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On Running Feuds
100 Feuds Later
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on April 03, 2006   |   Episode 100 (Show Archive)  

   

Hey look everybody it's our Fifth Birthday party and you're our guest of honor ... hey wait a minute, who the heck invited Paris Hilton to this thing??
Would you believe that Defunct Games, the site you know and love, has been around for more than 1,825 days? That's five years of feuds, fake games, and opinionated content. This very site you are looking at right now has seen some highs and lows, we've been through staff changes and redesigns, but here we are stronger than ever five years after we started. But today is about more than just anniversaries, you see today we are seeing Defunct Games' longest running show finally hit a milestone. Today the On Running Feuds hit Episode 100 ... and we're here to celebrate!

Over the last few months I've taken suggestions on what to do for our 100th episode, after all this is a really big deal. If we were a TV show we would be able to get the Feuds into syndication. 100 Feuds is nothing to sneeze at, it's a large number that even I'm impressed by. So what are we going to do? Over the next five pages I am going to take a look back at every single Feud we've ever done and review them one at a time. You are about to have a front row seat for a history lesson that takes us all the way back to April 1, 2001! Learn the dirty secrets about each of the 100 Feuds! This is your chance to get caught up with every single On Running Feud we've posted (some better than others).

Over the next five pages we are going to do our best to give you and idea of what was going through our minds when we wrote each of the articles. Although I have done everything I can to make each of these reviews unique and interesting, there may come a time when some of them start to run together. That, unfortunately, is the kind of thing you can expect from a story like this. But don't let me run you off, I am sure you will find enough content in this Feud to keep you interested for many, many minutes. Thank you for supporting Defunct Games all these years and I welcome you to our gigantic 100th On Running Feud! Let the games begin ...


Our first article was pretty much the last article to talk about the Nintendo 64!
Episode 1: To Wage a 64-Bit Coup!
Wow, so we're actually going to do this. If we're going to start anywhere we might as well begin with Episode 1. This is To Wage a 64-Bit Coup, the very first article posted on Defunct Games back on April 1, 2001. This is not a very good article. It's short, it's pointless, and it isn't very original. But the thinking at the time was that I wanted to have an article that compared the systems we were covering (which included the Jaguar) with a system that was still fresh. Remember, this was posted in early 2001, half a year before the GameCube had been released. The idea here was to show off what the 64-Bit Jaguar started off with compared to the Nintendo 64, another 64-Bit system that failed to win the next generation battle. This is just not a very good article, but we were learning ... our Feuds have improved a lot since April 1, 2001. In Retrospect: D-

Episode 2: Will the Real Raiden Please Stand Up
There are a lot of terrible articles on Defunct Games, and this is one of the worst. Not only is it a completely pointless article that probably shouldn't be remembered, but it has the single worst name of all of the Feuds. Will the Real Raiden Please Stand Up? What am I, Eminem? That title must have taken me all of thirty seconds to think up, and I've been apologizing ever since. I would love to say that this is the worst article on Defunct Games, but I'm sure in the next five pages we'll find something even worse. The only reason you would want to read this article is if you wanted to see a picture of Raiden (the arcade game), Raiden (from Fatal Fury), or Raiden (from Mortal Kombat). Just awful. Sorry for this article, guys. In Retrospect: F

Episode 3: Ryo or Kyo - Who is the King of Fighters?
This is yet another example of Defunct Games trying something out and failing miserably. The only reason I can think of

Hey Namco, maybe you can take a page out of Capcom's playbook and in the next Tekken sequel give us more than two new characters!
for doing this article was to show how many games these two characters were in. Oddly enough, I remember this article ending differently. The original ending featured a tiebreaker with SNK vs. Capcom: Card Fighters Clash determining who the winner was. This was actually the best part of the show; I have no idea where it went. If you're a die hard SNK fan, I ask you politely not to read this article. In Retrospect: D+

Episode 4: Sega and Namco's Big Adventure
So this article was actually supposed to be three feuds in one. Each of the parts were supposed to play out over a few days, all while resolving the Sega vs. Namco feud. Five years later we're left with a page that has three sections featuring obvious (and non-researched) conclusions. This was yet another attempt to bring two companies together and have them battle it out. The original idea of On Running Feuds was that we would revisit our Feuds when there was something else to talk about, giving people more of a reason to go back and re-read older stories. We have since decided against doing that. It's interesting to see how much has changed since we posted this article, though. Both companies may still be releasing arcade games, but there's no doubt that Sega and Namco have decided to focus more attention on the console market. In Retrospect: C-

Episode 5: The Great RPG War
At the time of its release The Great RPG War was relevant. Unfortunately, since then Square (now Square-Enix) decided to add a few more chapters. This article was about the companies that Square screwed over, and what happened after that. As we all know, these days Square-Enix supports all three of the major companies, even if the PlayStation is the one getting all of the big titles. This is still an interesting article to go back and read, but it's clear from the beginning that it's out of date. These days that is less of a problem, since the Feuds are more opinion than hard news ... but if we're going to talk about all of the Feuds then we're going to have to talk about the outdated ones, too. In Retrospect: B-


If there's one thing we've learned in the last five years it's that Sonic should not be 3D!
Episode 6: Keeping Your Rare Portables Straight
When I was first hired at GamePen the then editor, Dan Clarke, asked me one question to determine how much I knew about the history of video games. That question was: "What was the portable game system Sega made that also played Sega Genesis games?" All I had to do was link this article and the job was mine. Unfortunately, pretty much everybody else will find this article to be lame and uninformative. Heck, at this point, the article doesn't even have any pictures. It's more of the type of thing you might expect from a Wikipedia entry, it's just information about two different systems. If I were doing this article now I would probably tie the systems together based on their ability to play console games. But I wasn't thinking that way five years ago. In Retrospect: C

Episode 7: Mario & Sonic - Different, But Similar
Now that I think about it, Mario and Sonic are different, but different. They may have been 2D platformers, but so was every other video game in the early 1990s. This article holds up remarkably well, it even features a colorful layout that compares these two mascot characters. You'll find a few other Feuds that compare two items, but none are as colorful and fun to read as this. It's a shame really, if all of the early Feuds were this fun we might have stuck with this design. It's probably worth noting that there are a few mistakes found on this page, including the fact that Nintendo didn't actually develop the Mario learning game. It's also worth mentioning that this article was another write-up that was supposed to be added to. As the years went on I was going to go back and update Mario & Sonic, but after about a year I decided that it would be best to let each article stand as-is. Sometimes I wonder how much better this article would have been if I had added to it. Who cares, it's still a great article that's worth reading. In Retrospect: B+

Episode 8: Columbine Parents vs. the Game Industry
This Columbine article is a good precursor to the types of shows you currently see on Defunct Games. But make no mistake about it; this article is not nearly as good as later shows that tackled weighty political topics. For one thing, it's all over the board. This article never really determines what it wants to say, it just repeats the talking points you've been hearing for

I know it doesn't look very safe here, but trust me it's safer than being in that musty courtroom!
ten years. One thing you'll probably notice about these early Feuds is that almost all of them have either an "&" or a "vs." in the name. Years later when I went back and looked at the early names it was this Columbine Parents vs. the Game Industry article that made me realize that using "vs." in the title was boring and I could do better. Oh, and before I forget, the original text for this article featured a truly tasteless link to a website that (if you searched around for it) featured a gruesome beheading. It had nothing to do with video game violence, but did help the article stand out in my mind (even if I was the only one that saw it). In Retrospect: C+

Episode 9: A New King of the Monsters
You have to give me credit; A New King of the Monsters was one of the only articles to talk about Perry Mason! In fact, since running this article I've seen other sites make references to King of the Monsters and the Godzilla movie, King of the Monsters. Is it because of me? Absolutely not! This article is horrible, it's something we were toying with early on that would feature two people fighting it out to see who was the bigger man. Lately Electronic Gaming Monthly has taken this idea and made it much better ... but we did it first, and this terrible article is proof. But dude, it's Perry Mason!! In Retrospect: C-


Why does Midway keep releasing these Rampage games? They haven't change them in more than a decade. Just leave the big apes to Peter Jackson!
Episode 10: When One Rampage Isn't Enough
So here is the second Feud we featured in our King of All Monsters Weekend, a special that saw us review all of the Monster-related Neo Geo games. Though not technically connected to the SNK titles, Rampage was certainly a big influence for the King of the Monsters series and deserved to be included in the weekend. Like Perry Mason in Episode 9, this Feud decided to look at entertainment most modern gamers have long forgotten. And leave it to When One Rampage Isn't Enough to debunk one of the biggest misconceptions about Night Trap. But still, I hate this lay out and overall it's not an interesting read. Pass it. In Retrospect: C-

Episode 11: No Point in Two Goro's
Talk about your short article! There's more text in this review than the actual article itself! This is one of the few Feuds where instead of showing two pictures I opted to just PhotoShop the characters into the same game. This was part of the Capcom vs. SNK 2 Special we did around the launch of the Dreamcast version of that Capcom classic. Of all of the articles in that special (and there are quite a few, it's well worth reading) this is probably the worst. It's a shame Goro wasn't a Capcom character, this article might have made more sense. If there's one thing you

I promise, this will be the absolute last time we talk about Mr. Mister. Even if I have a really good reason to use them again I promise you I won't!
will find about the new Defunct Games, it's that all of our articles are longer and more interesting. This article is worth checking out, if only to see the size difference between the two Goros! In Retrospect: C

Episode 12: Heavy D's New Tattoo
And we're back to this terrible layout. You might have noticed that these articles sport different names, titles that involved some real thought. Okay, maybe not a lot of thought, but some nevertheless. This is one of those articles that just hit me when playing SNK's classic fighters, it made me wonder why nobody else had written a story about these two guys with the same name. Well, looking back at it now I can tell you that the reason nobody wrote that article is because it wasn't very interesting. I hate this layout and there's no reason to talk about the rapper Heavy D. And seriously, that other Heavy D looks like he weighs 120 lbs, who the heck would name him Heavy D? In Retrospect: C-

Episode 13: Mr. Big's Other Career
You think Heavy D was bad? At least Heavy D was still releasing albums when I wrote that album, the same could not be said about Mr. Big! And what am I doing writing about the SNK character Mr. Big? Mr. Big is the name of just about every bad main boss in those 1980s brawlers, there's no reason for me to do this article at all. But if I'm going to find something good about this article it

It's great to the Boondocks on TV, but most of the really good stuff is still located in the comic strip!
would be that it's probably the only video game article to mention the 1980s hair band, Mr. Big. Too bad SNK didn't have a character named Mr. Mister! In Retrospect: C-

Episode 14: Boondocks vs. Grand Theft Auto III
We're back to names with "vs." in the title! But Boondocks vs. Grand Theft Auto III manages to overcome a tragic name by offering a half dozen video game-related comic strips. These days everybody is doing a web comic, but not Defunct Games. People coming to Defunct Games looking for a comic strip have only one choice, and that is this Feud right here. And I would also like to add that we were well ahead of the curve on this one. When we posted this article most people hadn't heard of Aaron McGruder's controversial comic, but now that it has its own show it is quickly becoming a household name. This is one of the best early articles we posted, but not because of anything we did. I feel the comic strip speaks for itself, and that's exactly what I wanted it to do. In Retrospect: A

Episode 15: Kirby on the Television
Oh Jesus, why won't this layout die?? We're back to that old (lame) layout where we compare two completely unrelated things and find a winner. Unfortunately if your name is Kirby, than chances are you've already lost! But outside of doing this Kirby-centric Feud how else would I bring Frasier up?? This is one NBC's finest sitcoms, probably the one show on the channel to reference so many obscure (and high culture) pieces of entertainment. Looking back at it now I wish I had done more with this story, but there's not a whole lot I can do about that now. Actually, while I have you looking at the article perhaps you can explain to me what is up with that hair? Was he doing his best impression of Kelsey Grammar's Simpsons' character, Side Show Bob?? Or is that American Idol's Justin, the loser that would go on to "sing" in From Justin to Kelly? Speaking of which, expect to hear me talk more about From Justin to Kelly in the next few pages! In Retrospect: C-

Episode 16: Sonic CD vs. Die Hard Game Fan
Like the Columbine article we talked about earlier, this Sonic CD vs. Die Hard Game Fan write-up is very indicative of the types of Feuds we currently run. While looking back through my old magazines for inspiration (something I do several times a week) I found that Game Fan had given the original Sonic CD three 100% scores, they named it as

Part of me thinks it's kind of sad that Eddie Murphy's best parts have come from him as an donkey!
one of the best games ever made. But only a couple issues later they re-reviewed the American version (which was different in music ONLY) and turned those 100s into 70s! Music can make a game, but is it enough to take a score from a perfect 100% to a 73%?? I think not, and I still stand by that. I've had a chance to discuss this with the people who worked on Game Fan at the time, but they stand by their scores. I agree that some points should have been taken off for the alternate music ... but docking it 27% is just offensive! I have a hunch this is something I will stand by for the rest of my life. In Retrospect: B+

Episode 17: The Battle for Shrek
I had to re-read this article just to remember why I wrote it. The Battle for Shrek makes almost no sense now, it is the type of thing you might expect on another site (perhaps Defunct Fast Food), but not Defunct Games! And not only that, but look at how many times I misspell Xbox! I didn't even give it the hyphen that most people do; I simply turned it into two words ("X Box"). It's hard to believe that Taco Bell was the company promoting the Xbox early on, how things have changed. Don't quote me on this, but I am pretty sure this is the last time either Burger King or Taco Bell were mentioned again (until now). At least we weren't featuring articles with that creepy Burger King guy, I have a hunch most of you would have un-bookmarked Defunct Games had I done that! In Retrospect: C+

Episode 18: Sega vs. UbiSoft - Fight of the Slogans
Can you believe it, this is our first E3 Feud! This is the type of idea that pops into your head after three days of non-stop walking and game playing. Beyond seeing famous people and playing new games (and systems) that aren't out yet, a big reason people go to E3 is to pick up the shwag the companies give out. The stress reliever found in this article is a perfect example of the kind of game crap these companies give out, all of which comes back here and clutters up the Defunct Games office. But I couldn't let it go when I saw Ubi's slogan, "Play to the Next Level," which is just a little too close to "Welcome to the Next Level," Sega's old Genesis-era slogan. Everybody on the show floor got a good chuckle out of it, but certainly these people had to know what they were doing. This is the type of article you don't see on any other websites, and that's why this gets a high score in my books. In Retrospect: A-


Not all of Sonic Youth's albums are accessible for new fans, if you've never bought one of thier albums then Sonic Nurse is a GREAT place to start! Just be ready to be rocked!
Episode 19: NBA Jam vs. Sonic Youth
Few people know this, but before I worked on Defunct Games I created a Sonic Youth fansite to improve my HTML and writing skills. Shouting Poetic Truths of High School Journal Keepers kept me busy for much of my early 20s, allowing me to interact with other fans of noise-rock ("no wavers") and keep tabs on one of my favorite bands. This NBA Jam article is one of the ideas I brought over from the old website, the only difference being the pictures and how much I fleshed the story out. For nearly a decade I have been looking for the answer to why Acclaim would include Sonic Youth but not put their real birthdays. For what it's worth, Sonic Youth's most recent album (Sonic Nurses) is really an amazing album, well worth picking up! Just be happy that there aren't more Sonic Youth-related articles on Defunct Games! In Retrospect: B

Episode 20: Your Way or My Way of the Samurai
Oh come on, that's a funny title! Too bad it's in that old format. Sigh. Your Way or My Way of the Samurai is the type of article that I usually would be proud of, if only because I am doing my part promoting movies I hope people would watch. Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai is one of my favorite movies, a fantastic tale of love and revenge. And there's so much great humor in it, especially with the Wu Tang Clan-loving old guys. And it has Forest Whitaker, who has been amazing in everything from the Crying Game to the Shield. If there's one thing Defunct Games strives to do it's inform you about good movies you might have missed, and Ghost Dog is one of the best! If only it wasn't in that blasted layout I would like this article more. It's a shame really. In Retrospect: C-
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