As I'm sure you have already heard, Capcom and Namco jointly announced Street Fighter X Tekken this past weekend. While there had been some rumblings about this product here and there, I think a lot of us were surprised that it was actually real and currently running. It was arguably the announcement of the show, stealing the thunder from ... well, I'm sure something else was announced at the San Diego Comic Con. Right?
I know I should be ecstatic to have Street Fighter and Tekken come together. I mean, I have loved every other Capcom team-up, so why not Tekken? The truth is, I'm cautiously optimistic. There's something about diving back into the Street Fighter characters that rubs me the wrong way, and I'm not sure how well the traditionally 3D Tekken characters will translate to this brand new 2D world. There's also the balance issue, which is a big deal considering half the cast seems to have super powers while the other half punches and kicks. All this could somehow work, but I'm not as excited as everybody else. Here are some games that would have gotten me out of my seat and sent a thrill up my leg ...
DarkStalkers X SoulCalibur
With the announcement of Marvel vs. Capcom 3, it felt like the time was right to announce a brand new DarkStalkers game. After all, Street Fighter IV producer Yoshinori Ono is "depurate" to work on a new DarkStalkers game, and
it's one of those titles you routinely hear demanded by the fans. For the first time in a decade, it really did feel like San Diego Comic Con was the place where the moons would line up and Felicia would go out on the prowl one more time. But alas, instead we got Street Fighter X Tekken..
Admit it: DarkStalkers X SoulCalibur is a much more enticing propisition. In DarkStalkers you have crazy, over-the-top monsters who perform some of the most exciting special attacks in all of fighting game history. And then there's SoulCalibur, a franchise built around busty women and huge weapons. This is a battle I would pay to see. It would be a giant knight versus Frankenstein's Monster. It would be a vampire hunter up against a zombie pirate. I'm telling you, this would be the match-up of the century ... but instead we get boring old Ryu fighting Eddy Gordo. Yawn.
Super Ghouls 'N Mappy
Now here's the classic arcade game I want to see. You play as Arthur, the knight who has to make his way around Mappy's crazy house avoiding zombies, gargoyles and, worst of all, cats. Collect
TVs and other items as you fight back the forces of evil and get to the next door. But don't get too cocky, because there's another level exactly like the last one waiting for you. Watch as Arthur slowly goes crazy as he's asked to do the same thing time and time again in levels that look identical. Will he ever save his bride? Judging by the simplistic controls, he doesn't stand a chance.
And even if Arthur really does manage to survive all of this insanity and defeat Lucifer, the rub is that he will be transported back to the first level and asked to do it all over again. This is the kind of classic game on which Capcom sharpened their teeth, and one of the reasons we still love them. Even if the Mappy music doesn't fit and Arthur's heavy armor gets in the way, I would pay to experience Super Ghouls 'N Mappy.
Marvel vs. DC Universe
Forget Capcom, this is the battle everybody wants to see. The idea of Superman or Wolverine going up against a regular person is patently ridiculous. Do you honestly think
Sonya Blade or Fei Long stand a chance against the Hulk? There's no possible way. These two comic book titans shouldn't waste their time fighting the regular people, they need to go head-to-head to see who is the real king of comic books.
Of course this game is unlikely, but if Capcom had announced this (even as a joke) you would have heard the sound of 80,000 comic geek's heads exploding. Suddenly you can pit Superman against Spider-Man, or the Avengers against the Justice League, or Wolverine against Wonder Woman. This would be the throw down of the century, a battle fifty years in the making. If Disney and Warner Brothers could come together to make Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, then there's no reason why Capcom can't broker a peace deal between DC and Marvel.
Street Fighter X Tekken + Cats
Nintendo is right. Everything is better with cats. It took them five years to realize that the one thing missing from Nintendogs was a ball of fur that refused to acknowledge your very existence. Even when you're paying for his food and his kitty
litter, he barely even knows when you get home. That's the kind of fun you can have when you buy Nintendogs + Cats. And now, thanks to a partnership with Nintendo, you can play Street Fighter X Tekken + Cats. It's a combination so strong that I knocked him out with a "purr-fect!"
Okay, so maybe that doesn't really exist. But it's almost worth it just so that we can put that crazy math equation into the ether. Whatever it all adds up to, Street Fighter X Tekken + Cats is the kind of game that almost develops itself. Imagine Ryu fighting Yoshimitsu -- Only to keep tripping over a pack of sleeping cats. Or maybe instead of knocking the tar out of each other, we just sit down with these adorable pussies and remark at how amazing nature is. Aren't they just the cutest things? Yeah, you know you're just the cutest thing, don'tcha? Yes you do.
Alex Kidd in Pit Fighter World
Yes, you're right. Capcom or Namco owns neither Alex Kidd nor Pit Fighter. These two games come from Sega and Atari, two companies that have
absolutely nothing to do with Street Fighter, Tekken or anything else we've talked about in this article. And that's why it would be such a shock if Capcom decided to updated Pit Fighter by using a character Sega has all but forgotten about.
It's not like Atari is going to make another Pit Fighter game -- the first title was bad enough. And what are the chances of Sega giving us another Alex Kidd adventure? I say next to none. So why not show the world what kind of balls Alex Kidd has when he goes into the pit to win money and fame? I bet this big-eared loser might be able to make a name for himself. And even if it's a complete disaster, it would still be worth watching. I have no doubt that Street Fighter X Tekken will be a great game, but Alex Kidd in Pit Fighter World would have been a more inspired choice.