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Game Expectancy
Tomb Raider: When Will Lara Croft Die?
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on November 14, 2011   |   Episode 4 (Show Archive)  

   

Lara Croft (in Tomb Raider Anniversary)!
Have you ever wondered how old your favorite video game character will be when they die? Defunct Games puts that question to the test. By studying the lives of gaming's biggest stars, we are able to accurately predict when they'll croak.

(Note: All characters start at 79 years old, the national average for life expectancy.)

NAME: Lara Croft

BORN: February 14, 1968

GAMOGRAPHY: Every Tomb Raider game ever made. She was most recently seen in Guardians of Light, which is totally not a Tomb Raider game.

BIOGRAPHY: Don't let her slender build and unrealistically large breasts fool you, Lara Croft is one adventurer you don't want to mess with. This is a woman who has no trouble traversing tough terrain and battling dinosaurs. Her sexy exterior and action-filled games helped make her one of the most recognizable characters in video game history. Beyond starring in ten different games, Lara has also been seen in two Hollywood movies (with a third on the way).



A SEXY YOUNG WOMAN

Lara is easy on the eyes. Studies
prove that the most attractive in our
society tend to live longer than the
schlumps ... and she's no schlump!
Adjustment: +5


WEALTHY

Comes from a wealthy family. This
has helped her maintain a healthy
lifestyle and will pay for all medical
bills should she ever need a doctor.
Adjustment: +3


ADVENTURE SEEKER

Her thirst for adventure cannot be
quenched. No matter how harrowing
things get, Lara lives her life
as if it was her last!
Adjustment: -5


IN EXCELLENT SHAPE

The fact that Lara can quickly climb
walls, jump over large gaps, fight
animals and push huge crates is
a testament to her exercise routine!
Adjustment: +4


NON-EXISTENT LOVE LIFE

Despite the many possible suitors, Lara
has little interest in dating. Her
passion is thrill seeking and has no
time for marriage, kids and a family.
Adjustment: -4


SHELTERED UPBRINGING

Was home schooled after her mother
passed away. Her sheltered upbringing
may result in social problems, which
may explain the love life.
Adjustment: -2


IS WELL CONNECTED

Never underestimate the importance of being
well connected. Her friends/associates
are there to look out for her and
keep her life and well.
Adjustment: +3


NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

In her short time on this planet, Lara
has been in a plane crash, crushed by
rocks and survived a boat accident.
That has to take a toll.
Adjustment: -7


INCREDIBLY LUCKY

Not even an airplane crash can keep Lara
down. This is a girl that knows how
to get out of a tough situation
each and every time.
Adjustment: +7


A GOOD PROBLEM SOLVER

Lara is excellent with puzzles. She
has been able to crack ancient puzzles
in minutes flat. Take that
Christopher Columbus!
Adjustment: +2


Life Expectancy - 85 Years Old (1968 - 2053): Assuming she can keep herself from getting shot by a thug, eaten by a dinosaur or dragged to Hell by supernatural creatures, Lara Croft should be just fine. Her training has prepared her for just about any tragedy and she's incredibly lucky. What's more, there's no sign of family illnesses and she neither drinks nor smokes. Given her good genes and ability to get out of tough scrapes, Lara Croft should live to the ripe old age of 85.

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