If you are like me, too many hours of your past was played playing NBA Jam. For awhile there it was the biggest arcade game ever, and when Acclaim got their mits on it they managed to release it for just about every home system EVER! And with every update and new system came new secret character to find (or read about in magazines). We were able to play as such characters as Snoop Doggy Dogg, Sonic Youth, Bill Clinton, and many many more. To this day the secret characters are what people remember (outside of the SUPER dunks). But the love for NBA Jam seems to be waning a bit, so here at the Defunct Office we thought we'd offer up a list of characters we thought would be fun to play.



Starting from the top - left, working our way around clockwise, I feel that ex-football star, ex-acting star, ex-advertising star OJ Simpsons should take a stab at the basketball arena. And his buddy, infamous Congressman Gary Condit, who may or may not have anything to do with a disappearance. Who knows. Who cares? I know who cares, Rush Limbaugh! He doesn't cares for anybody who's a Democrat! And you wanna know who doesn't care about American Politics? Ichiro Suzuki, that's who!! But then there's Puff ... er, I mean, P. Diddy (screw it, from now on I'm calling him: The Artist Formerly Known as Puff Daddy), and next to him, Sean's best friend, Eminem. With a new CD coming out, Michael Jackson could be taking influence from Eminem (I hope not, though). And if his new CD sucks, James Gandolfini can take him out, just like that. But don't do anything with Conan O'Brien, who loves to joke around about the host of the Weakest Link, Anne Robinson. And finally I think that good friends Fred Durst and George W. Bush should make up their own team, ready to take out the returning Michael Jordan ... but then again, maybe that's next year.