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Freeze Frame
How to Make An Impression
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on March 07, 2005   |   Episode 49 (Show Archive)  

   

Although the Beasties look real good in NBA Street V3, we can't help but notice how old and middle aged they look!
The readers of this site expect a lot from the writing staff, they demand witty stories and ideas you don't see anywhere else. But sometimes there's a story that seems like it would fit, but it doesn't. As hard as I try it seems like there's no way to make it funny, interesting, or up to the standards our readers expect. So instead of going about and writing a boring episode of Freeze Frame you'll forget about the moment you stop reading, I've decided to pull you into the process and explain our thought process.

But in order to assure that you'll stick around for the whole episode, I've decided to draft three New York rappers who have not only been around since the 1980s, but also influenced a whole generation of musicians. We're talking about the one, the only, the Beastie Boys ... who seem to have a penchant for arcade-style basketball games.

See, when we first heard the news that the Beasties were going to be in Electronic Art's

We were going to post a picture of the Beastie Boys in NBA Jam TE, but having all three pictures be their likeness might be overdoing it!
NBA Street V3 I couldn't help but be reminded of their stint in Midway's NBA Jam. In a lot of ways the NBA Street series has become the spiritual successor to the Jam series, a fact that is only solidified by the appearance of Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock.

It's this kind of thing that the Freeze Frame was made for, and I have been trying to work it into an article for weeks now. But there's nothing funny about the story, nothing I can make fun of. This seems especially ironic when I consider the fact that I'm trying to write and article about three aging white rappers, you'd think the jokes would just be flowing out of me. But I'm sad to

Here the Beastie Boys show their appreciation for Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary.
say, there is nothing inherently funny or even interesting about the fact that the Beastie Boys are in the two best arcade-style basketball games of all time.

So why even write an article? Why not just focus my attention on other topics and issues that are more humorous? Simple, stories about celebrities get big numbers! No really, it's true. We did an article about That 70's Show actor Ashton Kutcher and our numbers went through the roof, thanks in large part to a number of Ashton fansites that linked us and suggested the site to their friends. Is it too much to ask for the same success from a story about the Beastie Boys? Even if it is a boring behind the scenes ramblefest that no proper print magazine would be desperate enough to publish.

But even if this little diatribe isn't enough to get the attention of Beastie Boy fansites, you still have to admit that it's pretty damn cool that they would make the transition from NBA Jam to NBA Street. But one question, where's Sonic Youth? And what about Bill and Hilary Clinton??
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