Forget the Nintendo Entertainment System, the Super NES, the Nintendo 64, the Game Boy Advance, the Genesis and even the GameCube, because next week Nintendo will be bringing the Virtual Boy to the Nintendo Switch Online. That's right, despite selling fewer than 800,000 units back in the mid-1990s and largely being ignored over the last thirty years, Nintendo will be bringing porting the Virtual Boy for the very first time. Starting on February 17th, Nintendo Switch Online subscribers who buy either a cardboard or plastic Virtual Boy adaptor will have access to Wario Land, Red Alarm, Teleroboxer, 3-D Tetris, Golf, Galactic Pinball and The Mansion of Innsmouth. That's cool news, but are any of these games actually worth playing? To answer that question, I decided to flip through the pages of Electronic Gaming Monthly, Game Fan, Nintendo Power and more classic magazines that reviewed these games when they first came out. I sure hope you have some eye drops handy, because you're going to need them when we dive into the black and red world of the Virtual Boy Review Crew.

SEE MORE: Nintendo Classics Game Archive


If you thought knocking out “Iron” Mike Tyson in Punch-Out was hard, wait until you smack around actual iron in Teleroboxer, a game that mixes Nintendo's classic boxing series with giant, futuristic robots. Honestly, that's a pretty great premise, and the character designs are genuinely cool. While a bit on the tough side, Teleroboxer is generally regarded as one of the Virtual Boy's better games. It uses the 3D aspect well and is a fun new spin on the Punch-Out formula. Let's see what the critics said.

We're going to kick off the reviews with Next Generation, who has the distinction of giving Teleroboxer the lowest score of any English-language magazine – a 3 out of 5. “Another 8-bit return, Teleroboxer is for all practical purposes a high-tech remake of Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! for the NES. Unlike Mario's Tennis, the three-dimensional effects don't add that much, and after a few plays it becomes apparent that what you've got in your hands is a monochrome version of an old game. On the upside, Teleroboxer looks better than any other Virtual Boy title currently available. If you want something new, seek elsewhere, but if you just want a solid game for your new system, Teleroboxer isn't a bad choice.”

Moving up the scale, we see Nintendo Power liked it a tiny bit more than Next Gen, going with a 3.2 out of 5. The freshly renamed Game Fan didn't like it much better, giving the game an average of 67%. E. Storm called Teleroboxer a game he could live without: “Fans of Punch-Out may be mildly amused by the similar style action and OK 3D, but this is not what I'm looking for in a virtual experience. The complicated controls coupled with the insane pace made me nuts.” Soon to be convicted felon Nick Rox didn't like the game much better, calling it the second worst game to launch with the Virtual Boy: “Technically, the game is rather impressive, with these huge, multi-jointed robotic 3D dudes smacking your eyes with their non-pixelly scaling fists, but the control and game design is a step beyond pain. Even if you have the year or so time required to get used to the double-pad control, or if you're a Nintendo boxing game freak, the game proceeds at such a breakneck speed as to make actual playing impossible. I dunno ... maybe I just suck at the game.” Yeah, Nick Rox definitely sucks.

While Game Fan and Next Generation may not have liked Teleroboxer, it did have a couple of supporters. For example, GamePro gave it a really good score of 4 out of 5. Computer & Video Games went even higher, going all the way up to 90%. “Teleroboxer – or Tel, as we call it – is the most action-packed game for the Virtual Boy so far. It's like Super Punch-Out with scaling fists bludgeoning your eyes. Once you get used to the controls and get your coordination right, Tel is top ace fun, and it's certainly hard enough to keep you going for yonks.”

While the scores don't reflect this, I would argue that Teleroboxer actually holds up better than a lot of other Virtual Boy games. These days, gamers are a lot more adept at using “double-pad controls,” which may give them a leg up on their 1990s counterparts. That said, the game is tough. Extremely tough. Overall, Teleroboxer averaged a score of 72%, which is honestly pretty good for the Virtual Boy.

Although Nintendo didn't sell the Virtual Boy as the successor to the Game Boy, there was an expectation that we would see similar games. Or, in the case of Tetris, maybe the exact same game ... only now in 3D. Believe it or not, 3D Tetris is just one of two very different takes on the Russian puzzler. We'll talk about V-Tetris in a future episode, but what you need to know about 3D Tetris is that it's, well, 3D. The idea is basically the same, but you're viewing everything in 3D. Is this a brilliant new wrinkle on the Tetris formula or garbage?

The answer to that question depends entirely on which magazine you subscribed to at the time. For example, Next Generation gave 3D Tetris their lowest possible score – 1 out of 5. “There was a time when Game Boys flew off the shelves into the hands of adults who were addicted to the greatest puzzle game of all time. The hallowed name ‘Tetris' was synonymous with portable gaming excellence. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Tetris 3D epitomizes the problems inherent in the Virtual Boy itself. The simple yet challenging gameplay is almost entirely gone; what remains is an ill-conceived mutation that fails to compare even remotely to the original. Ultimately, the player now ends up spending more time fighting the game's design flaws than playing or enjoying it. It's what you might call ... baffling.”

For what it's worth, Next Gen was the outlier when it came to 3D Tetris. That said, GamePro gave it a so-so 3.5 out of 5 and Nintendo Power went one tick higher, giving the game a 3.6 out of 5. It was Video Games: The Ultimate Gaming Magazine that ended up giving Tetris the highest score, going all the way up to an 8 out of 10. “Tetris doesn't really need to be 3D. It's a perfectly absorbing game as it is. Making it 3D only makes a simple concept a little bit more complicated, and perhaps less appealing. Tetris 3D does have a very convincing 3D aspect, and the new perspective does add a little intrigue and difficulty. One of the only things that really counts against this is the annoying sound. Most Virtual Boy sounds are annoyingly tinny, but this is just poor.”

As you can see, even the most positive review is still a little iffy on 3D Tetris. Does it make the classic puzzle game better? No, not at all. However, it is an interesting take on Tetris that is worth checking out, at least once. With Next Generation trashing the game, the overall average is a low 61%.

When Nintendo released the Virtual Boy in 1995, they positioned the system as if it was something from the far-flung future. You definitely saw that in the weird dystopian TV commercials, so perhaps it makes sense that so many of the Virtual Boy's earliest titles were built around space and science fiction. That's certainly the theme when it comes to Galactic Pinball, a fairly straight-forward pinball simulator that used the Virtual Boy's 3D effect to give real depth to the table. Pinball games have always been a bit divisive on consoles, so let's see what the critics said.

When it comes to Electronic Gaming Monthly, the critics were split. Half of the crew gave it fives, while the other half gave it sevens, giving us an average score of 6.25 out of 10. Al gave it the lowest score, arguing that “all-new systems have first-generation games that supposedly exploit the hardware's capability. This game doesn't seem to fit into the mold of look-at-how-impressive-I-am games. The control is not entirely there. I wasn't too impressed with this new approach to an otherwise severely rehashed form of game. This one's neither overly fun nor impressive.” On the other hand, Andrew liked it the most, giving it a 7.5 out of 10: “I was very skeptical about how good the Virtual Boy would really be. Galactic Pinball is a very cool pinball game. The flippers react a little slowly and not at all realistically. The buttons feel like the real thing, however. Each borad has its own feel to it. The Colony Level is awesome. The audio and voices are all top-notch. Before I couldn't see the Virtual Boy as a viable system, but now I'm beginning to see what Nintendo has up its sleeve.”

As usual, EGM finds themselves smack dab in the middle of the reviews, with two above and two below. The worst score actually belongs to Game Players, who gave Galactic Pinball a middling 55%. However, I want to go back to Game Fan, who gave the game a score of 60%. E. Storm argued that it's amusing at first, but “never really goes anywhere spectacular. Most of the levels are devoid of any real entertainment. On the positive side, the 3D effects are very impressive and the areas are each very creative, but more ‘stuff' is needed to make pinball an event.” The all-around terrible person Nick Rox started his review saying that he doesn't like pinball, which is one of the many luxuries he won't have to worry about for a long time to come. He doesn't recommend you go anywhere near Galactic Pinball.

On the other side of the EGM divide was Nintendo Power, which gave the game a so-so 3.3 out of 5. GamePro ended up liking Galactic Pinball the most, giving it a 4 out of 5. “Galactic Pinball rocks and rolls. If pins are your passion, you owe it to yourself to check out this galaxy.”

Short and sweet. But while GamePro may have liked Galactic Pinball, the other critics did not, dropping the overall average down to 65%. This is definitely one of those games where your mileage will vary based on how much you like pinball.

I guess T&E Soft didn't get the memo about futuristic sci-fi theme, because Golf is ... well, it's a pretty standard game of golf. This came only a couple of months after Mario's Tennis and Virtual League Baseball, giving sports fans a few choices on the Virtual Boy. There's not a lot of content here, but the 18 holes look good and the physics are better than a lot of the golf games found on 16-bit systems of the time. Is that enough to convince the critics to recommend the game? Let's find out.

Next Generation is, once again, not impressed with Golf. Not at all. Then again, they haven't exactly been thrilled by any of these games, so seeing another 2 out of 5 score isn't that surprising. “For some inexplicable reason, the golf game is a mainstay of any system's offerings. It's always one of the first games offered to the consumer and therefore the marketing folks must believe there is demand for one. So, despite the limited offerings available for the Virtual Boy, it's not surprise there's a golf game. The only real downside of the game is the Virtual Boy's inferior image quality, which makes just about every feature in the distance difficult to make out. Golf is satisfactory, but there is little effective use of the Virtual Boy's limited 3D abilities. One has to wonder if the same people who purchase golf games on other consoles will show any interest in the Virtual Boy edition.”

While I wouldn't call Next Generation an outlier, they were definitely the harshest of any of the critics. For example, Nintendo Power gave Golf a score of 3.5 out of 5. Yet again, GamePro ended up with the top score, giving the sports game a solid 4 out of 5. “A 3D golfing experience that putts its money where its mouth is, Golf is fun, but not very sharp. Blurry fairways are offset by speedy screen redraw and a pleasing golf interface. You'll wish for the quiet of the course when you hear the lousy music, though. Virtual Golf will keep you puttering around for a while.”

All in all, Golf is a pretty standard simulator with iffy graphics and not a lot of content. It earned an overall average of 63%, which feels right in line with the critic's complaints. Worth checking out if you're into this kind of thing, but you probably won't stick around for long.

From the moment you see Red Alarm, it's clear that T&E Soft wanted to position it as the Virtual Boy's Star Fox. And that's a smart move, because Nintendo's furry-filled shooter was a big hit in 1993 and everybody was desperate for more. It also perfectly played into the Virtual Boy's 3D gimmick, at least in theory. This was an ambitious game. Perhaps too ambitious. It's also the game most likely to give you a headache, so keep that in mind while we go over these reviews.

We're going to start with Electronic Gaming Monthly, which once again finds itself in in the middle of the pack. With sixes and sevens across the board, EGM ended up averaging out to a rather disappointing 6.75 out of 10. Al sums it up perfectly when he exclaims, “ouch! After playing through a bit of this, stand back, look at something and try to focus. I was impressed by Red Alarm. Unfortunately, the graphics (all in red, mind you) are baffling. Is that a wall, a ship or an icon you are approaching? If you are not careful, you could find yourself lost in the land of wire frames.” Andrew, on the other hand, liked it enough to give it a 7.5 out of 10: “This cart is pretty cool, especially for a first-generation game. The graphics are detailed. The gameplay is well managed with lots of options to appease any player. It's almost impossible to play from the Star Fox point of view. I wish there was some way to fill in the wire frames. Sometimes you can't tell what you can and cannot hit.”

If you think that's bad, then buckle up, because Game Players went all the way down to a score of 35%. And that's nothing compared to Next Generation, which gave the game their lowest possible score – 1 out of 5. “Red Alarm should be a fantastic game. Graphically, it's smooth wire frame look is about the best the Virtual Boy can aspire to, control and movement is intuitive if not responsive, and even the true 3D flight idea is well designed. The problem is, in actual practice, none of it really works. The wire frame walls become impossible to gauge at close range, the tight environment doesn't ever let the player get the free feel that open flight style could deliver. Red Alarm is intended to be the Virtual Boy's answer to Star Fox, but the game seems to show that, at least for the time being, Nintendo should stick with the speed and performance of bit-mapped graphics.”

Now that Next Gen has trashed the game, you may be surprised to hear that Red Alarm had a few champions out there. Nintendo Power ended up giving the game a 3.5 out of 5, while GamePro went even higher, giving the game a 4 out of 5. “You might need a saint's patience to master this game. If you're aching for an unusual shoot ‘em up adventure, however, turn on the Alarm.”

And then there were the critics that didn't just like Red Alarm, they LOVED it. Believe it or not, Computer & Video Games gave the game a 92%, making it one of their best reviewed games of 1995. Game Fan went one tick higher, giving it a 93%. E Storm loved the game, calling it the one game that you just gotta have. “It would be enough having an average shooter to go along with these stunning 3D vector graphics, but instead you get a great shooter complete with varying terrain, huge twisted levels, and entire rooms to slay bosses. Three camera angles plus great voice and background music combine to equal 3D shooting power.” And then there's this guy, who you should definitely not google. Nick argued that this was the best reason to buy the Virtual Boy. “This is literally one of the best games I've ever played ... and it's not only a launch title ... it's by T&E Soft. How did T&E, one of the most hurtin' developers on the face of the planet, get the power to create this masterpiece?”

Yeah, that is one of the many, MANY things Nick Rox was wrong about. We don't need to get into the other stuff. What I will say is that Red Alarm is a surprisingly divisive game. It really comes down to how much you can tolerate the wire frame look. For me, I find it almost impossible to look at for long stretches of time. It really is the one Virtual Boy game that gave me a headache every single time. However, if you can handle that, then there's actually a lot to like about Red Alarm. Check it out on the Switch.

Of the seven Virtual Boy games coming to the Nintendo Classics app, The Mansion of Innsmouth is the only one making its American debut. Trapped in Japan for more than thirty years, this is the lone horror game for the Virtual Boy (unless you count Jack Bros.). It's a first-person corridor game where you escape mazes and battle monsters. The whole thing is based on H.P. Lovecraft's novels, especially The Shadow Over Innsmouth. Is it as good as those old novels? Based on the Famitsu reviews, the answer is no. The general consensus was that this was an ambitious game that was undermined by strange gameplay decisions, such as an aggressively short timer that made the game a lot harder than it should be. Sadly, no English-language magazines reviewed Innsmouth back in the day, so we'll never know what EGM would have said about this first-person shooter. On the plus side (and this is a huge plus side), at least we get to play it. That's a big deal.

If you've ever watched somebody make a case for the Virtual Boy, then you already know that Wario Land is often both the beginning and end of the argument. It has a reputation for being the handheld-console-thing's best game, and for good reason. There may be other good games on the Virtual Boy, but none feel as polished and fully-realized as Wario Land. It's the closest Virtual Boy owners got to a proper Super Mario platformer, a staple of any Nintendo console. If you ask most people, this is the best reason to get a Virtual Boy, but let's see if the critics agree.

We're going to start at the bottom of the scale, where we see a familiar face. That's right, Next Generation is here to trash another Virtual Boy game. Try to act surprised. Giving Wario Land a frustratingly low 2 out of 5, they called it a “competent” addition to platforming genre. “Wario Land even goes as far as to actually incorporate the Virtual Boy's 3D capabilities into the game. But it should be noted that the ability to leap forward and backward in the 3D plane does little to add to the actual gameplay. The 3D ability is really just an elaborate way of accessing familiar side-scrolling levels and bonus rooms. As Virtual Boy games go, Wario Land is innocuous enough. But ultimately the game doesn't feature any significant advancement in gameplay beyond the classic Mario game structure. Still, this is a game that will be welcome in the collection of any true Mario fan.”

Okay, so that wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement, but don't worry, the rest of the critics loved Wario Land. Nintendo Power gave it a score of 4.3 out of 5, making it the magazine's top-reviewed Virtual Boy game. They praised the “excellent use of 3D graphics and game elements,” calling it “lots of fun.” In fact, their only complaint was that “you'll want even more.”

As you might have already guessed, the highest score belongs to GamePro, who gave Wario Land a perfect 5 out of 5. They loved it. “This is the best Virtual Boy title to date. Based on Wario Land for the Game Boy, this one presents foreground and background action. Nicely drawn sprites and great sound effects round out this Virtual Boy winner, but you have to get used to controlling Wario in the multilayered levels.”

As expected, the critics (mostly) loved Wario Land. Nintendo Power and GamePro couldn't recommend it highly enough, while Next Generation dragged to score down with their contrarian take. The overall average is 75%, which is far too low in my opinion. This really is the best Virtual Boy game out there, and I would even argue that it's the best Wario game. Definitely give this one a shot.