Ever since Tetris took the world by storm every game company has been scrambling to come up with an addictive puzzler that would wow the masses. Is Puzznic the game that will match the greatness of Tetris? Will it be the game that we talk about for decades to come commenting on how it never will be topped? Of course not, instead it's a stupid little puzzle game that features a terrible advertisement. Maybe the advert isn't as bad as Crime Wave, but when your slogan is "No Brain No Gain" you know things are about to go from bad to worse.

The real fun of Puzznic doesn't come from the slogan or its ridiculous name, instead it's the captions below the three pictures that make this advertisement so horrible. "Don't let nasty elevator cubes squeeze you into a corner," one reads. Elevator cubes? Or how about this, "Pick Password to resume your game after each completed level." Pick a password? How about you go ahead and give me a password and I'll use it. And finally, "Plan carefully or you'll be caught with extra shapes." Yeah, I hate it when I'm caught with extra shapes. I'll never forget the time when my dad sat me down and told me that if I didn't use protection I could have extra shapes I would later regret.

Puzznic is the type of game that needs to tear other games down in order to look good. This commercial wants to know if you're tired of "ninja sword fights on Planet Zark" you have a non-violent alternative. Unfortunately the alternative was a disgustingly boring puzzle game that failed to drum up all of the fun and addictive qualities that made Tetris so successful. And just when you thought this was too good to be true, Taito turns around and states that the three pictures are "Actual Nintendo Entertainment System screens." It's as if there was some confusion that what they were showing was simply too amazing to be on an 8-bit console. I guess the world just wasn't ready for elevator cubes.

FROM: The Many Loves of Bad Advertising