Alright, how many times do I have to tell you this ... your arms and legs are not going to do you any good when fighting ghosts! We've been over this a number of times already; weapons (such as guns, knives, flame throwers, ice picks, rap music and your feet) are not going to help you when you're being attacked by ghosts. Ghosts are non-corporeal, if you kick or punch at one your fist and leg will go straight through the creature, it's like attacking a cloud or smoke. But here we are again, in this advertisement for Phantom Fighter the protagonist (with his silly house for a hat) seems to be under the impression that you can kung fu your way out of a ghost fight.

This commercial brags that it is the "martial arts game with a big difference." What is that big difference? Well, the commercial seems to think it's the fact that you're kicking your way through staged filled with zombies, phantoms and zombie phantoms. But I say the "big difference" is that they actually use "Dialogue" as one of the big selling points. There it is, right next to "Over 100 Ghosts" and "Password Memory", one of the big three reasons you should play this Phantom Fighter. Heck, "Dialogue" even gets an exclamation mark ... it makes you feel like there's this masterwork of writing that has been out there all this time just waiting to be discovered. Like the writing in this game is going to rival Hollywood at its finest. But let's face it; the dialogue in this game is more Snakes on a Plane than Pulp Fiction.

But let's forget the stupid bullet points for a moment and get back to the supernatural picture being used to sell the game. I get the ghost enemies floating towards our man in yellow. But what's with that crazy vampire one in the background? Isn't it enough that this crazy character can suck blood, live forever and turn into a bat? What does he need lightning fingernails for? What is the purpose of that? If this guy can control the weather, then why even bother fighting? It seems like that's the kind of super power that would outmatch just about everybody. All of a sudden I've stopped wanting to play as that powerless human and now it's all about that vampire weather summoner. Why can't we play the game as somebody cool for a change?

FROM: The Many Loves of Bad Advertising