Teddy Boy

I wasn't expecting much out of this one, but I was pleasantly surprised. Teddy Boy is straight up arcade action ... the old school arcade variety, mind you. They just don't make 'em like this anymore. And people wonder why the arcade market is floundering!

The basic premise of Teddy Boy is to eliminate all the enemies on screen by shooting them. The enemies run and jump between several platforms which scroll upward infinitely. That is, there are only really about three or four levels, but you can keep jumping up and the same platforms keep regenerating. Trust me, it sounds more confusing than it actually is.

Once the enemies are defeated they turn into compressed versions of themselves which you collect for points. There are quite a number of different types of enemies, too. The first ones you encounter remind me a little of Strong Bad of Homestar Runner fame, with their wrestling costumes and little masks. Different enemies require a different strategy to be defeated. The weird floating snails need to be on the ground or else the bullets won't penetrate their shells.

Occasionally you'll find yourself in a bonus level. I guess the only real objective here is to shoot as many boxes as possible before you run out of time, as each box contains an item which is worth x amount of points.

And finally, to add a little bit more strategy to the mix, standing on the same platform for too long causes it to break and crumble beneath you, so no sneaky camping in one spot trying to win here! This feature is incorporated nicely in other ways, also. One level starts you inside a smiley-face shaped circle, and you get out of it by standing still long enough for the floor to break.

The music is okay; nothing to get excited about. And graphically, it isn't too shabby. Especially considering the year it was made. If you're looking for some good ol' arcade gameplay, you should have quite the time with Teddy Boy, no innuendo implied.