When Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart write the famous song "Isn't It Romantic?" I bet they never thought that it would inspire two tomato lovers to go on a giant video game adventure. Yet that's just about the only way I can explain Bill's Tomato Game. Now I know I do a lot of joking in these columns, but there's just something very special about seeing two tomatoes holding hands running from what looks like a truck full of thousands of ambiguous fruits. The lady tomato (whose main distinction isn't her difference in genitalia or milk-supplying mammaries, but rather the fact that she has mascara on) looks concerned, but her boyfriend looks like he's ready for a big fight ahead. Good thing they have arms, though it does seem a bit odd that none of the other tomatoes in the picture have arms, legs, hands and feet. Weird.

But even though this cover is simply ridiculous, I'm actually a little disappointed this game didn't sell more units and spawn a hit franchise. I'm the kind of guy that wants to know what my fruits and vegetables are doing when I'm not around. The dark underbelly of these supposedly good-for-you foods is what I'm all about, especially when it comes to the inner species rivalry and all of the politics (I bet those eggplant elections are a real bitch). But in truth I would loved to have seen Jimmy's Rutabaga Game, Holly's Apple Game, and the awkwardly titled Barry's Cumquat Game. And maybe in those future installments Psygnosis could go ahead and explain why that squirrel in the tree looks like it was hit with enough volts of electricity to raise a dead camel from the grave.