Cool Boarders Pocket

It's games like Cool Boarders Pocket that make me absolutely hate my job. This is the sort of game I wish had a better title to make fun of. Now, after several less than spectacular efforts by UEP Systems, just about every ironic joke about the name Cool Boarders has already been used.

Cool Boarders Pocket packs quite a few levels for the punch, well over the normal amount for this genre of games. How did they do it, you ask. Well, when all the levels look and play the same, and nothing really looks different between levels it tends to take up very little memory. The levels appear to have been concocted almost at random, and if you are expecting this game to fly by at a blistering rate, well, you're out of luck.

And then there's the control, that is neither responsive, nor is it set up correctly. The joystick control is almost the complete opposite that it should be (or at least should have been configurable). And even if the control was configurable, the control still doesn't go where you want it to. Oh yeah, and you run in to just about everything due to horrible turning.

Is this the worst the Neo Geo Pocket offers? Probably, this game just isn't recommended at all. Not at all.