Mutant Rampage: Bodyslam

Mutant Rampage: Bodyslam has partly been produced by Animation Magic, the producer that made the first two dismal Zelda games (Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon & Link: The Faces of Evil) for Philips' CD-i. This is totally clear directly from the start: Mutant Rampage contains the same disgustingly animated movie sequences and cut scenes. It tries very hard to capture the same atmosphere as in the animated series of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but it's more like - to quote the eloquent Chad once more - "it's been drawn by police artists, who sketch the hero from accounts by drunken passersby ... and worked them out in Microsoft Paint."

But besides the corny title and cut scenes, Mutant Rampage isn't a bad a game as the first two Animation Magic creations. I won't say it is particular intriguing either, but it didn't really irritate me, which is always a nice treat for a CD-i game.

Mutant Rampage: Bodyslam is a beat'em'up in the same line as Double Dragon and Streets of Rage. It's the year 2068, and Mutants have taken over the Earth. For many years no humans have been able to compete against the mutants, but now a challenge from a human team called "the Naturals" has been issued. This team consists out of three playable characters: two musclemen and one woman. The one and only purpose is to kick the ass of all those mutant villains. On many places in-game it's possible to change the character you're playing with.

The graphics aren't very impressive, but not really bad either. They resemble early Sega Genesis games (especially on the cheap animation part). For the sound applies the same: just the cheesy tunes and sound effects you'd expect from a game like this. The control is fine too, quite responsive expect when you try to perform a "special move" (each character has one). That only seems to be done by luck, because half the time it won't work. The real problem is the CD-i joypad which clearly isn't made for this kind of button-bashing games, so be prepared to be plagued by some muscle cramp.

The mutant enemies you encounter deserve a special mention. Some of them are really, really sick. There's a large woman who hits you with her giant breasts, a guy who farts in your face, spitting cavemen, and some fellows who lose their head but still fight on. On the other hand they're some really annoying enemies which are just too hard to hit like some flying women and robotic man-spiders. Furthermore, this game must have some of the easiest end bosses I ever faced in a street brawler. However, the difficulty is a bit strangely adjusted overall: the first seven stages are an easy blast, and are literally scattered with 1ups, but the last three levels are too hard with too many annoying enemies which are almost impossible to hit. There is also some sloppy programming: when you lose a life it very often occurs you're taking to one of the atrocious cut scenes, though this only is suppose to happen when you lose a character! But I guess it just wouldn't be a true CD-i game if it hadn't had some bugs in it.

Except for the poorly animated and horribly dumb cut scenes, Mutant Rampage: Bodyslam is an enjoyable game for the time it takes to finish it (90 minutes to 2 hours) overall. But after that, there is really no need to ever to return to it again. The only thing it should be nominated for is 'most corny title for a video game'. "Mutant Rampage: Bodyslam" shouldn't be a bad title for a low-performance B-movie with, preferably, Jackie Chan or Steven Seagal. Or maybe Sylvester Stallone should cop the rights for an eventually upcoming Rocky VII title. You never know.