We've been over this before; if you're going to promote a contest in your nationally distributed video game magazine you better make sure it's something people actually want to enter. The fact that you have free stuff to give away is not enough of a reason to hype up a contest, especially when it's something that you can't even pay people to take. This seems to be the case with our fourth advertisement, Game Fan's official Virtual Boy Contest, a competition that allows you to win Nintendo's very worst console (no, not the GameCube, the Virtual Boy silly).

In this commercial (which is really nothing more than a scan of the lame red and blue box art) Game Fan suggests that you can win big. Win big? Even if they gave away every single Virtual Boy game and a trip to Nintendo's headquarters some unlucky sap would still be stuck with a pile of terrible faux-3D games and a ticket to the rainiest place in the United States. You might as well trade in your ticket for a bus ride to your nearest dark alley and fight a bum ... or give him the Virtual Boy, it's not like you're ever going to use it.

Perhaps the funniest part of the entire advert is what you have to do to win this "great" prize. Apparently it's not enough to just fill out a card and send it in or maybe email the editors, instead you have to take a 3D picture of yourself (whatever that means). They say you can "draw it, shoot it, or just go wacky and be creative." How do I take a 3D picture with a camera? And if the winners are going to be chosen at random then why should anybody get "creative"? And to add insult to injury apparently you don't even need to follow those rules, because "there're really no rules." Yeah, great contest. The last thing it says is that it would help if you have played the Virtual Boy. Well, no offense Game Fan, but if you've actually played the Virtual Boy then chances are good you will want to steer clear of this lame contest. I think I'll wait until the Official Game Fan Mortal Kombat Advance Contest is announced.

FROM: America's Got Bad Advertising