Nintendo Switch Online: 1990s Critics Review Alien Storm, Golden Axe II, Columns & More

If there's one thing I know from covering the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack, it's that you should always expect the unexpected. This week was a good example of that. Mere days after announcing ten upcoming Nintendo 64 games, they turn around and give us ... three completely unexpected Genesis games? That's right, Nintendo just added Alisia Dragoon, Beyond Oasis and the run ‘n gun classic, Earthworm Jim. That's great news, but are any of these games actually worth playing in 2022? To answer that question, I decided to flip through the pages of Electronic Gaming Monthly, Mean Machines Sega, Die Hard Game Fan and more classic magazines to see what the critics said back when these games were first released. Get your swords and bubble guns ready, because this is another action-packed episode of the Nintendo Switch Online Review Crew.


Alien Storm

Genesis
Sega
1991
Review Scores
Publication Scores
GamePro 5/5
Sega Pro 79%
Mean Machines Sega 78%
MegaTech 71%
Electronic Gaming Monthly 7/10
Mega Play 7/10
Ace 699/1000
AVERAGE SCORE 77%
When you think of Sega's classic brawlers on the Genesis, the first games to come to mind are probably Golden Axe and Streets of Rage. However, there is one other game that should be mentioned in the same breath, and that game is Alien Storm. This is a vaguely futuristic science fiction game starring a group of alien hunters who are Earth's last line of defense against the creepy, crawly space invaders. A mix of both side-scrolling beat ‘em up action and first-person shooting, Alien Storm is a fun little arcade conversion that, believe it or not, is directly connected to the characters of Golden Axe.

Unfortunately, the critics were not as fond of Alien Storm as they were Sega's fantasy beat ‘em up. Giving it an average of 7 out of 10, the critics at Electronic Gaming Monthly were split as to whether this was a great addition to the Genesis or a swing and a miss. Sushi-X raved about the game's “incredible graphics, gameplay exactly, and I exactly like Golden Axe, and cool music soundtrack. Be warned, though, it IS Golden Axe in the future's clothes.” Steve, on the other hand, gave Alien Storm a 6 and said: “The only thing disappointing about this title was the lack of real challenge needed to overcome most of the obstacles. Too short when all you do is shoot, shoot, shoot.”

You also so the exact same outcome at EGM's spin-off magazine, Mega Play, which gave Alien Storm an average score of 7 out of 10. GamePro, on the other hand, liked it a LOT more than Electronic Gaming Monthly. They said that “Alien Storm mimics the arcade version perfectly. You get a great variety of easy-to-do moves, and there's never a dull moment. The simultaneous two-player function in particular is outrageously fun. Don't let the Aliens take the Earth by storm.” GamePro gave it a perfect 5 out of 5.

When we go across the pond, we see a lot of reviews, but not much variety in the actual scores. MegaTech gave it a 71%, Mean Machines Sega went with the slightly better 78% and Sega Pro went one tick higher with a 79%. The lowest score I could find was also the highest score I could find. Let me explain. Using their wacky one-thousand point scale, Ace gave Alien Storm a 699 and praised the “very pretty graphics, but they have a rather flimsy look about them. The sound effects work, but the music doesn't – it's certainly not the kind of thing you find yourself humming in the street. It's still head and shoulders above your average Mega Drive arcade effort, but that's only because the majority of them are so poor.” Those are fighting words, Ace. With most magazines falling in the 7 and 8 range, Alien Storm is a fun game for anybody who loves beat ‘em ups like Golden Axe.

Columns

Genesis
Sega
1990
Review Scores
Publication Scores
Sega Pro 90%
MegaTech 88%
Mean Machines Sega 88%
Mega Play 7/10
Video Games & Computer Entertainment 7/10
Electronic Gaming Monthly 6.25/10
AVERAGE SCORE 78%
Released only a year after Tetris blew up on Nintendo's Game Boy, Sega had their own falling block game to lure people to the Genesis. The first thing you need to know about Columns is that it's nowhere near as good as Tetris. That said, it's still a fun puzzler with some fresh ideas and a cool two-player mode. It's a faithful port of the arcade game that has you matching colored jewels in an attempt to get a high score and humiliate your friends. And while it's definitely not as influential (or good) as Tetris, the critics still loved it, right?

Well, that depends entirely on which critic you're talking to. Electronic Gaming Monthly definitely didn't love it, in fact, some of the Review Crew didn't like it. Giving it a 5 out of 10, Martin called it a “decent falling-shape puzzle game with a Klax-inspired twist. The speed an execution of the game is good, but the theme gets tiring after a while. Nice try.” EGM's highest score came from Sushi-X, who gave it a 7 and called it “both colorful and satisfying to keep me coming back. Crystals dissolve faster than the value of the Yen! For blockheads only!” Columns earned an average score of 6.25 out of 10 from EGM.

You saw a very similar score from Sendai Publishing's Sega-themed magazine, Mega Play, who gave it a 7 out of 10. In fact, that's the exact same score we saw Video Games & Computer Entertainment give it in their 22nd issue. Much like EGM, they also called it a mash-up between Tetris and Klax. They praised the vivid colors and stunning animation, though noted that “if you're a fan of arcade-action titles and are impatient with puzzle games, you may not care for Columns. However, if you've been dying to lay your hands on a Tetris-type game for your Genesis, you'll be delighted with this one.”

For what it's worth, the UK-based publications were a lot kinder to Columns. Mega Tech gave it an 88%, which just so happens to be the exact same score Mean Machines Sega gave it. Sega Pro actually went as high as a 90%, saying that it was “one of the best puzzlers. Pile up shapes for colours to eat your opponent, be it the computer or human. Good graphics and sound with terrifyingly addictive gameplay.” It's worth noting that Sega Pro actually preferred the Master System version, which earned a slightly higher 92%. But that's not the version we're getting on the Switch, so just scrub that out of your mind and download the Genesis version for a good time.

Golden Axe II

Genesis
Sega
1991
Review Scores
Publication Scores
Sega Force 84%
GamePro 4/5
Ace 781/1000
Sega Pro 76%
Electronic Gaming Monthly 7.25/10
Mean Machines Sega 69%
Mega Play 6/10
AVERAGE SCORE 74%
When Golden Axe launched on the Genesis in late 1989, it was heralded as one of the best arcade ports on the fledgling system. Now, two years later, the industry was in a very different state. The beat ‘em up craze made way for one-on-one fighting games, and all Genesis brawlers were destined to be completely overshadowed by the likes of Streets of Rage. Was there still a place for a straight-forward sequel like Golden Axe II? Yet again, that depends on who you talked to.

For their part, Electronic Gaming Monthly liked Golden Axe 2, but held back on the high scores. The most generous they got was an 8 out of 10 from Ed, who concluded that “if you liked the original Golden Axe, like I did, you'll enjoy this update that features new characters, magic and some nice graphics for the Genesis.” Unfortunately, the rest of the Review Crew gave it straight 7s, with Martin explaining that Golden Axe 2 “isn't a total letdown, but it shows little to no improvement over the first. The graphics detail is lousy and the animation is lacking. The only thing that was improved is the magics. Even the music isn't as good.” That sentiment led to EGM giving Golden Axe 2 an average score of 7.25 out of 10.

In case you're curious, the lowest score I could find came from EGM's sister magazine, Mega Play, who gave it a 6 out of 10. As expected, GamePro was a lot kinder to this simple beat ‘em up. Giving it a 4 out of 5, they said that “Axe II is a fun free-for-all which may not be a step forward for axoholics, but isn't a step backward, either. Any complaints are in the “too bad” department and don't overly detract from an otherwise solid slice ‘n dicer.”

Golden Axe 2 also found support from the critics in the UK, with Sega Force giving it an 84%, Sega Pro giving it a 76% and those kooks over at Ace went as high as 781. Mean Machines Sega, on the other hand, slapped a 61% on the game and called it a disappointment. They complained that it “lacked new ideas” or challenge. “if you've got the first one, don't even entertain the idea of buying the sequel.” Ouch. I say you download the game and check it out for yourself. It won't take long to beat and is reasonably fun.

Virtua Fighter 2

Genesis
Sega
1997
Review Scores
Publication Scores
Mean Machines Sega 77%
Computer & Video Games 3/5
AVERAGE SCORE 69%
When you hear the name Virtua Fighter, you probably picture the revolutionary 3D fighting game that took the arcades by storm. What you probably don't think of is the baffling 2D port Sega released in the final days of the Genesis. Unfortunately, that's the game we're getting on the Switch, whether you like it or not. Released in 1997, the most notable thing about this port is that very few magazines reviewed it at the time. All of the regular critics took a pass, including Electronic Gaming Monthly, GamePro, Die Hard Game Fan and every other American publication.

The good news is that the British were ready to pick up our slack and take one for the team. For their part, Mean Machines Sega kind of liked this version of Virtua Fighter. Giving it a 77%, Matt explained that while the Genesis still has a lot of great games, “Sega's outdated hardware has finally reached its limits. Attempting to convert AM2's classic coin op to a machine that's on its last legs was at best a dodgy idea, and the finished product shows that some things in life are best left alone.”

And then there's Computer and Video Games, who gave the game a 3 out of 5. Echoing a lot of Mean Machine's thoughts, Ed notes that “in still pictures it looks great, but, as with Street Fighter Alpha 2 on the SNES, it doesn't move all that well.” On the bright side, CVG praised the music: “One particularly excellent part of the game is the music, with the brilliant original tunes converted very well to the Mega Drive's sound chip. Unfortunately, while Virtua Fighter 2's Mega Drive is a nice novelty to own, it's just not all that good when compared to other Mega Drive games.” Yeah, this is a novelty at best. Perhaps EGM and the rest of the magazines had the right idea by ignoring this far-too-ambitious port.

Warning: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at /home4/defunctg/public_html/shows.php:1) in Unknown on line 0