Fighting the Year 2009 to the Death


Hopefully 2009's Zelda will be better than Twilight Princess!
Can you believe we're already a full week into 2009? It seems like just yesterday we were racing through Paradise City, shooting up the streets of Liberty City and adventuring through the world of Albion. But here we are, a whopping nine days into the New Year and all we're left with is a series of burning questions. Now that 2008 is behind us, what does that mean for the video game industry? Are more companies going to be forced to downsize or even go out of business thanks to the struggling economy? Is there really going to be a new Zelda game in 2009?

Whenever we're overloaded with questions we tend to do the rational thing, which is go to the experts. In this case our experts are none other than a motley crew of musicians, politicians and ancient Asian advice. That's right; it's time for another episode of Fight the Future, the show where we ask three know-it-alls some of the most pressing questions we face. Before you do anything, make sure and read through these twenty questions and fully take in the sage advice our panelists can offer. This time around we are asking our questions to none other than ex-Beatle John Lennon (via the John Lennon AI Project), a fortune cookie and embattled Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich. This promises to be our sauciest episode yet. So sit back and get ready to have all of the most important questions of 2009 answered for you!

John Lennon
Fortune Cookie
Rod Blagojevich
John
Lennon
Fortune
Cookie
Rod
Blagojevich
Is it true that Nintendo is bringing us a new Zelda game in 09?
"I have no idea. Perhaps I should ask you."
"You crave your lover when the two of you are apart."
"That's none of your (bleeping) business, okay?"
Will we see a Play- Station 3 price drop this year?
"Probably not."
"It's as good as money in your pocket."
"(Bleep) that, you have to pay to play."
Will Halo fans go for a real-time strategy game?
"I think they will, Cyril."
"Keep to yourself -- friendliness may make enemies."
"How the (bleep) should I know?"
Will I be able to buy Alan Wake in 2009?
"I can't say for sure right now."
"You have more work than you can handle."
"Hang loose."
Is Lego Rock Band a real game?
"Cyril, what are you doing in my kitchen?"
"Pursue your wishes aggressively."
"No. I'm not going to (bleeping) do it like that!"
Will Nintendo rediscover the hardcore market?
"Good chance."
"Love is on its way..."
"(Bleep) them."
Will Blu-ray catch on in 2009?
"It could happen."
"Please someone at work by remaining calm and impartial."
"You can't get rid of me."
Will Rockstar eventually release GTA IV's DLC on a disc?
"How should I know?"
"Love lights up your world."
"Get out of my (bleeping) face, (bleep) you!"
Is 2009 the year Capcom resurrects Strider?
Yes, I hope you're not disappointed."
"You're desperately trying to remember a dream."
"I (bleeping) hope not!"
Is 2009 the year Xbox Live goes free?
"I don't know about that, mate."
"What looks like an appealing offer may not be."
"Get out of my (bleeping) office!"
Can Sony do anything to get out of last place?
"Yeah, in 1939. It doesn't matter. I'm just here to talk about peace."
"Start a new project at work -- or start a new job altogether."
"(Bleep) them, all they were willing to give was appreciation."
Can Nintendo build on the momentum of the Wii?
"Yes, we're making a film. It's all about peace."
"The day only gets better."
"Can you help me get re-elected?"
Will another company pick up the next gen Time Splitters?
"I think so."
"Romance is likely; strike up a conversation."
"They (bleeping) better!"
Is there any chance that Midway will survive the year?
"I think so, but I'm not sure."
"Complete chores you've been avoiding for some time."
"Why do you have all of these (bleeping) questions?"
Will Nintendo introduce another gimmicky Wii accessory?
"Probably not."
"Good things are on their way."
"(Bleep) it, I'm done with this."
Will 2009 be the year EA returns to non-stop sequels?
"Sadly it's true."
"The big issues are work, career or status right now."
"There are always a few bad apples."
Will Ghostbusters be the triple-A game that Atari hopes for?
"I can't say for sure right now."
"Embrace change; don't battle it."
"They gave it a pretty good effort, maybe in the future."
Will the bad economy ultimately hurt the video game industry?
"So who are you kidding, Cyril?"
"It's not advisable to leap before you look, but that may be all you have time for."
"It's (bleeping) golden!"
Will Microsoft ever green light Gridrunner+++?
"What the heck is Gridrunner+++?"
"You work best on your own now."
"It's an extremely risky proposition."
Will Konami bring us Rock Revolution 2 this year?
"I hope so."
"Remember yesterday, but live for today."
"Turn that (bleep) off, we're done here."

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