So we call them Top Tens, we weren't the first, and we won't be the last. They are ten beautiful numbers that count down to something very good (or very bad). They can bring you tragedy, they can bring you love. But they all have one thing in common: They end at one! Of course, not all of these Top Ten lists are ten. Some are five and fifteen numbers long. Strange, but we still call them top ten lists. We figured that after a year we should take a look at the Top Ten Top Ten Lists. Maybe you'll agree with out list.
-Cyril Lachel
(Editors Note: At this point if you're reading this it's extremely old. We have at least twice as many Top Ten Lists now, which is good for the site, but bad for this list. These are great lists, but I assure you they only get better after Episode 30. So go on read through this list, but don't forget to read the rest, too.)
Top Ten Top Ten Lists!
Archive: Top Ten Lists
#10
420 Games of 420
420 Games of 420
It's not Tetris. But it is a frustrating rip off. How frustrating? After you spend the $50 to beat it the first time, you have to do it again with the second player! Not frustrated yet? Some pieces stick instantly, while others don't stick at all, and lead you to making mistakes. Still not frustrated? Play the game for 3 minutes, if you aren't frustrated, you're playing the wrong game!!
If THIS is what we have waiting for us in the future, you can send me back to 1980 right now!! Air Cars is a first generation Jaguar game that looks and plays like a fifth generation TurboDuo game. The simple graphics may work for speeds sake, but this game is slow as well. There is almost no point in playing this, and my only question, why we even have a review for it, who played that one ...
Sure there were worse Full Motion Video games, but this is the punching bag! Night Trap is a horrible game, and an even worse movie. Dana Plato, who really isn't that attractive, stumbles through this game waiting for you to memorize where all the "vampires" are. The only fun in this game? Watching the co-stars try to top Dana Plato's acting (which they don't).
Here we have a baseball game that DOESN'T recreate the feeling at all. Think World Series Baseball 2K is bad, you haven't played Virtual League Baseball then. For one it's impossible to tell when to hit the ball, and sometimes when the ball is hit, period. There is no two player option. The control is a mess. Just tragic.
If you've seen Die Hard the movie, y'know the one with Bruce Willis, you'll be more than a little confused by this game. In the movie, do you remember a jungle you had to fight through? How about a forest? Desert area? We didn't remember these locales either, leading us to believe that Die Hard the TurboDuo game is nothing more than a repackaged Predator game.
While the "Number 1" was a pretty easy choice, the choice for runner up was far more difficult. Strip Fighter 2 is a truly horrible game, appalling even, but it's the Legend of Success Joe takes the cake. The Legend of Success Joe isn't just frustrating, it's enough to make you stop playing games all together. Is it real? Or is it on tape?
At first you think Strip Fighter 2 is going to be okay. You see the half naked girl, you see the combatants, you're ready. Heck, you even kick some ass the first round. But the problem is that every so often, for no other reason than to annoy, the control just stops working. I'm not kidding. It just STOPS. You can't do much of anything. Great idea.
That's right, Kasumi Ninja. Even the horrible Ultra Vortex was better than Kasumi Ninja!! The graphics may have been pretty good, but somebody forgot to mention that "game play does matter". Note: The trend for digitized fighters pretty much dried up after this game.
Next time you decide to package a game with your system, make sure it's not the worst playing game available for the system. Atari chose Batman Returns as the pack in game based on name recognition, definitely not based on game play, as this game has none! The graphics are fine, but the game is so difficult to play you'll end up breaking your Lynx before you put another game in the system.
Without a doubt, the worst game I can think of is Myst. Sure it's pretty, but there is zero interaction what so ever. Myst may have sold a gazillion copies to unsuspecting consumers, but that certainly doesn't make it any better. Myst is only recommended if you enjoy yelling at your television, or you are a big fan self - inflicted comas.