Can you survive An Unholy Return: The 31 Games of Halloween?
30 Genres of Christmas
Extreme Sports
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on December 06, 2009   |   Episode 11 (Show Archive)  


It's that time of year again, a time when Defunct Games celebrates the holidays by posting a daily theme article that should inform and delight gamers all over the world. This year we're counting down the days until Christmas by looking at 30 different video game genres. From the most popular games to the tiniest niche titles, everything fits into a genre and we're going to be there to shed absolutely no new information about that genre in this month-long feature. Join us as we celebrate this joyous season with the 30 Genres of Christmas!

I'm afraid that Tony Hawk Ride may be the game that puts this floundering franchise out of its misery for good!
How Do You Know You Are Playing an Extreme Sports Game? While it would be easier to lump Extreme Sports into a catch-all Sports category, there are enough differences to warrant a full sub-section. For one thing, you'll often find that even non-sports gamers enjoy playing through Extreme Sports titles. Are you the type of person who can relate to Tony Hawk more than John Madden? You aren't alone. Is the game you're playing all about throwing your virtual character down a mountain? Are you all about pulling off superhuman tricks on a skateboard? Is the radio DJ ruining your day? Yeah, you're definitely playing an Extreme Sports game!

Patron Saint: The invention of ESPN2.

Typical Story: How extreme can you be? Can you beat all of the pros? Of course you can, because you're an idiot savant who just picked up a skateboard and was able to learn all of the gnarly tricks in only a few days. Forget that these

You would think that SSX Blur would have soured my taste for SSX, but it hasn't!
pros have been practicing their whole lives, your few minutes is enough to show them up, get your face on a magazine cover and turn you into a worldwide celebrity. Way to go, bro!

What the In-Game Announcer Would Say: "Yo boooooooooooooy!! It's the illenest, chillinest DJ Mr. Mixmaster Funkapotomus himself, DJ Foot In Mouth. I'm here to get you psyched, hyped, jazzed, spazzed, amazed and de-glazed. We're talking about rhymes so fresh that I haven't even cut the umbilical cord yet! We're taking it to gross places just to prove to you that this is the most annoying, obnoxious, over-the-top I can be. So get on that ride, Clyde, and show us what you gotz. Do you dig? Yeah, bro, YOU dig!"

Not an Extreme Sports Game: Even though there's nothing extreme about Razor scooters, Razor Freestyle Scooter is indeed an Extreme Sports game. It pains me to say

Now that I know that fake plastic controls are involved, I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel to BMX XXX!
that. What's even more offensive to my sensibilities is that something like Burnout Paradise (a game about driving as fast as you can ON THE EDGE) isn't considered an Extreme Sport. It's times like these that it makes me wish that there were no genres at all. But who am I to go against the norms of society? I didn't create these genres, I'm just on the frontlines reporting them.

Then vs. Now? This question comes at an interesting time. All this week I have been playing through the insufferable Tony Hawk Ride, a horrifically disfigured retooling of what used to be one of the best Extreme Sports franchises. While I hate to have the dismay over Activision's misstep cloud my judgment, it's really the only thing I can think about. Couple that with my disappointment over a lack of a real next-generation SSX game and I'm starting to get disillusioned with today's Extreme Sports games. Even this generation's best Extreme Sports games (Stoked, Skate, etc.) pale in comparison to what we saw on the PlayStation 2. It's not too late to turn this boat around, but for now I'm definitely siding with the older games.


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