The Real Game: Prison Tycoon for the PC.

What We Said: "There's been Theme Parks, Theme Hospitals, and more ... but now you can control every aspect of prison life in Theme Penitentiary! Where else will you be able to choose which forms of executions are allowed on your watch. Guillotine, beheading, being stoned to death ... any kind of death you wish. And you can even turn the shoulder when you see the other inmates raping the new guy. Get ready to control the activities the inmates are involved in, too. Simple license plates not good enough for you? Now you can have them building pyramids, acting out poorly written radio plays, and even compete in a prison-style Fight Club. Ah yes, the grass is greener on the inside of prison ... or however that saying goes. As the god of the prison you can even control the amount of cash flow each guard gets, which may influence when (or if) they revolt against you. And when you have the jail at 300% capacity, you can sell your prison to outside sources." -Theme Penitentiary (November 22, 2002)

The Real Description: "Control the layout of your prison buildings and the arrangement of the rooms and facilities within them. Place dormitories and cellblocks, mess halls and gymnasiums, but don't expect to be able to build death row right away. Raise funds for the upkeep of your inmates, staff and facilities by building on-site factories where your inmates can work. Will you rehabilitate offenders by allowing them to learn trade skills or educate themselves while in prison, or discuss their issues with the prison Therapist? Or will you simply send in the guards to quell unrest..." -Prison Tycoon (2005)

Did I Call It Or What? Heck yeah I did! Then again, there are only so many places and things you can turn into a sim game, so my concept of having a virtual prison doesn't seem as outlandish when everything else has been taken up. The truth is, any idea I give (Sim Space Station, Theme Day Care Center, Crystal Lake Tycoon) will be done at some point in the future. Face it, every idea we have gets made by somebody, I just have the fortunate/misfortune to have it documented on my own personal website. Damn the inevitability of the product, I predicted this game three full years before it came to fruition, in my book that's considered a direct hit.

The Real Game: Zork, Zork II and Zork III, all emulated on the PlayStation Portable.

What We Said: "Long before you could tussle with cops in Grand Theft Auto, tango with the Covenant in Halo, or go on your final adventure in Final Fantasy, there was a role-playing game named Zork. For those who loved it, Zork was a stepping stone for video game role-playing games, harking back to a much simpler time where you had to use your imagination to get you out of jams. The Zork Trilogy is set in the ruins of an ancient empire lying far underground. You, a dauntless treasure-hunter, are venturing into this dangerous land in search of wealth and adventure. Many strange tales have been told of the fabulous treasure, exotic creatures, and diabolical puzzles in the Great Underground Empire. All this and more can be yours in this exclusive UMD. Not only are all three games accurately recreated, but Infocom has gone back and upgraded the text for the 21st century. Gone are the days of looking at blocky computer text, now you can experience the games with an all new font, Terminal. The PSP has given the programmers a chance to strut their stuff and show off what the system is meant for: engrossing text role-playings games." -Preview: Zork Classics (August 19, 2005)

The Real Description: "Does anyone there remember the great text adventure games of the late-1970's-1980's from Infocom? Does "You are standing in an open field west of a white house..." sound familiar? Imfocom published dozens of them, most noteable the Zork series. You can find much history and some public downloads (including Zork I, II, and III). By combining the publicly-available story file of Zork I with the INFGMB intepreter into a Gameboy ROM file (ie. under DOS simply type "copy /b infgmb.bin+zork1.dat zork1.gb") you end up with a ROM that you can play with the RIN Gameboy emulator for the PSP!" -Zork For PSP? (February 26, 2007)

Did I Call It Or What? Okay, so this is more of an emulated product that you can play on your PSP. Actually, that's not right, either. This is an emulation that runs in another emulation. It's like when your future self has discovered a time machine and wants you to help him in the past, only you don't know why you're helping the future you until you catch up and become him. It's like that, only a lot more confusing. Anyway, the original joke was that nobody would want to play Zork on a handheld without a keyboard (or touch screen). And you know what? That still holds true. Yes, it's cool that you can accomplish the task of emulating a game that is literally nothing more than text on a handheld that can convincingly duplicate God of War, but how practical is it? It's not, and that's why my joke was funny. Well, it used to be funny, but I had to go and explain it, so now it's not funny at all. Maybe the future you can get that time machine, go back to August 19, 2005, and read the article before I ruin the punch line. Only then will you truly understand how long it took me to come up with this award winning joke. On second thought, I didn't spoil a thing.