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Introducing: Shit My Folks Say About E3
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on June 03, 2011   |   Episode 101 (Show Archive)  

   


Full E3 coverage will take place June 6 - 9 ... assuming my parents figure out how to work their phones!
After spending a decade covering the pomp and circumstance of E3, I've finally had enough. I'm sick of waiting in lines, paying five dollars for bottled water and being underwhelmed by press conferences. I would like to say goodbye to constant barrage of free t-shirts, the rushing from one appointment to the next and how I also seem to miss something important. This year I want to sit back and relax and let somebody else do the work for me.

As luck would have it, my recently-retired folks were already in the market for a vacation far away from blustery Washington State. With some fancy wordplay, I was able to convince these two sixty-somethings to cover E3 for me while peacefully watch the festivities from afar. Without having to deal with the noisy crowds and in-your-face PR blitz, I reckon this will be my most relaxing E3 yet.

Starting next Monday you can expect to see live E3 updates from my mom and dad. These updates will not only be archived on Defunct Games, but you can also get up to the minute coverage via our Twitter feed (@DefunctGames). Either way you take it, this year's exclusive E3 coverage will be wildly different from what you find on 1up, GameSpot and IGN. That I can guarantee!
Meet My Folks

Paul Lachel: Photographer, musician, handyman, mechanic and lover of movies. My father is all of these things. In the last 62 years he has worn a lot of badges, but none are as prestigious as attending the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Of course, he'll disagree with that. He'll reminisce for hours about all the amazing events in his life, from the birth of his first son to the day he got married. He'll tell you all about the amazing world events that took place in his lifetime. And if you give him an hour, he'll tell you why Lars von Trier is a better filmmaker than Steven Spielberg. I have a hunch that he's going to come back from Los Angeles a changed man. That's what previewing five dozen mostly brown first-person shooters does to a man.

Paul's Goals: To recognize at least one celebrity he's heard of. To convince Harmonix to make Frank Zappa: Rock Band (he would settle for SingStar: Bjork). To play as many games as possible ... unless they have anything to do with poker. To convince all of E3 that Lars von Trier was joking when he claimed to be a Nazi.


Nancy Lachel: A baker all her life, Nancy Lachel enjoys the simple things. She's a fan of walking on the beach, enjoying a stiff margarita, watching shows with aliens and not noticing a difference between my 8-bit Nintendo Entertainment System and the games of today. Seriously, she still insists that Gears of War looks like the first Super Mario Bros. When she's not making me want to pull my hair out of my head, she can be found completely ignoring all social networking sites, computers, blu-ray players and anything else she deems too complicated to work. With her limited knowledge of games and technology, Nancy is the perfect person to report back from E3!

Nancy's Goals: To finally admit that modern games don't look anything like the original Super Mario Bros. To find and interview J.Allard (or, as she likes to call him, Moby). To tell the booth babes to put on some clothes and tone down the make-up. To finally, once and for all, figure out which major electronics company makes each game system!

Upcoming Schedule








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