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Cover Critic
Sometimes it Doesn't Pay to Wake Up!!
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on May 01, 2002   |   Episode 33 (Show Archive)  

   
A lot has changed since the last time we featured an episode of the Cover Critic. Both Sony and Nintendo have released new portable game systems, long time companies have shut their doors forever, and the world has been reintroduced to a certain lawyer named Jack Thompson. Heck, even this site you're looking at has changed in many ways. So maybe it's time we take another serious look at video game covers, letting you know which ones we like and which we hate. After two years I invite you to embrace a brand new Cover Critic, one that isn't afraidto tell you what we really think. So enjoy five new covers and one new look!

Gauntlet: Dark Legacy
I hope you aren't eating, but I'm afraid we're going to start this Cover Critic with what could be the ugliest cover of the year so far. I don't know if it's just me, but are those the WORST 3D polygon characters you've seen on a video game cover? Even the Virtua Fighter Remix cover had better graphics. And not only is the character design ugly, but the adventurers are all squished together. Considering the legacy of fairly good Gauntlet covers, this is quite a disappointment. In fact, there's very little good I can say about it. As far as I can tell, the only possitive to be found is the green in the picture matches the usually mis-matched green logo on the top. Good show. But when that's the best you can say about a cover, you know something is seriously wrong.


Dark Cloud: Greatest Hits
Holy Crap!! What the heck is this? I don't know what Sony is thinking, but that red top (as opposed to Sony's usual black) has got to go. I thought the GameCube design was lame and the Xbox color was stupid ... well, this puts both to shame! Apart from the horrible Greatest Hits top, this cover never was any good. I just get the feeling people will look at this and say "hmm, if the game looks this stupid it's not worth $20". But for goodness sakes, do something about that top bar color!!


Smashing Drive
Sadly this has been the best cover so far ... but then again, that's not saying anything. So we have the arcade hit, er, arcade success, er ... well, the arcade port to Smashing Drive. For anybody who hasn't played this game, just by looking at this cover you can tell that it's Crazy Taxi, just Crazier. That's right, it's Smashing Drive, and the picture is both ugly and crude. I'm not saying the Crazy Taxi covers were any better, but at least those games were entertaining. But come on, who does this game target?


Burnout
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch. And you know, it would be much more impressive if they had staged this with real vehicles. Where is the money for cover production?? What are you, a bunch of cheap-skates? Well, regardless, this is a pretty funny cover, if you're a fan of the movie Crash. What the heck is going on here, there's not a lot of burning going on here. And something tells me that there's a disclaimer somewhere on the package that states that "kids should not try this at home". Also, did I mention that the art isn't very attractive?


Spider-Man
So, we have the single best cover of the week. It's not perfect, but compared to what else we've seen today it will have to do. I like the design of the picture, very Twisted Metal Black. And I won't even mention how the green top clashes with the rest of the picture. Frankly, after a set like we've had today, it's nice to see a familiar face like Spider-Man. So, if you're lining up to see Spidey (and you're beating up the people waiting for Star Wars), then this is for you.


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