I always like it when the name of the game is so descriptive. This is Bump 'N' Jump, the second game by Vic Tokai we've reviewed in this episode of The Cover Critic. Bump 'N' Jump sounds like it could be any one of the countless Mario-clones released on the NES, but it's actually a racing game that features you and your chubby girlfriend. When you add in the plus-sized woman into the equation all of a sudden the name Bump 'N' Jump has a completely different meaning.

But I digress ... this cover doesn't work for me for a couple of reasons. For one thing, couldn't they find a vehicle that could fit both characters? Apparently the car they chose wasn't even big enough for one person, let alone your fatso girlfriend in back. The main character can't even keep his legs in the car and the girl isn't doing much better with her foot up against the wheel. And the placement of the exhaust seems especially dangerous, if the vehicle decides to accelerate it looks like your Monica Lewinsky look alike girlfriend is going to get a mouth full of pollution. Oh, and while I'm at it, why is there bumping and jumping in a car? Shouldn't the name of the game be Crash 'N' Burn or something? Cars don't jump and a little bumping isn't that big of a deal. And seriously, why did this guy decide to bring his lard ass girlfriend on the adventure? Wouldn't it be a better use of her time to be home doing the Stair Master while watching reruns of Mad About You? Use your noggins, that car just isn't big enough for the two and a half of you!