For the past eight years, Defunct Games has been there showing you the good, bad and ridiculous happenings at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles, California. E3 2009 is no exception, only this time around we're not going to bother you with pointless previews and hands-on articles. This year we've decided to give gamers what they want ... POETRY! Over the next five days I am going to update this page with haikus about all of the newest games and announcements. Best of all, I am going to be posting new updates all throughout the day and night, so come back for more new haikus and personal thoughts. Now if you don't mind, I have a major gaming event to cover!
E3 SHOW FLOOR - DAY 3
THE BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM HAIKU
[ Company: Eidos - Time: 2:55 PM ]
Send villains elsewhere.
Two words: Super-Max prison.
Where they are won't do!
THE BRUTAL LEGEND LAWSUIT HAIKU
[ Company: Activision - Time: 3:00 PM ]
Activision sues.
You already had your chance.
So get over it!
THE XBOX 360 LIFESPAN HAIKU
[ Company: Microsoft - Time: 3:05 PM ]
A ten year lifespan?
Will we even live that long?
Larry Hryb wishes!
THE SHADOW COMPLEX HAIKU
[ Company: Microsoft - Time: 3:10 PM ]
It will be pricey.
Cliffy B has got to eat.
That I know for sure.
THE JAK & DAXTER PSP HAIKU
[ Company: Sony - Time: 3:15 PM ]
Daxter goes 4D.
Mario couldn't do that.
Even though Blinx did.
THE MARIO VS. DONKEY KONG HAIKU
[ Company: Nintendo - Time: 3:20 PM ]
It's out in a week.
So why even cover it?
Oh look, it's Punch-Out!!
THE SHOES OF AN AVATAR HAIKU
[ Company: Microsoft - Time: 3:50 PM ]
Those are some nice shoes.
What do the bottoms look like?
Well BAM, there it is!
THE TONY HAWK RIDE WEIGHT LIMIT HAIKU
[ Company: Activision - Time: 3:55 PM ]
HEY, GET OFF OF ME!
Go play some Wii Fit, fatty!
Gotta slim down first!
THE ZEPHYR: RISE OF THE ELEMENTS HAIKU
[ Company: Activision - Time: 4:15 PM ]
You play a wind storm.
Taking out those mobile homes.
Yup, it's going to blow!
THE MY FRIENDS DS HAIKU
[ Company: Oxygen Int. - Time: 4:20 PM ]
I don't like these friends.
They lie, steal and make bad jokes.
Like my real friends.
THE R.U.S.E. HAIKU
[ Company: UbiSoft - Time: 4:30 PM ]
It looks really cool.
An MS Surface bundle?
That sounds expensive!
THE BIOSHOCK 2 HAIKU
[ Company: 2K Games - Time: 4:35 PM ]
You shouldn't exist.
Andrew Ryan has been killed.
It's just a cash-in.
THE MASS EFFECT 2 HAIKU
[ Company: BioWare - Time: 4:40 PM ]
It sure does look good.
But I'll never finish it.
Much like the first game.
THE MONSTER HUNTER 3 WII HAIKU
[ Company: Capcom - Time: 4:45 PM ]
Japan will love it.
But U.S. gamers don't care.
We'll stick with Halo.
THE MODERN WARFARE 2 HAIKU 2
[ Company: ACTIVISION - Time: 4:55 PM ]
Something is different.
They dropped the "Call of Duty".
They hung up the phone.
THE DEAD TO RIGHTS RETRIBUTION HAIKU
[ Company: NAMCO BANDAI - Time: 5:00 PM ]
A boy and his dog.
You need a sense of humor.
You are too gritty.
SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2 HAIKU 2
[ Company: Nintendo - Time: 5:05 PM ]
It's mostly new stuff.
At least that's what they tell us.
Looks the same to me.
THE DISNEY SING IT! POP HITS HAIKU
[ Company: Disney - Time: 5:10 PM ]
Hey, it's Joe Jonas!
OMG, it's Miley, too!
Who are these people?
THE 101 in 1 PARTY MEGAMIX HAIKU
[ Company: Atlus - Time: 5:20 PM ]
Now coming to Wii?
Time to sell your system now.
This MegaMix sucks!
THE DISSIDIA: FINAL FANTASY HAIKU
[ Company: Square Enix - Time: 5:20 PM ]
What should I call this?
Final Fantasy fighting?
It's Smash Bros. with Cloud!
THE MY HERO: FIREFIGHTER HAIKU
[ Company: Majesco - Time: 5:30 PM ]
There goes My Hero.
Watch him as he fights fires.
He's ordinary!
THE DEAD SPACE EXTRACTION HAIKU
[ Company: Electronic Arts - Time: 10:25 PM ]
You are stuck on rails.
Kind of like House of the Dead.
How scary is that?
THE SILENT HILL: SHATTERED MEMORIES HAIKU
[ Company: Konami - Time: 10:35 PM ]
You're clutching your chest.
Shush, the game isn't that bad!
Oh, it's a seizure??
THE AFRIKA (PS3) HAIKU
[ Company: Sony - Time: 10:40 PM ]
Oh hey, it exists.
Palin thinks it's a country.
Talk about stupid.
THE CLOSE OF E3 2009 HAIKU
[ Company: Sony - Time: 10:45 PM ]
The circus returns.
Haven't they learned their lesson?
I need to escape!
