Electronic Gaming Monthly's Worst Reviewed Games of 2007

Sonic the Hedgehog &
Sonic Rivals (Tie)

#5

When we unveiled Electronic Gaming Monthly's list of the worst reviewed games of 2006, a lot of people had the same question: Where the hell is Sonic the Hedgehog? This is, after all, a game that many people consider one of the worst reboots of all time, so you would think that it would make an appearance on the worst-reviewed list. And you would be right, because Sonic 06 deserved to be on that list. But there's just one small problem -- EGM didn't review the game until their January 2007 issue. As a result, both the next-generation reboot and the PSP spin-off Sonic Rivals are showing up in the wrong year, but don't take that to mean they don't suck.

In the case of Sonic 06, Milkman noted that "with each new Sonic game it releases, Sega moves closer to assassinating the very character that once distinguished the company. Ironically, despite trying to expose Sonic to a broader audience, Sonic Team has now managed to render his next-gen game almost completely unplayable. Since when does breakneck speed combined with a completely unhinged camera equal playability? It doesn't." Believe it or not, this Sonic reboot is so bad that it made Jared yearn for even the hedgehog's more middling chapters: "I could've dealt with the much-lauded adventure elements, subpar graphics -- even that clown Shadow -- but the bottom line is that this feels more like some hack job created by a bunch of Sega interns as opposed to a game from a competent development studio." With an average of 4 out of 10, Sonic's 15th birthday bash has turned out to be more of a bust.

Released only two days after the Xbox 360 abomination, Sonic Rivals is one of the handheld spin-offs that time has all but forgotten. It's a weird mash-up of both a side-scrolling platformer and a racing game, which sounds like a promising concept on paper. Unfortunately, developer Backbone couldn't figure out how to make these two genres work together. James explains: "I don't want to brag, but I'm awesome at Rivals. All I have to do is memorize each stage, hold down that right button, and jump once in a while. If you too want to become this good and offer me a challenge, all you need is one distinct quality: A gluttony for punishment." It may have been overshadowed by the sweeping awfulness that is Sonic 06, but with an average of 4 out of 10, Sonic Rivals is every bit as bad.

Fuzion Frenzy 2

#4

It's too much to blame Mario Party for all of the world's ills, but there were times in the mid-2000s when it definitely felt like Nintendo was to blame. That must have been how the EGM editors reacted every time they had to play through a Fuzion Frenzy game. In case you missed out on this short-lived franchise, this was a mini-game collection that started on the Xbox and ended on the Xbox 360. Or, as Jennifer puts it: "The bland party game collection that graced the original Xbox's launch was completely forgettable at best. A few years from now, I suspect I'll be saying the same thing about this sequel, with its passable mini-games, boring tournament structure, and generic characters."

Shoe is mad at all the people who bought enough copies of the first Fuzion Frenzy to warrant this sequel: "I hope you're all happy, because you're getting more of the same: Lifeless, generic, and sluggish mini-games devoid of any fun and personality." Surprisingly, he seemed even more dumbfounded by his fellow critics. "5.0? 4.5? My fellow reviewers are too generous." It's true, compared to his rock-bottom 2, those scores were indeed too high. When you take them all together, we find that the second (and last) Fuzion Frenzy game averaged a pathetic 3.8 out of 10, one-tenth of a point higher than the 2001 original. That's progress, I suppose.

Wing Island

#3

If you've been following our descent through Electronic Gaming Monthly's worst-reviewed games, then you might remember me complaining about Konami's output in the mid-2000s. For every amazing Metal Gear Solid sequel we got, there would be an atrocious Bomberman game to balance the scale. 2007 was no different, as we were blessed with two amazing Castlevania games, only to then be cursed by two horrendous flying games. The first is Wing Island on the Wii, a family-friendly affair that is about as close as you're going to get to Pilotwings on the Wii. Sounds like a winning formula, right? What could possibly go wrong?

Crispin puts it this way: "Wing Island packs all the thrills of massively subsonic (more like walking-speed) flight coupled with aerial searches for wayward livestock and villages just begging for propaganda-leaflet bombardment. Wing Island's missions are often as boring as they are bizarre. Dumping water on fires? Eh, kinda fun. Hauling crates to hard-to-hit drop zones? Uh, great. Bombing immobile derelict ships? Someone wake me up when we land." Jenn has more pressing questions, like "Why does a bird need to fly a plane?" and "Why am I still playing this?" "Dreamcast-era graphics further sour the deal. In the end, Wing Island's one lame duck." Hey, I think a lot of those Dreamcast games look great. Editorializing aside, Wing Island crashed and burned with an average score of 3.7 out of 10.

Time Ace

#2

2007 was not a good year for flying games published by Konami. As bad as Wing Island was, Time Ace is apparently that much worse. Released on the Nintendo DS and nowhere else, Time Ace tosses you into the cockpit for a bunch of dogfights through time. That sounds like a killer premise to me, but the review crew tells a completely different story. For example, Crispin begs somebody (anybody) to invent a real time machine so that he can go back in time and warn himself not to play this "dog-tired dogfighting-through-the-decades air-combat crapshoot." "Chief among Time Ace's tripping points: An auto-engaging autopilot with a knack for tossing you into buildings if you wander too far from the preset flight path. Add in spotty hit detection and you end up dying more from crashing into obstacles than from taking enemy fire."

Speaking of warnings, Demian wanted to give multiplayer gamers a heads-up: "I'd also like to add, for the benefit of the two people who might want to try the multiplayer mode, please reconsider. You'll each need to have your own copy of the game, for starters, and then you'll find that clumsy, oh-look-we-died-simultaneously-again deathmatches in one of three maps aren't much fun. What flight game doesn't let you do a loop-the-loop anyway?" You know, that's a solid question, and one we're definitely not going to find in these three reviews. With an average score of 3.5 out of 10, Konami has done it again. And by "it," I mean that they have released another terrible game takes up space on the list of worst-reviewed games. Way to stay consistent, Konami.

Escape from Bug Island

#1

Now that Resident Evil has largely moved away from its campy origins, it's up to Escape from Bug Island to be the video game equivalent of a cheesy B-movie. But while Birdemic may be so bad that it's actually good, this knowingly awful game is just, well, awful. It's the kind of game that is unbearably bad for all the wrong reasons. Greg Ford runs down the checklist of what it gets wrong, complaining that the "antiquated tank controls often make the simple act of moving a chore, and the sluggish attack motions mean deadly critters will be all over you as you flail the wrong way." And just when you think it's all over, the big twist sends you backtracking through the miserable experience. Oof.

Mark, who gave the game a 1.5 out of 10, spent most of his review playfully chastising Greg for playing it wrong: "Complaining about the horrendous controls and frustrating combat? It's called Escape from Bug Island, Greg -- 'Escape' not 'fight.' The game never gives you a reason to attack monsters, so I think you're supposed to just run from everything instead. Fun!" Coated in a heavy layer of sarcasm, all three editors agree that Escape from Bug Island has ugly graphics, crummy gameplay and a story you're better off running away from. With an average score of 2.7 out of 10, Escape from Bug Island is officially Electronic Gaming Monthly's worst reviewed game of 2007.