It's not often that I look at a game's box and find myself completely baffled. Yet here I am staring at King of Clubs, the PlayStation 2 game from Oxygen Games, and I am absolutely speechless. What kind of game is this? Is this the long awaited story of Elvis told through interactive movie clips? Is this the game that finally pits a caveman against a space man? Is there a reason the knight in the background hasn't taken that arrow out of his helmet? But the most perplexing question of them all, why is it called King of Clubs and what does that have to do with this wacky cast of characters?

My guess is that it's a kart racing game, but at this point it could be just about anything. What it isn't is exciting. There is nothing on this cover that makes me want to find out what the game is all about, not the Elvis impersonator, not the tiki man and certainly not the caveman. When the graphics on the box aren't very good it makes you wonder what kind of visual experience you're getting yourself into. And even if you buy into the idea that it's not about the graphics because gameplay is king, that still doesn't change the fact that this game apparently stars Elvis, a knight and a caveman. A caveman, people. Has anything good ever come from a caveman? I think not. With a name like King of Clubs they want me to guess that it's a casino game or some sort of wacky desert themed action game, but I think that's too obvious. I still say that King of Clubs is a kart racing game, sort of like Mario Kart with Elvis. At this point I really don't care what kind of game it is, because I'm going to be extremely disappointed if King of Clubs isn't a kart racing game. Perhaps we should move on.