Last week, when I was counting down Nintendo Power's Top 100 games of all time, I made a few jokes about Faceball 2000 showing up in 81st place. I thought it was all fun and games, but boy did I hear it in the comment section. I was roasted for ignoring its important place in gaming's history and minimizing how good the multiplayer was. And you know what? I think you might be right. What we're going to do today is take a trip back to the early 1990s and answer the question: Do I owe Faceball 2000 an apology? To get to the bottom of this mystery, I decided to flip through the pages of Electronic Gaming Monthly, Game Informer, Computer & Video Games and more classic magazines that reviewed these games back when they first came out. Get ready to get lost in the MIDI Maze and have a nice day in this apologetic episode of Faceball Review Crew.


Six years before the Doom Guy shot his way through Hell on Mars, there was MIDI Maze. Inspired by a wave of early 3D computer games, like Wayout and Phantom Slayer, MIDI Maze took the concept and introduced a multiplayer mode that supported up to sixteen players at the same time. They did this by using the Atari ST's MIDI ports, a clever workaround that allowed the developers to create the first deathmatch. Four years later, the people behind the Atari ST original brought an updated version of MIDI Maze to the Game Boy, this time under the name Faceball 2000. It was published by Bullet-Proof Software and included a number of important revisions, including giving the different characters their own personality. Although black and white and running at a frustratingly slow frame-rate, Faceball 2000 was certainly ambitious. It was one of the few games to support the Four-Player Adaptor, making it one of the best multiplayer games you could get on a portable system. That's genuinely impressive, but what did the critics say?

I like to start with Electronic Gaming Monthly, because they are so often right in the middle of the pack. However, when it comes to Faceball 2000 on the Game Boy, they are right at the very bottom, giving the game a 6.75 out of 10. This is one of those times where the review scores were all over the place. Steve gave it a 6, explaining that he finds the “whole concept behind this game to be rather boring. Winding your way through mazes to blast down happy faces isn't exactly my idea of a great time, although in multiplayer mode, where the other faces are your friends, the game gets better. It's original at least.” Ed disagreed, giving it an 8: “Spectacular! Get three friends together and have a blast. Even though I like puzzle games, I have to say that as a one-player game – forget it. You're just a rat in a first-person perspective maze. But, as a multiplayer game, there is no equal. One of the best party games made.”

Moving up the scale, we see ACE use their ridiculous one-thousand-point system to give Faceball a score of 720. GameZone uses their own dumb scale to give it a 5 out of 6, while Nintendo Power went with a 4.1 out of 5. The critics at Game Informer liked it even more than that, giving it an average score of 8.9 out of 10. Rick, the video ranger, called it a “totally unique game that is a blast for everyone from the beginner to the most advanced player. The 3D graphics seem to surround you and must be experienced to be appreciated.” Marianne, the game master, also liked the game, calling the sound “jazzy” and concluding that Faceball 2000 is “way cool. A great game for everyone; up to four players at a time. We want more four-player Game Boy carts, if they're anything like this.”

While that's a good score, it pales in comparison to the UK version of Total, which gave the game a 93%. GamePro liked it enough to give it a perfect 5 out of 5. While that in and of itself isn't that unusual, how they got to that score was. Instead of having one critic review the game, they had four different takes, all of which gave it a 5 out of 5 (except for Fancy Pants, who apparently did not know how to rate games. Earth Angel explained that “playing against the CPU is a little tough, but playing against other humans, especially a four-player game, makes for hysterical fun. The game's 3D, virtual reality type perspective gives you the feeling that you're running around that maze, despite the small Game Boy screens. And there's nothing like the chill that runs down your spine as you round a corner and run smack into a gigantic smiloid. I really liked the fact that no player is out of the game until it's over – otherwise Fancy Pants would've been crying his eyes out. I can't believe anybody wouldn't like this game. OK, someone won't like it ... but they're crazy.”

So, does that make me crazy? Okay, look, I will admit that the reviews for Faceball 2000 are shockingly strong. This Game Boy version averaged an impressive 83%, and it would have done even better if not for ACE and EGM dragging it down. So yes, I probably do owe Faceball 2000 an apology. I can understand why it would appear on Nintendo Power's top 100 list in 1997. From both a technological and historical perspective, it deserves to be on the list. It's time to get Faceball 2000 on Nintendo Switch Online, that way more people can experience the four-player action the way it was originally intended.

One year after Faceball 2000 made its debut on the Game Boy (and one year before Doom came out), Xanth Software returned with a 16-bit version for the Super NES. While it looked better and the gameplay was considerably faster, this new Faceball 2000 cut the amount of multiplayer opponents in half – going from four-player down to a two-player splitscreen. But at least it has a cool new soundtrack. That's something, right? Let's see if that was enough to win over the critics.

When it comes to the reviews, there's a massive swing between the highest and lowest scores. I'm talking about a 65-point difference between the two, which means that there's a real disagreement when it comes to Faceball 2000 on the Super NES. Let's start with Computer & Video Games, which gave it the lowest score – 35%. “Whilst the 3D is neatly updated, everything else about Faceball is tedious in the extreme. It takes ages to get to a series of nasties, which move at anything other than snail's pace, and when they do, they're still ridiculously easy to hit. The developers have added a couple of additional game options to liven things up, but there's just no disguising that this is a true stinker.”

While I think it's fair to call CVG an outlier, they were far from the only magazine to hate on this Super NES update. Super Play ended up giving the game a very middling 54%, comparing Faceball 2000 to a piece of bread. “It'll sit quite happy in your toaster for about two minutes, but then it'll pop out and um ... ah.” Yeah, that bread analogy feels half-baked.

As we move up the scale, we see Nintendo Power give the game a 3.7 out of 5, down a bit from the 4.1 they gave the Game Boy version. Super NES Buyer's Guide went a bit higher, giving it a 7.7 out of 10. And then there's Electronic Games, which went one tick higher, going with 78%. “The simple shooting format turns complex with the variety of maze formats and different types of Smiloids, together with the special-ups and power-ups. In combination, while not providing quite the addictive hook some less complex games might have, these elements provide adequate challenge to keep any gamer interested for some time. It should certainly provide a glimpse of, and practice for, virtual reality games of the future. Meanwhile, have a nice day.”

Much like the Game Boy version, the Faceball 2000 on the Super NES had a number of defenders. Super Action gave it an 87% in their fourth issue, while Super Pro went with an 88% in their first. Video Games & Computer Entertainment went all the way up to a 9 out of 10, but even that was overshadowed by GamePro once again giving the game a perfect 5 out of 5. “Faceball 2000 is a simple game concept that works. What you see is what you get. So, if you like what you see and read here, get it. The only thing this game's missing is the Game Boy's four-player capability. Until that SNES technology breakthrough occurs, that's right ... have a nice daaaaaaaay!”

From 35% all the way up to 100%, the opinions were all over the place when it came to Faceball on the Super NES. While you might assume the 16-bit hardware would be better suited for this type of game, the critics seemed to have preferred the Game Boy take. They gave this Super NES port an overall average of 76%, down nine points from the portable edition. Still, that is far better than I was expecting. Congratulations, Bullet-Proof Software; I stand corrected.