 the game just seemed out of place. What annoyed me the most about this game was the one thing that probably made the show popular from the get-go: after she beats up every thug, all of which looked the same to me, the voice of Max (Jessica Alba) would have some condescending smart ass comment to make. The game didn't play much better, either. This really is a mess of a project based on a mess of a TV show. #3 Dino Stalker Not being a fan of the Gun Survivor series, Dino Stalker didn't do much for me. While I certainly appreciate that it uses Namco's Guncon, Capcom chose to demo the game without that handy device. I just don't understand the appeal of this game, but just about every time I walked by Capcom's booth somebody was playing the game. Had Capcom given us Dino Crisis 3, or Marvel vs. Capcom 3, or anything else, I think we all would have been a lot happier. #2 Simpson's Site When asked if Matt Groening is involved in these projects, the Fox Interactive rep assured me that all Simpson's games have extensive hands on participation from Matt and his team. Well, perhaps it's time to get Matt out of the development room, and back in charge of the TV series (that has gone nowhere but downhill in the last four years). So far there just haven't been any good games based on Homer and the Simpsons clan, but that doesn't stop them from attempting (just like Army Men). And this skateboarding version of the Simpsons is truly tragic. It couldn't even hold a candle to the other lame Tony Hawk rip offs at this years E3, and that's a shame. Leave the Simpsons to the TV and DVD, please. #1 Dragon's Lair 3D I had my hopes up, I was ready, nothing was going to bring me down, but you know what, a strange thing happened on the way to porting the most infamous LaserDisc game to the next generation consoles. I was actually hoping Dragon's Lair would play better on the home system than it did in the arcade, but you know what, that might not be the case. While at least you get control of Dirk, it should be said that he's one of the slowest, most sluggish game characters I've ever seen. The game simply plays TERRIBLE. This was one of the worst playing games at the show, and to make it that much worse, the game really didn't look that good, even at 90% complete. What a wonderful missed opportunity. Question: What was the most disappointing thing of them all? There weren't a lot of scantly clad women walking around. While there were a few, including Space Channel look-alikes, Mai from Fatal Fury, and those NextGen girls, it wasn't like those years at the C.E.S. Granted we were in L.A. this year, and not in Las Vegas, but still I miss women walking around with nothing but strategically placed $100 gambling chips. I miss the porno booths. I miss the really good room service. THAT, in a nut shell, is the most disappointing thing about this years E3. Of course, that's not entirely fair, there are plenty of great things about E3 that aren't covered in the C.E.S., but none of them are as cool as those almost naked working girls. Of course, that's just personal opinion, and mileage may vary.
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