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2001 - The Year that Wasn't
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on November 29, 2002   |   Episode 15 (Show Archive)  

2001: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ... or so it seemed. There was great news, entertainment, and events, some will even get their own games, but then, there was some truly heinous news that likely won't be honored in as interactive entertainment. We at Defunct Games thought it would be fun to see what we COULD have had last year ... thankfully, though, we won't have to deal with these terrible ideas. But you can enjoy them nonetheless. Here are eight games we can do without!! (Make sure you check out page 2 for even more games).


Synopsis: There was a movie that was so silly, so obnoxious, and so terrible it could only be done by somebody with mental disorders! No, I'm not talking about Tom Green in Freddie Got Fingered ... I'm talking about Mariah Carey's epic GLITTER. Now you too can live the life of a blessed vocalist who makes crappy music, see if you can keep her from killing cats, breaking beer mugs, and cracking mirrors. Glitter recreates the fun and excitement of Glitter, however, can be beaten within minutes ... for your pleasure.
Reality: Thankfully Glitter won't REALLY have a video game, nor a sequel. So, the fear has been lifted! That screaming you heard coming from the theater WASN'T Mariah Carey's singing, it was the audience screaming as they ran for the exits. The soundtrack didn't do very well either. So maybe there really is some justice in the world.
Atomic Kitten

Synopsis: I know, I know, it's hard to say anything bad about pop music ... the moment you start bashing on 'Nsync, Backstreet Boys, or O-Town is the moment you find yourself engulfed in hundreds of teenage girls with that look in their eyes. So Capcom brings us Atomic Kitten, a pop band just about no American knows, and an action game just about nobody will play. You can choose between any one of the three girls, including the cute girl, the spontaneous girl, and the wannabe Spice Girl. You can even find the secret OTHER girl in the band. If you've tired of the 'Nsync game then you better get yourself ready for some Atomic Kitten!!
Reality: Even with several "fluff" awards under their belt Atomic Kitten is on their way out. Like any number of other pop bands Atomic Kitten is neither the next big thing, nor the last important thing. And frankly, how many American gamers have even heard of Atomic Kitten???
The Weakest Link

Synopsis: So this game isn't any different from the PlayStation version, PC version, or any other version you can possibly find ... but it is on the Idrema. This year brought the life and death of a system that truly is defunct. Unlike Glitter, Where in the World is Osama?, or even Atomic Kitten, I actually want to see the Weakest Link on the Idrema! Why? Because I actually want to own an Idrema system.
Reality: Well, well, well, another system defunct, another franchise that doesn't need to continue. The Weakest Link is a fun enough television show, and shown around the world, but the Idrema went the way of the Super NES CD Drive, Virtual Boy 2 Player Link, and U.S. Nintendo 64DD. Can we really put trust in the TuxBox??
Burger Time w/ Emeril

Synopsis: With this game it would seem Emeril Lagasse has just about every EXCEPT for a movie deal. NBC picked up this chubby chef for his own series, he published another book, still has a hit show on the Food Network, and then there's this game. Sunsoft brings us the old school classic Burger Time and let's you play as Emeril. Adding to the challenge, your character now runs a little slower, gets tired, and has a bad attitude. Thankfully Emeril's number one impersonator has lent his talents to the project for witty one-liners.
Reality: Emeril Lagasse may be a top selling writer, he might have the highest rated Food Network show. But Emeril doesn't know anything about making making sitcoms. That's right, Emeril's show was canned only after a few weeks. What could have gone wrong?? Did NBC finally realize that it's a very niche market that actually LIKES Emeril?


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