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Level 1
Abadox (Level 1)
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on August 18, 2011   |   Episode 20 (Show Archive)  

   

Welcome to Level 1. Every week we look at a random game's very first level. It doesn't matter what kind of game it is or what system it's for -- we're here to dissect the game's first level and see what it tells us about the rest of the game. I promise you an eye-opening experience in each episode! This week we take on another 2D shooter. It's time for Abadox, Milton Bradley's disgusting action game for the NES. Find out what makes this game so nauseating as we test out Level 1!
Abadox (Milton Bradley)
[ Release: 1990 - Console: Nintendo Entertainment System ]
Abadox (NES)
Abadox (NES)
It's hard to believe that Abadox wasn't controversial upon its release. While it doesn't have photo-realistic graphics of Mortal Kombat or over-the-top limb chopping of Time Killers, this 8-bit Milton Bradley shooter is definitely disturbing. This is a game about a brave soldier who travels inside an alien creature to destroy it from the inside. Watch as he avoids guts, blood and a whole host of weird baddies. Gross! But every disgusting adventure has to start somewhere, let's push start on Abadox and play through Level 1.

Level 1 - Mysterious Planet: Everybody tells me how lucky I am. They talk about the songs that will be written about my bravery and how school children the world over will be forced to memorize my name. But I don't buy it. What can one man do against a horde of aliens? If I was in charge I would
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
have made more than one of these killer space suits, but I'm just the unlucky sap who pulled the short straw. Damn my luck.

I've resigned myself to this mission. I know that it's my job to suit up and fly deep into the enemy's base and destroy them from the inside. We don't know who they are or what they want, we just know they're violent and looking to kill the remaining human population. I cannot let that happen. Everybody is counting
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
on me to take this war to the aliens. It's a suicide mission, and I'm the one holding the razor blade.

Nobody else is more qualified than me to pilot this space suit, that I assure you. I've spent the better part of the last three years doing drills and honing my game. I'm ready for whatever they throw at me. I give the thumbs-up to let my team know I'm ready to go. And just like that, they slingshot me as close to the enemy world as possibly. The most I can do now is pray.

I land next to a large orange planet. The ground has a strange rock pattern; it reminds me of the spaghetti my mother used to make. I can't hover in one
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
place for too long, I need to start making my way around this planet and find the opening. I'm told to look for a cave opening, but all I see is rocky terrain and downed spaceships. Clearly I'm not the first person to have the misfortune of investigating this deserted planet.

Did I say deserted? I immediately regret my words as I see a pair of eyes racing towards me. Usually eyes don't scare me. I've seen plenty of different eyes in my line of work. But
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
never have I see scooped-out eyeballs try to run into me. And don't look now, because here comes a flock of mouths. I'm not going to lie; this planet is starting to freak me out.

Just as I start to lose hope I notice a new weapon floating above the planet. This spread gun should give me the fighting chance
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet
Abadox - Level 1: Mysterious Planet!
I need to take down these disgusting body parts. And suddenly fear sets in. I know I have the weaponry to take down eyeballs, but will I be able to battle ears and a nose? What if the body parts go further north? I would hate to fight an entire leg.

There's one good thing about a warzone: You don't have time to worry about the what-ifs. Right now I need to keep myself alive, and the only way to do that is to get to that cave. And just like that, I see where I'm
Abadox - Boss - Skeletal Dog
Abadox - Boss - Skeletal Dog!
supposed to go. Unfortunately, it's blocked by what appears to be a skeletal dog. My day just keeps getting better.

Boss - Skeletal Dog: Back home everybody is getting on with their lives. Kids played in the yard, dad worked all day at the office and television shows aired on time. It was a regular Thursday back home. As I think about it I can almost feel the sun pressing against my face. When I get back home I'm never going to stay instead on a nice day. From here on out I will embrace the sun for as long as I live. The sun has never done me wrong.

Oh, did I mention that there's a huge skeletal dog trying to pounce on my space suit? I snap back into action, quickly dodging the canine's attacks. He leaps from one side to the next, growling every time he misses me. If I'm going win I better get behind him. As he leaps towards me I speed my way to the other side of the mountain. Pressed against the cavern, I close
Abadox - Boss - Skeletal Dog
Abadox - Boss - Skeletal Dog!
my eyes and pull the trigger. For what seems like the next hour I keep pulling the trigger hoping for the best.

As I open my eyes I'm greeted by the dead body of the skeletal dog. His bones have been scattered around the mountain, deeply wedged into the dirt. I'm free to keep looking for the mysterious entrance. There I will be able to take down this alien menace once and for all. Let's hope my luck keeps up.

What Have We Learned Today: Planning is important. It's true, planning is the kind of thing that can dramatically change your chances of winning an all-out alien war. If there's even the hint of aliens killing every man, woman and child, then invest a few bucks in more than one space suit. Get a few of them, maybe even a hundred or more. Seriously, it
Abadox - Level 2!
Abadox - Level 2!
might be important to go in with more than just one guy. This is the future of the human race we're talking about, do a little planning next time.

What Did We Miss: Although you wouldn't know it by the first stage, Abadox is about a guy who decides to fly into the belly of the alien and kill it from the inside. And when I say belly, I'm not talking about some home base where they are stationed. I'm talking about his actual
Innerspace (Poster)
I'm sure it holds up, right?
belly, the place he stores food. You missed out on a disgusting journey through alien plumbing. If you think the floating eyeballs are gross, just wait until you see what these guys look like on the inside. Phew, we narrowly dodged a bullet there.

What Dennis Quaid Says: "Hey man, it's your pal Dennis Quaid here to give you some pointers. You may not know this about me, but I'm the foremost expert on getting shrunk down and injected into a body. That's right; I was literally shot into another person's body in the 1987 masterpiece, Innerspace. Take it from me, going into another person's body is the last thing you want to do. At first you'll think it's fun and games, but you'll be wrong. Going into my movie-girlfriend's body put me off of sex for a decade. A full decade, man. And look at me; I'm one of the sexiest men alive, so you can imagine how hard it was to be disgusted by the sight of a woman. It was enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out. I'm telling you, don't go inside that thing. You'll go in a rational human being and come out a monster!"
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