Situation: It's hard to imagine a serious time when a quote like this would make sense. This is not the kind of thing you would want to mention right before you get into a fight, not only will it make you look stupid but you're also going to have to live down the quote if you get knocked out. That's not to say that you couldn't find a place to fit this quote in, but it's definitely not going to have the same meaning coming from your mouth instead of Duke's. Having said that, there is precedence for people in the real world using this quote. Reggie Fils-Aime has referenced the quote at various industry events, and for some odd reason it didn't sound too weird coming from his mouth. Then again, I suppose you could argue that like Duke Nukem, Reggie is a larger than life cartoon character who is known to make outlandish statements. It's a perfect fit as far as I can tell.

Likely Response: "Shut the fuck up and fight. Damn!"

Situation: When it comes right down to it there really isn't a practical use for this word/quote. No matter when you say it or how you pronounce it, you're going to come off sounding incredibly racist using a word like "victoly." But let's say you do have the balls to use this Samurai Shodown saying in public. If you're going to do it, you might as well go big or not even try. I suggest using this in your "victoly" speech when you run for Senate. Or maybe you can use it right after you've caught the winning touchdown ball in the Super Bowl. Or how about when you're making your first celebrity sex video. These are the moments when you could expose that word and show people that it's not racist, even if it sounds like it is. You took it right from Samurai Shodown, and if it's good enough for SNK, then it's good enough for you. Victoly will once again be yours.

Likely Response: "Why don't you come over here and say that to my face you little bigot?"

Situation: This has to be the most versatile quote of them all, a saying that could be both sarcastic and sympathetic. Better yet, this quote is practical because it can apply to just about anybody. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're from, chances are at some point somebody you know is going to need to visit the hospital for some reason. And if you're scrambling for a video game reference that could be used in that situation, then "I hope you like hospital food" is as good as any. But the best use of the phrase is as a snarky comment directed at somebody that did something stupid. Like that kid who is constantly trying to jump over the car on his motorcycle, I hope that guy likes hospital food. Or the that guy down the way that likes to ghost ride the whip, I hope he likes hospital food, too. In fact, I wouldn't be disappointed if ALL of these clowns that live around me liked hospital food. Let me tell you, that would make my life a whole lot better.

Likely Response: "Actually, I do like hospital food. When I was ten I had my tonsils removed, and as a treat they brought me a bowl of all three kinds of ice cream they kept on hand. And in the morning they made me hash browns that were to die for. All in all it was a fantastic experience. I can't wait until I get seriously injured and have to let the wonderful people at the hospital wait on me every second of the day. Ah to live."

Situation: Take it from me; "Toasty" is a fun thing to say out in public. Even if people don't know what you're talking about they'll usually laugh because it sounds funny and they feel like they should react in some way. But remember that not every situation calls for you to yell out "toasty". For example, it's okay to say "toasty" when you're best friend just took his seventh bong hit while playing Space Giraffe. It is not, however, good to say it when you accidentally burned your parents house down. Good to say it when you're food comes sizzling to your table. Bad to say it when your buddy lights his hand on fire. Good when you're roasting marshmallows, bad when it's the only word you use during a job interview. I think you get the point. This can be a great word to use in the real world, but remember not to say it at inappropriate times.

Likely Response: "Whoa man, heck yeah. It's like, it's like, you know, dude, fo shaw. It's like that time last night when we, no man. Oh wait, it was just a few minutes ago. Not last night. Like an hour ago. Oh dude, it's only 5 pm? Man. I'm so stoned."

Situation: In Zork this quote is to be taken literally. You are, indeed, in a maze with twisty passages, all of which look the same. Of course, you wouldn't know that without the text, since Zork is a text adventure. But maybe there's a practical use for this quote after all. I think this statement works as a metaphor, it's just vague enough to represent just about anything you want it to. Feel like you aren't getting ahead in life? Maybe your struggles are like a maze of twisty passages, all alike. And that marriage you're already sick of? Maybe you are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike. But keep in mind that while it's vague, it cannot be used for all of life's ills. When you're actually stuck in a maze full of twisty passages, it's probably not a good idea to say that it's like "you are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike." That's the recipe for making the other person very, very unhappy.

Likely Response: "You're a genius Dr. Phil, I don't know how you come up with this stuff but I hope you never stop."

Situation: Unless you're hanging out with your nerdy friends, you probably don't want to say this quote out loud. However, maybe it would be more useful in a different part of the world. The only practical use I can see from this quote is in a war time situation. And why not? We have two different wars going on, what's keeping our brave soldiers from rushing a base and then proclaiming that "all your base are belong to us." Who knows, that actually might be effective. After all, we're fighting with people who speak limited English, so at the end of the day it probably doesn't matter what we say. And even if we said something far more articulate, that wouldn't change the fact that they hate that we took control of their land and just want the occupation to end. So I guess what I'm saying is, use this quote if you want, but don't expect the people around you to care.

Likely Response: "Psst, get a load of this guy, my eight year old kid knows better English than this jerk."

Situation: This is not the kind of video game quote everybody can pull off, so you may want to take this short test to see if you're qualified to use this Super Mario Bros. quote as a punch line to your joke. Yes or no, do people tend to laugh at your jokes? Is that because you've stolen them from Carlos Mencia? When you aren't around do your friends refer to you as "that giant douche bag"? You're theory is that even the worst joke can be funny if you say the punch line enough? If you answered any of these questions then you sound like the kind of guy that can pull off making a "princess is in another castle" joke. Now all you need to do is figure out the perfect set up. I'm sure you'll just go and rip that off of Carlos Mencia, that seems to be your M.O.

Likely Response: "I didn't know there were crickets in the big cities."

Situation: "Would you kindly" is probably the single greatest quote in video game history. Not only does it sound polite and old timey, but it also gives you the sensation that you actually have a choice in the things that are being asked of you. That seems to be what BioShock is about in a nutshell, it's a look at how most games pretend that they have a vast world, yet at the end of the day you really have no control over what you're doing in the world they've created. It also has a practical use, because it's hard to say no to somebody who asks you by saying "would you kindly." It may not be mind control, but you have to admit that it sounds awfully polite and you would probably get your way a lot more often if you were to use those three little words. It sure beats the heck out of ending all of your requests with "do it now." Would you kindly go back and reread this entire article all over again? I knew you wouldn't say no to me.

Likely Response: "Yes, master. I am your slave, master."