Zany Golf

As much as people may enjoy picking on Electronic Arts nowadays, it's easy to forget that the publisher was the golden child back in the 90s. That was especially true when it came to their releases for the Genesis. While they were putting some amazing realistic sports games on Sega's 16-bit machine (more so than on the Super Nintendo), they also took chances with some off-kilter ideas like the Mutant League games. While EA was kicking ass at the time, that doesn't make them completely immune to screw-ups. Zany Golf was one of those screw-ups.

At first glance, I thought Zany Golf was a sequel to Putt & Putter (which I reviewed on Game Gear last year). Like that game, Zany Golf is an isometric miniature golf game. Fortunately, the nine holes present here are more creative than the ones Putt & Putter offered. Each of them have unique elements like a windmill tunnel and a bouncing cheeseburger. The game also looks great for the time with lots of little details like making a ketchup bottle squirt by hitting it with the ball. The controls are also very easy to grasp. By clicking and dragging the cursor to set the power and angle at once, it almost made me think I was playing mini-golf with a pool cue. It works quite well.

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Unfortunately, the problems sink this game faster than sinking an easy ace. However creative they are, nine holes are just inexcusable by the fourth console generation. If Putt & Putter on the Game Gear could provide two full 18-hole courses, there's no reason why Zany Golf had to stop at just nine holes. The angled perspective makes it very difficult to aim certain shots, particularly those that involve ricocheting shots off the walls. However, the absolute worst, most anger-inducing thing about the game is the arbitrary stroke limit imposed. Players are given only five strokes at the beginning of the game. Three strokes are regained when a hole is completed. The game is over when all the strokes are used up. This arbitrary crap makes the game more frustrating than it needs to be. It'd be one thing if that was just an additional survival mode, but it's actually the only mode in the game.

Zany Golf is one of the most half-assed games I'd ever seen. All the elements were present to make a great game of miniature golf, but development clearly stopped too soon. When an 8-bit portable game provides four times the content of a 16-bit console release, that is completely unforgivable. Pitch this one off the course and move on.