"What does the future hold? You just might meet Freddy in your nightmares or take a shower in Psycho."

"Unfortunately, the street address is on Oblivion Road in the town of Nowhere, USA."

"You might not want to face Mad Dog until you get your shots."

"The simple looking Virtual Boy maintains Nintendo's reputation for finely crafted hardware."

"Always take Zipper's advice: '..... ... ..... ..'." #thanksfortheadvice #dick

"One cause of [Game Gear dead pixel] burnout is pausing the game too long."

"Someone call the Vice President! Traditional family values are seriously in jeopardy here!"

"Until Cruis'n USA for the Ultra 64 arrives, [Ridge Racer] is the king of the track."

"A centipede the size of a hot dog scurries up your leg. Man, do you HATE the South American jungle!"

"Hey kids, can you spell 'geography'?" #spellingbee #fail

"Word has it that Sega's inflatable Sonic was later found slashed at the bottom of the pool."

"First things first: Don't wiggle your Genesis."

"Everyone can pretty much agree that Soul Calibur II was a big disappointment."