Defunct Games vs. The PlayStation Launch

It's SimCity meets Disneyland. By 1995 home console gamers were fully aware of the simulation games hitting the PC. But Theme Park is not the next SimCity; it's an overly complicated mess that ultimately fails on several levels. The biggest problem is that it's far too complicated, making you micromanage down to how much salt goes on the vender fries. Worse yet, the game never establishes an end game. You spend much of your time developing your Six Flags-esque park, but by the time you have the money and respect, the game becomes limiting and no fun to play. That's the problem most SimCity-clones face, the more success you have the worse the game is. Making everything worse are the console controls, which don't have the nuance of a keyboard and mouse. Theme Park is only fun for a few hours, but that's enough to give a tepid recommendation. If the right team got involved with a remake, Theme Park could be on the same level as Maxis' classic sims.

In a push to make everything three-dimensional, nobody ever stopped to wonder if they should. Sure you can turn one of the greatest puzzle games into a dizzying 3D PlayStation game, but should you? Judging by 3D Lemmings, the answer is a resounding "NO!" 3D Lemmings tries its hardest to transplant the fun of 2D Lemmings (normally called, "Lemmings") into this tragic 3D world. The problem is obvious, most of the gameplay elements of the traditional Lemmings games were grounded in fuzzy 2D logic. That is, you can burrow your way through a cave without the mountain falling. But when that logic comes in contact with the freedom of 3D, all bets are off. There was nothing wrong with the original Lemmings, it's a game that shouldn't have been dragged kicking and screaming into the third dimension. I guess that's why nobody remembers this terrible launch game.

Talk about a completely unnecessary port, Total Eclipse Turbo makes even less sense on the PlayStation than the 3DO. Let's face it, the 3DO was not a console known for pushing impressive polygonal graphics. That's why this cheesy space shooter uses a lot of sprites and poor scaling effects. The good news is that the graphics are a lot better than you might expect, especially if you've played through the 3DO original. The controls are also good, making this StarFox-inspired shooter easy to play. The problem is that there's nothing to do. The enemies are few and far between, the levels are beyond repetitive and I might stab somebody if I ever have to hear that looping song again. But even if you can get past these complaints, you're still left with a two-year old 3DO port that fails to get even the basics right. With Warhawk being released at roughly the same time, there is zero reason to go back to Total Eclipse Turbo.

The original Twisted Metal is a real mess of a game. The character balance is way off, the levels are filled with bugs and there isn't much content in this original game. Yet despite all of its imperfections, Twisted Metal still manages to be edge-of-your-seat exciting every time you play it. This is due in large part to the colorful cast of violent criminals and psychopaths. You could always tell how far gone these characters were based on their vehicle of choice. Take special agent Stone, a fairly normal guy piloting a fairly normal car (the Lamborghini Coutach). Sweet Tooth, on the other hand, is so out-of-his-mind crazy that he's taking down the competition in an ice cream truck dressed as a clown. Never before had we seen such a sadistic line-up, it was the Mortal Kombat of racing games. But Twisted Metal wasn't a racing game, it was an all-out multiplayer competition that was more Doom than Ridge Racer. This game works because it used the original PlayStation pad perfectly, not trying to turn it into a complicated keyboard and mouse. It may not hold up as well as wipEout or Jumping Flash!, but I defy anybody to play this and not get sucked in. There's a reason we're still talking about Twisted Metal fifteen years later, and it all started with this launch game.

Before going back and playing through all these launch games again, I was sure that Warhawk was going to be one of my highest recommendations. Unfortunately, the rose-colored glasses I was wearing had completely fogged my better judgment. It's easy to tell Warhawk was rushed to hit the PlayStation's launch window, it's short and lacks the polish we've come to expect. When I say the game is short, I mean that it can be completed in less than two hours. What it has going for it is an original concept and no real competition. The only other 3D shooter at the PS1's launch was Total Eclipse Turbo, and we already know where that will lead us. Warhawk has a great presentation that hints at what the PlayStation is capable of, it's just a shame there's so little game to play. Just when it looks like the action is going into high gear, the game is over and the credits roll. Still, getting to that ending sure was exciting (albeit short). Considering Sony is selling this game for only a few bucks, I say that it's worth considering. Just realize that you're spending you're money on a very limited package.

Compared to its sequels, spin-offs and remakes, this original wipEout is a little rough. The handling isn't as tight as I would like and the computer opponents are beyond cheap. Still, there's something kind of amazing about what Psygnosis was able to accomplish in a short amount of time. For one thing, the developers were able to create a fully realized world full of fake sponsorships, intriguing weapons and levels that literally defy gravity. Best of all, the game features a soundtrack unlike anything heard before in a racing game, far surpassing the overhyped Ridge Racer. Some may look at wipEout as nothing more than a better looking F-Zero, but Psygnosis (and later Sony) was able to make this franchise their own. While the recent PSP and PlayStation 3 installments are better in every way, it's still fun to go back and play the original.