Okay, I chose this advertisement not because of the crazy doctor with huge eyes and solar-powered calculator. I didn't decide to make fun of the four licensed games released by Acclaim. I didn't even choose this advertisement because of the ridiculousness of the product. No, instead I chose this advertisement because I hate it when game advertisements suggest that they have an "ultra real feel." Obviously that can't be true with this product; it's an LCD display that gives you 1 frame of animation, so the idea of an "ultra real feel" seems to be thrown out the window.

But let's dig a little deeper. Do we really want an "ultra real feel"? Wouldn't that mean that you wouldn't be able to jump real high in Super Mario Bros.? And wouldn't that spell the death of double jumps, throwing fireballs, and taking three dozen bullets? An "ultra real feel" would ruin every game ... well, every game except sports games. And heck, even sports games aren't as realistic as they could be. Nobody really wants that "ultra real feel" in their games, because it would make everything boring and lame.

Speaking of boring and lame, is there anybody on the planet that actually wants to play LCD versions of T2, Smash TV, WWF Ready to Rumble and Bart vs. the Space Mutants? These games weren't even good when Acclaim ported them to the far superior NES, so why would anybody want to play them as a crappy LCD title? Also, how exactly does Smash TV work? The game was all about using two joysticks to shoot hundreds of small attacking enemies. But now it's just a D-pad and a button. I guess that's what passes for the "ultra real feel" these days.

FROM: She's Got the Bad Advertising