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Cover Critic
Around this next bend will be something worth ...
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on March 27, 2003   |   Episode 42 (Show Archive)  

   
A lot has changed since the last time we featured an episode of the Cover Critic. Both Sony and Nintendo have released new portable game systems, long time companies have shut their doors forever, and the world has been reintroduced to a certain lawyer named Jack Thompson. Heck, even this site you're looking at has changed in many ways. So maybe it's time we take another serious look at video game covers, letting you know which ones we like and which we hate. After two years I invite you to embrace a brand new Cover Critic, one that isn't afraidto tell you what we really think. So enjoy five new covers and one new look!

Zone of the Enders: Anubis (PS2)
It's been a few months since we opened up the Cover Critic. And in the time we've been away a lot has happened. We have been given good games, and quite a few bad games. But one thing I've noticed, no matter the quality of the game, they all seem to have pretty crummy box art. So we thought we'd shuffle through the various covers and show you just what we mean. Today we are going to start with a good cover, at least one that doesn't suck. This will be about the best we have for today, though. Anubis, or the 2nd Runner as it's known in the U.S., has a pretty snazzy anime cover. Problem is, as great as the artwork is on the box, the game is that much better. If the game looked worse, this cover may have been in the "A" range, but after playing the game, I think you'll see things from my point of view.


Amplitude (PS2)
HOLY CRAP!!! What the hell is this?? Now I wasn't all that crazy about the original Frequency cover but this doesn't even look like a game. This looks like one of those K-Tel covers, except without the usual polishing up you'd expect. I hate this cover. I hate everything about this cover. I hate how the names of the bands, a few of whom I even enjoy listening to, are screaming out of the speaker. I hate how the color turns me away from even picking the game up. I hate how the name doesn't look like any time or attention was given to it. It pains me to say that, since I absolutely love the game. But truth be told, this is one of the worst covers I have ever seen. Ever.


Primal (GCN)
Alright, I don't hate this. In many ways it's better than the European cover, but there's still something that doesn't sit correctly with me. Could it be that look she has, like that one tim my girlfriend caught me eating out of the garbage can. Or maybe it's the mirror image behind the lady, the one that you know has a few bad things to say about that thing you're wearing. Actually, let's talk about that thing she's wearing on the cover. I wouldn't mind seeing a little more of that dress. Damn ... I guess that's the hook. THAT'S how they'll get me to buy this. Dammit, there's always a hook. No matter, I actually like this cover, I just wish there was more style, and it didn't look as, well, generic. Oh, on a side note: I really like the logo, I'm interested in seeing what they do when they put forth a sequel.


The King of Route 66 (PS2)
Ah yes, the cover that looks like a mud flap. While I'm not against such a cover, I can't get over how bad this game is. I mean, who would want to play a game where the levels last no longer than your average bathroom trip?? And if that wasn't enough, the game cheats, it's amazingly frustrating, and lacks any real direction. I like how simple this cover is, but it might give people the idea that it is actually a worth while game. Of course, then I realize, any chances of people thinking this was a good game were squashed when they read the name, King of Route 66. Should the quality of the product have any baring on the review of the cover, probably not, but this is my site, and you'll have to put up with some unfair business practices.


Ace Lightning (PS2)
Ace Lightning?? What about Buzz Firecracker?? Where's the Maxx Thunder?? The terrible names go on and on. This wacky little European game is one of the silliest things I've ever seen, complete with one of the silliest names I've been witness to. Oddly enough, I should have more to say about something like this, after all, it's one of those games ripe for sarcastic comments. But I'm dry. Completely out of things to say. Could it be because this update has been so lame? Well, sure, we'll go with that.


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