This commercial sucks! I can get on board with a quote like, "Mario's Way Cool." I mean, he is. I may not like every game he's in, but his adventures were among the first games I fell in love with. I can also get behind "Time Machine!!!" Time machines are cool; they open your story up to a lot of exciting twists and turns. But when you combine those two things to make "Mario's Way Cool Time Machine!!!" I can't help but feel sorry for that Italian Plumber. A time machine? Mario's world is exciting and filled with dinosaurs already, why on Earth (or wherever he is) would he want to go back in time? And why would anybody want to take this adventure? Oh, that's right; nobody did ... that's why this game is not in your library!

But ignore for a moment that Mario doesn't need to go back in time, just take a look at this commercial. In fact, click on it and take a good look at it up close. I'm not sure about anybody else, but the very first thing that I notice is that the dinosaur could not look any worse. Now, I know, dinosaurs have been long extinct for millions of years, but if they are going to go as far as to draw Mario and a time machine couldn't they go that extra step and draw a dinosaur too?? Take a look at that thing, it's clearly made out of plastic and taken out of some kids toy cabinet. You can practically see the marks from some toddler chewing on it. That's not the way to sell your game ... which might explain why nobody owns this product.

But the real reason that nobody owes Mario's Time Machine is not because of the fake dinosaur or the silly slogan ... the reason people don't own this game is because it's a learning product. Don't believe me? Take a look at the advert; it clearly states that you can "Travel With Mario In A Learning Adventure Through Time." How lame is that? And how about those screenshots? Instead of exciting 2D platforming action, you get pictures with text and school-like things. When was the last time you heard the phrase "way cool" used in connection with learning? And why would I want to learn with Mario when I can turn on Mario 3 and just have fun with him? Yup, that's the real reason nobody owns this game.

FROM: In the Heat of the Bad Advertising