"You call that a knife? THIS is a knife." And this, my friends, is The Adventure of Bayou Billy, a game that I almost feel bad talking about. Set long before Hurricane Katrina ripped through Louisiana, Bayou Billy is the story of a simple man who hates wearing shirts, loves battling crocodiles and has a really, really big knife. Just take a look at that blade, that thing is almost bigger than the box (it's certainly bigger than his jeep). It's funny to see what the Japanese video game makers think of us Americans, clearly it's all about being shirtless and ready to kill at a moment's notice (I don't know about you, but that's certainly how I live my life). But beyond the silly name, stereotyping and complete lack of realism, The Adventures of Bayou Billy is still regarded as a good game. I won't kid you; if this game popped up on the Virtual Console I might just have to buy it ... I certainly remember having a good time with this as a kid.

But forget the game play and how crazy it is to have Konami make a game set in New Orleans; we're here to talk about why this is one terrible cover. What I love about this box art is that they aren't afraid to throw in every action movie clich? and southern stereotype they can think of. You have the guy killing people from his jeep, some historic landmark blowing up, a big fat guy (who smokes, that's how you know he's evil), a busty woman, and the shirtless wonder (who can't be bothered to buy a real belt, hence the makeshift rope belt). He's so cool that even his leg has a bandana. He's so cool he's not afraid to rock a fanny pack. He's so cool that he's willing to mug for the camera while a croc growls mere feet from him. I bet he's not even going to wash his pants after playing in the water. Hell, this is probably the closest he gets to bathing. Bayou Billy, you are the man. But you know what? You would be even cooler in my book if you stopped playing around with that stupid croc and maybe, I don't know, GO RESCUE THAT HELPLESS GIRL!!! I mean, she's right behind you, just turn around and stab that smoker in his big old gut. I bet she'll be so overjoyed that she might even agree to sleep with you. Doesn't that sound awesome? Instead he just stands there mugging for the camera and playing with his crocodile. And that's why Bayou Billy is the man!