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The Worst Arkham City Pre-Order Bonuses
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on October 18, 2011   |   Episode 54 (Show Archive)  


"I told you NOT to buy the game at Walmart! Now I won't get to torment poor little Robin!"
As far as I know, every single person in the world loved 2009's Batman: Arkham Asylum. Not only did it sell through the roof, but it garnered some of the best reviews of that year. Since it's an established fact that everybody loved the first game, it makes sense for Warner Bros. Interactive to try and capitalize on the universal love with a sequel. After two years of waiting, that sequel has finally shipped to stores.

Unfortunately, buying the game isn't as easy as you might think. Thanks to Warner's convoluted pre-order/store exclusive agreements, Bat fans will have to pick and choose which mission pack, costumes and characters they want to own. Wanting to play as Robin? Then you'll want to hit up Best Buy. Looking for the Joker's DLC map? Then say hello to the unfriendly GameStop employee for me.

To further complicate matters, I thought it might be fun to add a few more choices for pre-order/store exclusive bonuses. With so many different exclusives to choose from it's only natural for a few to slip through the cracks. Here are my picks for the five worst Arkham City pre-order bonuses. Do yourself a favor and stay far, far away from these retail outlets.

Batman Credit Card
Just what every caped crusader needs, a Batman credit card. That's right, it's Gotham City's very own credit card. First introduced in Batman Forever, the GothCard is just what the wealthiest man in town needs when bidding on a night with Poison Ivy. While most pre-order bonuses are nothing more than codes for downloadable content, the GothCard is a real world credit card that you can use to pre-order Batman: Arkham Country or whatever the sequel is called. Don't leave your billion dollar mansion without it!

Target Audience: Have you always dreamed about having the best things, but don't want to work hard and earn them? Are you in a competition to see who can spend the most money? Are you undaunted by the prospect of living the rest of your life under a mountain of debt? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then the Bat Credit Card is the perfect pre-order bonus for Arkham City.

Location: Reserve the game at any one of the helpful kiosks located around college campuses or keep checking your mail.

Playable Character: Alfred Pennyworth
Everybody knows how tough it is to be Batman. He's out there every night mopping the streets of scum, going head-to-head with super villains and putting up with Robin's whining. But

"Yes, I know this is the fourth pizza I've ordered today. I'm something of an anxiety eater!"
Bruce Wayne isn't the only one who has it tough. In this exclusive pre-order bonus we get to see the events of Arkham City through the eyes of Alfred the Butler. See him fret, nervously pace and nearly have a heart attack at the climax of this masterpiece. Be there for Arthur in this tedious DLC pack.

Target Audience: Are you the kind of person who likes waiting up into the wee hours of the night waiting to find out if a loved one is alive or dead? Are you a fan of chewing your finger nails? Do you like controlling characters that can barely walk and has trouble going to the bathroom? If so, then walk; don't run, to this "exciting" pre-order bonus.

Location: This exclusive playable character is yours for free when you check a loved one in at the beautiful Panorama retirement community. Take the tour, meet the staff and check out all of the amenities. Your parents won't appreciate you trying to push them off to an old folks home, but you'll love this amazing pack for Arkham City.

Shark Repellent Bat Spray
Spoiler Alert: There has yet to be a single shark sighting in Arkham City. That's good news, because nobody likes getting their bodies ripped to pieces by Jaws and his douchey friends. But Batman can never be too sure, which is why I recommend getting this pre-order bonus -- the shark repellent bat spray. With this exclusive weapon you can take charge in the rare case of a shark attack. A superhero can never be too careful, so it's important to always have a can of shark spray handy. Just ask Batman in this classic TV episode from 1966.

Target Audience: Are you Adam West? Wait ... you are? Dude, I hope you're taking care of yourself. I would really hate to see you pass away before William Shatner. I have always said that Star Trek would have been a lot funnier with you as Captain James T. Kirk. Talk about a missed opportunity.

Location: This bonus is exclusive to Cabela's and only available to customers who spend at least $100 on fishing gear or chewing tobacco.

Halle Berry's Catwoman Suit
Fans of Batman have an enviable amount of costume to choose from. Depending on where you buy the game you'll be

Still not sexy!
able to unlock Earth One Batman, Year One Batman, Animated Series Batman and may more. But what about Catwoman? Fear not batfans, because now there's a pre-order bonus for you. Unfortunately it's Halle Berry's S&M-inspired get-up from the 2004 bomb, Catwoman. On the plus side: At least we don't have to put up with Sharon Stone's hammy overacting.

Target Audience: Are you a one of the sexiest women in the world in search of a costume that makes you look like a low-rent porn star? Are you the type of person that wants to see a terrible costume ugly up a very hot woman? Do you like Catwoman more than The Dark Knight? If so, then maybe you should be watching Project Runway and not pre-ordering Arkham City.

Location: Halle Berry's Catwoman costume can be yours when you pre-order the game at Party City. While you're there you can take advantage of the 20% off sale they're having on all of the festive Halloween costumes. Now go and imitate something scary, like Charlie Sheen's career, Chuck Testa or, scariest of all, the economy!

Xbox 360 Kinect Mode
Controlling the world's greatest superhero may be thrilling the first time you do it, but Microsoft is here to tell you that
Alex Kidd in Pit Fighter World
Microsoft promises that the future is way more fun than it looks!
using a regular game pad is overrated. Introducing the Arkham City Kinect Mode, the brand new mode where you play the wheelchair-bound Oracle as she tells Batman what to do and where to go. All the fun of analyzing maps, watching surveillance footage and yelling at a mentally ill man in a bat suit where to go can be yours with this amazing new Kinect mode.

Target Audience: Are you too lazy to pick up a game controller? Do you blindly believe that something is "futuristic" simply because you heard that in a commercial? Do you like paying $150 for a system that is mostly shovelware? If so, then you own a Kinect and by law you have to get this exclusive bonus.

Location: You can get this at any Microsoft store. There's no need to pre-order or even buy the game, simply showing any sign that you still like the Kinect will net you one of these codes. You don't even have to rave about it, just tell them that it's a solid C+ and you like it better than your Zune.


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