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Cover Critic
For Every Jackie Chan Fan!!
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on November 11, 2001   |   Episode 18 (Show Archive)  

A lot has changed since the last time we featured an episode of the Cover Critic. Both Sony and Nintendo have released new portable game systems, long time companies have shut their doors forever, and the world has been reintroduced to a certain lawyer named Jack Thompson. Heck, even this site you're looking at has changed in many ways. So maybe it's time we take another serious look at video game covers, letting you know which ones we like and which we hate. After two years I invite you to embrace a brand new Cover Critic, one that isn't afraidto tell you what we really think. So enjoy five new covers and one new look!

Dead Or Alive 3
As this is the first review for an X Box cover, I figured I would spend a couple of seconds and talk about the box design itself. Now, don't get me wrong, the ripped off PlayStation 2 (top black bar with the system name) isn't a bad idea ... but let's face it, that BIG GREEN MARK on the right hand side is just obnoxious. Regardless, the rest of this cover is a mess, too. Do you recall the simple, attractive Dead Or Alive 2: Hardcore cover? Well, this chucks that out the window and gives us a mangled mess of pictures editted to make one heck of an ugly picture. Looks more like a Tekken cover than anything, but no matter, the game is still fun.

Jackie Chan Adventures
Not since Burn Hollywood Burn: An Allen Smithee Film has Jackie Chan looked so bad. I'm assuming this is a saturday morning cartoon that has made its way to the Game Boy Advance (and PlayStation 2, so we have another cover to look forward to). The art isn't so bad, but if this is what Jackie Chan has been reduced to, then perhaps it's time to put the kabash on any future Rush Hour sequels. Jackie, I feel so bad for you.

Gradius Galaxies
One of the best examples of old school gaming I can think of ... and it's good to see they haven't upgraded the cover art any. Sure it's an old school cover, sure it brings back good memories, but c'mon, couldn't they have thought of ANYTHING new. Regardless, this is a pretty dull and boring cover all things considered, and outside of people that remember the classic games, few are going to pick it up based on this cover!!

Do you remember the good old days when 3DO fans were anxiously looking forward to the M2? Well, who'd have thought that Cubix would be what the future held. This looks like it's ripped from the saturday morning cartoons just like Jackie Chan (see above), but I have a funny feeling this is an original. It's got a big mech, and for a mech fan that's all you can ask sometimes ... but what age is the target audience? My guess, 8.

Few covers can actually make something like jet skiing seem boring. But Splashdown (no, not the new Wrestling game) does that, while still saving some for a sequel. Here Atari goes the simple route, but the thing is, they should have read Defunct Games and found out exactly what "simple" means. Even though you can't see this guys face, I'm sure you can imagine what he's thinking. Better luck next time.



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