Did you know that Sylvester Stallone will be turning 80 this year? For most of the 1980s, he was virtually indestructible, starring in blockbusters franchises that included Rambo, Rocky and a whole lot more. And he wasn't just another beefcake star, as Sylvester was one of the only action heroes to win an Oscar. Today, we're going to celebrate Sly Stallone by looking at Demolition Man on 3DO, Cliffhanger on Super NES and Rambo III on Genesis. Yeah, these are definitely Stallone games, but are any of them actually worth playing? To answer that question, I decided to flip through the pages of Electronic Gaming Monthly, GamePro, Super Play and more classic magazines that reviewed these games back when they first came out. Yo Adrian! It's time to draw first blood in this mumbly episode of Sylvester Stallone Review Crew!


It's safe to say that the Genesis launched at the height of Sylvester Stallone's career. Rocky IV brought in $300 million at the worldwide box office and audiences were eager to see him team-up with Kurt Russel in Tango & Cash. And while Sega could have bet big that the arm-wrestling drama Over the Top would be the next big thing, they opted instead for the safe bet, putting all of their chips on John Rambo. Although it was released around the same time as Taito's arcade run ‘n gun shooter of the same name, Rambo III on the Genesis was a brand-new overhead shooter that more closely resembled games like Ikari Warriors and Commando (the Capcom game, not the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie). This was one of the first games released on the Genesis, released at a time when Sega was using fast-paced action and arcade-style graphics as the reason to buy their next-generation system. Let's see if the critics liked Rambo III: The Game as much as Rambo III: The Movie.

We're going to kick things off with Electronic Gaming Monthly, which was a little mixed on Rambo III, giving it an average of 6.5 out of 10. Jim was one of the two critics to give the game a 6: “Rambo III isn't a large game, but what it does contain is done very well. Each of the rounds give you a different objective, and the multiple weapons help spice up the killing mayhem. The bonus rounds look very good, as do the digitized pix, but the smaller 2 meg size of the game hurts it slightly.” Steve liked it a bit more, arguing that “Rambo III is essentially the Genesis' answer to Commando and other scrolling shooting games. What makes Rambo different are the self-contained environments that allow you to explore and the first-person bonus scenes between the missions. A bit short, but lots of options and color make this one fun.”

Now, before we move onto the good scores, let's first check in with Game Zone and their horrible takes. They gave Rambo a 2 out of 6, and, well, this is what they said: “Crap film, crap actor, crap game. Nuff said?” Is that a question?

When we cross that EGM divide, we see that most of the rest of the magazines gave Rambo III roughly the same scores. Raze went with a solid 80%, while Computer & Video Games went a bit higher with an 85%. MegaTech went all the way up to an 87%, but the magazine I want to look at is Mean Machines. Giving it an 86%, Julian concludes that “Rambo III features loads of dead bodies, tons of explosions and no dialogue – just like the film, in fact! The main sprite is suitably Ramboesque, and the backgrounds and other sprites are excellent. The music and crunchy sound effects are also a very high standard. The game itself isn't too difficult, and most players should be able to complete it within a week or so. Well worth a look if you're into military shoot ‘em ups ... or as Rambo would say: “mmgh rbll mrsh frbsh.”

Believe it or not, the highest review belongs to Computer Entertainer, who ended up giving it a score of 3.5 out of 4. “This is a straight forward shoot ‘em up which will be enjoyed by all who like the challenge of trying to gun down the enemy before they gun you down. This version has been nicely enhanced in not only graphics but gameplay as well from the original version available on the Sega 8-bit machine. Recommended.”

Although it was quickly forgotten as better shooters hit the Genesis, the critics were largely impressed by Rambo III. Even with GameZone and EGM threatening to drag the score down, the overall average ended up at 75%. It would actually be an even more impressive 81% if we ditched that “crap” GameZone review, but that's not how things work around here. We can't just ignore a magazine because it's GameZone, even if we really want to.

After mostly playing tough and serious movie heroes throughout the 1980s, Sylvester Stallone loosened up a bit for the 90s, starting with questionable comedies like Oscar and Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. While those mostly missed the mark, Demolition Man was able to find the balance between humor and action that audiences were looking for, giving us a scary look into the distant future of 2032, when Taco Bell is the last restaurant standing. We could talk about the Genesis or Super NES versions of Demolition Man, but I would rather focus on the 3DO take, which tried to blend third person shooting with 2D street fighting. It also features a bunch of story telling devices, including comic book strips and even digitized versions of the key actors. Demolition Man had a lot going for it. Let's see if the critics felt it lived up to all that potential.

Since EGM didn't review this version, we're going to instead start at the bottom and just work our way up. We'll see how that goes. Our first stop is Next Generation, who actually reviewed Demolition Man in their very first issue. It's technically their second review, behind only Alone in the Dark. Giving it a 2 out of 5, they concluded that “We'll concede an extra point for sheer verve. Demolition Man follows a well-established pattern by taking an existing game and adds digitized goodies to spruce up what's an unoriginal design. But the game then goes a step further by aping no less than four different kinds of game – an Operation Wolf style shooting gallery, a side-view fighting game, a driving game and a Doom rip-off. It sure breaks things up and keeps you on your toes, and if any of the individual stages were crafted very well, it might have worked. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.”

For what it's worth, Next Generation was the outlier when it came to Demolition Man. In fact, the next lowest score almost doubles that 2 out of 5. Game Informer ended up giving the Sylvester Stallone game a solid 7.7 out of 10, while VideoGames: The Ultimate Gaming Magazine (their boast, not mine) gave it a nice round 8 out of 10. “Let me tell you, Demolition Man is just about everything you could ever want from a video game. The excitement will pop your top. But it's still got its problems. Whatever you do, don't use the 3DO controller during the shooting gallery scenes. With the right controller, the shooting is a lot of fun. But nothing really seems to help the fighting sequences. The additional gameplay is a good idea, but a fighting game it is not. Sly is difficult to control and he just doesn't have a lot of moves. Otherwise, Demolition Man is a game you'd want to own for your 3DO.”

As we continue to climb up the scale, we see Hyper give Demolition Man an 82%, while Die Hard Game Fan went three ticks higher, going with an average score of 85%. When it comes to the highest marks, that, of course, comes from GamePro, which went all the way up to a 4.5 out of 5. Despite the near perfect score, their wrap up was surprisingly critical: “The fighting stages don't really stand up because the attacks feel stalled, and once you've beaten Phoenix, the fighting in later stages is repetitive because of the limited number of moves. But the first-person search and destroy action reigns supreme. Until someone ports Doom over to the 3DO, those controls are as effective as you can get. It doesn't matter if Siskel and Ebert gave the flick two thumbs up or two thumbs down; your thumb will be busy blasting away with Demo Man's shooting action. Trigger-happy gamers should definitely aim for this disc.”

Just in case you were wondering, Siskel and Ebert ended up giving Demoition Man a split decision, with Roger recommending it and Gene complaining about the action. As for the 3DO game, everybody agreed that the fighting game elements are a bust. The only question was how much that alone was going to affect the score. With most critics recommending the game, Demolition Man earned an average score of 76%. Looks like Next Generation stepped in to play the part of GameZone. There's always an outlier pulling the score down.

In the same year when Sylvester Stallone fought Wesley Snipes in the futuristic San Angeles, he was in the much more grounded action film Cliffhanger. Despite mostly being set on a dangerous mountainside, Sony Imagesoft was quick to get the game out on home consoles. In fact, developer Malibu Interactive was so fast that the Super NES version of Cliffhanger came out just five months after the blockbuster movie, just in time to take advantage of the movie going to rental. The game is basically a Final Fight rip-off, only instead of fighting on the street, every single level is on snow and ice. Let me tell you, this is one of the whitest games you'll ever play. Let's bundle up and see what the critics said.

Electronic Gaming Monthly was not impressed. Not at all. They gave the brawler a 4.75 out of 10, with nobody on staff recommending it. Martin wasn't even sure it was worth writing about: “There really isn't much worth mentioning about this game. I tried to give it a chance, but I just couldn't. First of all, the animation was not up to par, which added to the poor gameplay. Second, the graphics are nothing to scream about. Although it's set in the snowy mountains, it seemed like a two-color game with whites and grays. I got tired of the game very easily and gladly turned it off. Other than that, it's just fair.” Steve liked it a bit more than Martin, but still only gave it a 6: “Cliffhanger is a poor man's Double Dragon. It's just too choppy to keep my interest. The same bad guys show up over and over, and the gameplay is not there. The graphics are pretty good, and the scenes with the avalanche are particularly exciting, but I just couldn't get into this cart. This would be best suited for fans of the movie, or those die-hard players who much have a side-scrolling fighting game.”

Okay, so EGM didn't like the game, but neither did GamePlayers, which went with a straight 4 out of 10. And that's nothing compared to Super Play, who went all the way down to, get this, a 22%. “The animation is straight out of a 1934 Polish cartoon, the enemies come in a very limited number of flavors, and both the quantity and quality of the combat moves available are laughable by modern gaming standards. Worst of all, it's slow and repetitive. The graphics are really basic, but then snow has never been the most visually exciting stuff in the world. This is a fourth-rate and wholly derivative game that will appeal to no one, not even Sly fans.”

Now, when it comes to the critics that actually liked Cliffhanger, there aren't many. In fact, I wouldn't classify the rest of the magazines as “liking” it, but rather just not hating it as much as Super Play. Nintendo Power, for example, gave it a 3 out of 5. Hyper ended up giving it the highest score, a weak 64%: “The game is quite well drawn and animated, and although the fighting action can become monotonous, it's a pretty good frolic, especially the realistic knife swishes. You also have to jump ice chasms and indulge in some enjoyable climbing action, complicated by ugly brutes trying to shoot you at the same time. There's seven levels of play and even if the movie added nothing to the sum of Western thought, this is a better than average movie tie-in. The bad news is that the average movie tie-in is usually lame, but here Sly has, to a qualified extend, come up trumps.”

Yeah, he praised the knife swishes. That's how you know you're desperate for good things to say. Look, this one isn't even close, the critics didn't like Cliffhanger. The overall average is just 47%, which is quite a bit lower than the movie's 59% average over at MetaCritic. I'm not going to say this game is worse than the movie, but it's definitely more boring.