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Ten Easter Games (Broken)
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on April 15, 2001   |   Episode 1 (Show Archive)  

   
WALL OF TEXT EXPLAINED: What you're looking at is an episode of Countdown w/ Defunct Games published before 2006. As you can tell, something has gone horribly awry. I won't bore you with the technical details, but it has to do with the old layout being incompatible with the new. Eventually, we would like to retrofit these old episodes of Countdown, but that will require a significant amount of time. As Defunct Games has only a limited staff, we aren't sure when we'll have the chance to fix this article. If you absolutely need to know what this article said, get a hold of us on Twitter or leave a message in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will enjoy the episodes created post-2006.

#10 Rise 2: The Resurrection It looks like Jesus wasn't the only one who was resurrected! Rise 2 is the sequel to Rise of the Robots, and if there was ever a game that shouldn't have been made it's this one. Is it an Easter game? No. Is it a game to play anytime? Heck no. Does the rest of the Easter Top Ten list get any better? I think so ... #9 NBA Jam T.E. What better to get you in the Christmas mood than with the best game of Easter Eggs of all time. Wait wait wait, Easter Eggs? But it's a basketball game. Well, not all Easter Eggs are painted fancy colors and delivered by a big bunny. Nope, in the case of NBA Jam, you can play the game as any one of twenty bonus characters (including Prince Charles, Snoop Dogg, Sonic Youth, President Clinton, and many many more), tons of need tricks (big head, etc.), and much much much more. It's not hard to find the Easter eggs here, though, there are at least a thousand sites dedicated to cheat codes on the internet! #8 Super Mario USA What's this? Mario going after eggs? You bet. Even though it's extremely redundant, Mario has to capture an egg at the end of just about every stage. What's he going to do with them? Do his friends collect eggs? Does he have a painting fetish? Is he just really hungry? Does he just like to steel eggs from people? What is he doing with all those eggs? #7 Who Framed Roger Rabbit Oh, he's not related? Who says? Oh, the last name, but that doesn't really mean anything these days. Look at Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, and Emilio Estevez? And then people that should be related aren't! Gina G, Warren G, and Kenny G, anybody? Where's the justice? #6 E.G.G. Yes, it does refer to something other than the eatable eggs, but y'know, sometimes it's good enough to have a vehicle in the Easter spirit than nothing at all. It's kind of like Saint Patrick's Day, when you know you don't have green on, but keep convincing everybody that you green underwear on. #5 Eggs of Steal And while we're at it, let me suggest some other really horrible puns: Dr. Egglove: or, how I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Frying Pan, A Nightmare on Egg Street, Egg-less Patient, and Eggz! #4 Rabbit Punch I know that by the name of this game you would think that this is a fighting game with rabbits (like Cock fighting). But it's not, it's actually a really silly shooter. It's not a good game at all, in fact it's pretty bad, and not worth talking about AT ALL. #3 Sonic the Hedgehog Series That's right. It's not only little American kids looking for eggs this Easter, millions of Japanese children have enjoyed fighting Dr. Eggman in the Sonic games. And with the next Sonic game coming later on this year, there will be tons more action looking for that big Eggman! #2 Alice Looks like Alice may have been one of the first people to not only see the Easter Bunny, but also follow him. And what did she find? Very bad things, man, very bad things. This might not be the perfect Easter game, but it's really great if you don't mind wanting to hurt little furry animals. #1 Jumping Flash I don't think there is a game more in the Easter Rabbit mood than Jumping Flash. As Robbit (a distant, reconstructed ancestor of the Easter Bunny), it's your turn to kick some ass in a weirdo Hawaiian world. If you are looking for a game to get you in the Easter mood, look no further than the three Jumping Flash games. Finding Easterland So all this talk about Easter and bunnies got me to wonder, if you were to catch a Easter Bunny (and take his eggs, of course), what would you do with him? I don't know about you, but I might have some questions, but how do you ask these questions? I mean, when was the last time you saw a talking rabbit (then again, when was the last time you saw a 7 foot tall 300 pound bunny with painted eggs)? But never fear, Defunct Games has you covered. If you go to the Rabbit Language Dictionary you can learn what our furry friends are really trying to tell you. But remember, you might want to actually catch the Easter Bunny first.
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