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By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on March 17, 2002   |   Episode 28 (Show Archive)  

WALL OF TEXT EXPLAINED: What you're looking at is an episode of Countdown w/ Defunct Games published before 2006. As you can tell, something has gone horribly awry. I won't bore you with the technical details, but it has to do with the old layout being incompatible with the new. Eventually, we would like to retrofit these old episodes of Countdown, but that will require a significant amount of time. As Defunct Games has only a limited staff, we aren't sure when we'll have the chance to fix this article. If you absolutely need to know what this article said, get a hold of us on Twitter or leave a message in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will enjoy the episodes created post-2006.

#5 Charmy Bee ... ... not to mention Espio the Chameleon, Mighty the Armadillo, and Vector the Crocodile all from Knuckles Chaotics. It's probably not a coincidence that each character is only given a short story, and even less actual identity. They seem obviously thrown together at the last minute, and none could star in a game by themselves. That's not to say that Sega hasn't given us lame characters recently (Shadow Sonic, anybody?), but no game had THIS many silly characters in one. Thankfully Sega retired them long ago. #4 A Good South Park Game Or a good Simpsons game, for that matter. I thought companies were out of their licensing trend, but even now we get Wrestling games, Crazy Taxi rip offs, and lame Trivia competitions. And don't let me forget the Kart racing, the side scrolling games, and the first person shooters. Future tragedy? Futurama! But hey, it could be worse, it could have been a Family Guy video game. Shudder. #3 A Negative Metal Gear Solid 2 Review Not to say that Metal Gear Solid 2 is not a truly wonderful, fantastic, amazing adventure . but have you noticed how EVERYBODY seems to love the game? Oh sure, it's a great game, but even the best movies of all time have a few critics. Where is the negative Metal Gear Solid 2 review? Where is the person that hates it because you aren't always Solid Snake? Where are the people who hate it because it is like 14 hours long?? Where are these people, and why don't they write for magazines? Hmm . perhaps this IS a great game. #2 A Role Playing Gamer who only owns an N64 Oh sure, there are some great games on the Nintendo 64, but if you're a role playing gamer you might as well look elsewhere. While on the N64s last legs Nintendo released a solid Paper Mario, but that ONE role playing game, while great, is not enough to keep an adventurer happy. Perhaps these gamers exists, but you'll have to search high and low to find them. #1 Gamepark GP32 You've heard the story before, portable comes out, has a strong line up, and fails due to the GameBoy. Be it the Lynx, Game Gear, Game.Com, Neo Geo Pocket Color, or even the WonderSwan, all have gone down in a ball of fire. Now in a world of GameBoy Advance will the GP32 succeed? Perhaps, but on this St. Patrick's Day you might find it hard to locate one. And even if you do, chances are it's going to run you $180 or more. Not bad for a system with only a handful of games, none of which are worth the price you'll pay. What else can I do on Saint Patrick's Day? Well, you can get drunk on green beer. But if that doesn't sound like fun you should send your friends a Greating Card! Oh, but don't send me one, I hate those. I mean, especially if they aren't from anybody. Don't you hate that? I certainly do. Hmm ... there's a lot of anger here, perhaps I should drink. Now, where can I find green beer??


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