Can you survive An Unholy Return: The 31 Games of Halloween?
29 Controls of Christmas
Nintendo GameCube Control
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on December 17, 2008   |   Episode 21 (Show Archive)  


It's that time of year again, a time when Defunct Games celebrates the holidays by posting a daily theme article that should inform and delight gamers all over the world. This year we're taking a look at 29 of the best known video game controls of all time, from the Nintendo Entertainment System to the Nintendo Wii remote. We're going to review each and every one of them, and then give you a short haiku. Join us as we celebrate this joyous season with the 29 Controls of Christmas!

Apparently some of the GameCube colors were picked out by those suffering from color blindness!
Brief Synopsis: So far in our adventure we've used Nintendo's uncomfortable control (NES), their overly complicated control (Super NES) and then their bat shit crazy control (Nintendo 64), so what are we going to get with the GameCube? Would you believe a surprisingly normal looking game pad? It's true, compared to the Nintendo 64's terrible control, the GameCube looks downright normal. It has the PlayStation-style legs, four faces buttons, a pair of analog sticks and a very small D-pad. But don't get too excited, because it doesn't completely forget about the N64's pad. Like that three-legged monstrosity, this GameCube control has some hidden buttons that may or may not be used. After seeing how bad the Xbox control is, this GameCube control manages to come in right between the best and worst of that generation. The pad does have some glaring problems, including analog sticks that don't feel very accurate, buttons that are in all shapes and sizes, and that aforementioned hidden button. Why does Nintendo keep putting buttons where they don't belong? Either way, this GameCube control was a strong come back after the disaster that was the Nintendo 64.

The Style: Believe it or not, it's another Nintendo control that this GameCube pad apes. While some may be quick to compare this to the PlayStation 2's DualShock control, the truth is that it more closely resembles the Virtual Boy control. While there are some striking differences, the two controls have very similar shapes. The style of the control is fine, but I do have a problem with the button layout. For one thing, there seems to be a giant

Ten dollars says that X-tina doesn't even know what she's holding right now!
green button, a tiny red button, and then two other buttons that seem to be in different shapes. What's that about? And why is the second analog stick yellow? This whole pad just seems awfully random. At least it doesn't have a third leg.

What the 23 Year Old Me Would Say: Hey, this thing looks like my PlayStation 2 control. GameCube, eh? That name is just as bad as PlayStation. In fact, all of these systems have stupid names these days. Xbox? What's that about? Even Sega's console was forced to carry the name Dreamcast, what were they thinking? What I want are systems with cool names, like the Phantom or something. I can't believe nobody has made a system called the Phantom, that's such an awesome name. Hey developer person, get on that right now, I want to start hearing about a system called the Phantom. And it should never come out, because that would be ironical and stuff.

What I Would Say Now: You know, I still kind of want a system called the Phantom, when are they going to deliver that thing? Looking back at this GameCube controller I'm surprised at how inoffensive it is. The problem is that it's sandwiched between two bizarro Nintendo controls, one we've already talked about and one we'll get to sooner or later. I'll be honest with you, I still use this when playing the new Super Smash Bros. game, and just about everything else that will support it. This is a good pad, even if the buttons do seem randomly placed.

The GameCube Control Haiku:
Big N strikes again.
But this control is normal.
Random colors/shapes!


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