This Week in Defunct Games - 3DS Buyers' Guide

What Is It? You know how Nintendo always gets credit for making creative and original products? Meet Alleyway, the counterargument. This is nothing more than a variation of Arkanoid (or Breakout, if you prefer). You move a small spaceship (read: paddle) around the bottom of the screen, bouncing a large ball up into the air. Your goal is to break all of the blocks and clear the board, which is easier said than done. As you progress through the stages you will encounter trickier stages. Keep bouncing that ball and earn the high score.

Does It Still Hold Up? This was a Game Boy launch title, and it shows. Alleyway is extremely simple, to the point of being a repetitive mess. The levels aren't different enough and the lack of variety ultimately hurts an otherwise solid concept. The gameplay itself is a mixed bag, featuring fast motion and busted physics. Alleyway is technically unimpressive in almost every way.

Is It Worth The Money? Even with the problems listed above, I'm still willing to give this game a pass. I can't quite recommend it, but at three dollars it's hard to say no. This gets a pass because there is nothing like it on the Virtual Console. Every other game involves platforming or hardcore adventuring, making this the one and only casual game on the virtual shelf. If all you're looking for is a quick game of faux-Arkanoid, then the price is certainly right. On the other hand, you won't be missing much if you ignore Alleyway all together.

What Is It? Donkey Kong is a tricky ape. He wants to fool you into believing that this is nothing more than a port of his groundbreaking 1981 masterpiece. You push the start button and discover four old school levels, the type that have vexed Steve Wiebe and Billy Mitchell for so many years. But don't be fooled, this is more than a silly arcade port. Donkey Kong '94 is a genuine masterpiece. It straddles the line between puzzle game and 2D platformer. The object is to get the key to the door, but doing that requires proper handling of special items and quick fingers. With hundreds of levels to master, our hero is forced to take on challenges inspired by ten years' worth of Donkey Kong games.

Does It Still Hold Up? Donkey Kong '94 has it all -- nostalgic levels, boss battles, fast-paced action and brain-busting puzzles. The controls are responsive and the graphics are top notch for an 8-bit handheld. Even more impressive is the way this game seamlessly introduces elements from older games, including Donkey Kong Jr. This Donkey Kong game makes a real strong argument for the inclusion of Game Boy games in the Virtual Console.

Is It Worth The Money? Donkey Kong is secretly the best Game Boy game on the 3DS Virtual Console. While The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX is the amazing game you expect, I was genuinely blown away with the quality of this 1994 platformer. I was shocked at the level of depth found in this tiny download. There were enough levels to keep me busy for the last two weeks, which is not something I can say about Super Mario Land. Even if you only have a passing interest in the old Donkey Kong cabinet, give this Game Boy reimagining a serious look.

What Is It? Despite finding himself on a few consoles over the years, Kirby has always been best on the handhelds. Between this classic Game Boy adventure and the various Nintendo DS releases, there's very little reason to play a Kirby game on a console. This 1992 masterpiece manages to create a traditional 2D platformer that feels nothing like Super Mario Bros. You float about, sucking up objects and spitting them out at surrounding enemies. Throughout the course of the game you'll run into iconic boss battles and some ingenious level designs. While Kirby's difficulty is often easier than Zelda or Donkey Kong, this adventure is no less engaging. With short levels and adorable graphics, Kirby's Dream Land is the perfect fit on the Nintendo 3DS.

Does It Still Hold Up? Kirby's Dream Land is a testament to the quality of Nintendo's line of 2D platformers. The easy control mechanics compliment a lengthy adventure that has aged surprisingly well. The graphics look good and there's quite a bit of variety in the gameplay. He may not have the gravitas of a Zelda, Mario or Donkey Kong, but he has no problem fitting in with those superstars.

Is It Worth The Money? I remember liking Kirby's Dream Land when it first came out, but I was impressed by how well it has aged. Perhaps it has something to do with Nintendo's strong lineage of top-quality platformers or maybe it's just luck, whatever the case I was quickly engrossed by this unique world. Although Super Mario Land is a fantastic game, it can't hold a candle to Kirby's Dream Land.

What Is It? A remake of the 1993 Game Boy game, Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening DX marks the first (and so far only) color 3DS Virtual Console game. Color or not, this is easily one of the best Game Boy games of all time, if not one of the best Zelda games available. Instead of adding gimmicks, Link's Awakening plays it straight. In this re-telling you play a hero who needs to find enough musical instruments to summon the Wind Fish. The colorful graphics help sell the new world of Koholint Island, a brand new world full of memorable characters and new bosses.

Does It Still Hold Up? Although it would be unrealistic to expect this 8-bit handheld to match the visual quality of A Link to the Past, I was pleasantly surprised at how close it comes. Fans of the Zelda series will recognize most of the trappings, including familiar dungeons, items, quests and more. The control is solid, making these tasks easier. Sadly the game could have used a few more buttons, something that is only more obvious when playing on the Nintendo 3DS. Still, the game is long enough to warrant the higher asking price.

Is It Worth The Money? Did I mention that the game is nearly twice as expensive as other Virtual Console titles? This 15 year old Game Boy Color title is a staggering six dollars, putting it in line with most of the PlayStation 1 games released on the PSN. The price is easier to swallow knowing that it's one of Nintendo's best Zelda sequels; however I hope this isn't a sign that all future Game Boy Color releases will be that expensive. If you aren't bored by the standard Zelda cliches, Link's Awakening is a must-buy for every 3DS owner.

What Is It? Much like Alleyway, Radar Mission feels a lot like somebody else's game. In this case it's Battleship, the Milton Bradley board game we all played as children. The goal is simple: Try and locate your enemy's naval ships using nothing more than an 8 x 8 grid. Each player takes turns firing into that and the winner is determined by the last man standing. The classic board game comes to life thanks to animated cinemas and a variety of challenging missions. This early generation Game Boy release can be played solo; however it's best with a buddy.

Does It Still Hold Up? Much like the board game it's based on, Radar Mission can be a lot of fun. That is, it's a simple concept that is hard to get wrong. The presentation is better than I was expecting and it's easy to sit down and play in short bursts. This game does add a few new twists, including fighter jets that take off if the round goes on too long. It may not be the flashiest game on the Virtual Console, but Radar Mission manages to hold up.

Is It Worth The Money? I'm of two minds when it comes to Radar Mission. If you love Battleship and can see yourself playing it with somebody on the go, then this is definitely worth the three dollar asking price. However, this is the type of game you could just as easily create with a paper and pencil. The single-player campaign isn't varied enough to stay interesting and the opponent AI is all over the board. It's not a bad game, but know what you're getting yourself into.

What Is It? Describing Super Mario Land can be tricky. On the surface it's just like any other 2D Super Mario games, you run around squishing enemies and smacking well-placed coin boxes. But even with the same trappings, this Game Boy launch title doesn't feel like any other Super Mario Bros. game. From the weird Middle Eastern imagery to the bizarre vehicle sequences, Super Mario Land plays out like a wild experiment. The good news is that it mostly works. Sadly, there's not enough here to make this game as satisfying as it should be.

Does It Still Hold Up? I hope you brought a magnifying glass, because everything in Super Mario Land is microscopic. Slight exaggeration aside, it's painfully obvious that this is a first generation Game Boy game. The controls are good and the music is adequate, but the game is on the short and easy side. You'll blow through this game in an hour or two. I didn't find it as instantly replayable as other Mario outings, but all of the main elements are represented well in this launch title.

Is It Worth The Money? Super Mario Land is not a slam dunk. It doesn't have that patented Super Mario feel and it's too short for its own good. The vehicle levels are just plain weird and the story is even more nonsensical than usual. And yet I'm going to recommend it. It's a tepid recommendation, but the price is just about right for this relic. Best of all, this allows Nintendo to bring on the Super Mario Land game we're all waiting for: 6 Golden Coins.

What Is It? It was only a matter of time before Nintendo dropped a stinker. As the simple title suggests, this is a no-frills tennis game for the Game Boy. When it was first release it was one of the few sports games for the Game Boy; a solid purchase for anybody that liked competitive tennis action. By 1989 standards, Tennis does it all. And by that I mean it plays a game of tennis and that's all. With only a couple modes to choose from and nothing in the form of a single-player career, Tennis is as bare bones as a game can get.

Does It Still Hold Up? With few modes and even less customization, Tennis feels like an ancient relic from a bygone era. That could be because it IS an ancient relic from a bygone era. Nobody makes sports games like this anymore, which can be a little jarring when loading it up for the first time. There's very little technique to the gameplay and the graphics are as plain as vanilla. With so many better tennis games on the Game Boy (among other related Virtual Console handhelds), Nintendo's Tennis doesn't even come close to holding up.

Is It Worth The Money? Tennis is Nintendo's way of trolling the 3DS Virtual Console. This is one of those games I would have recommended twenty years ago. The gameplay is fast and competitive, something we didn't see a lot of in the early days of the Game Boy. However, I can't ignore the two decades that have helped me redefine what a sports game is. With nothing much to do and no customization options, Tennis isn't even worth the dirt cheap three dollar asking price. You're better off waiting for Mario Tennis.