defunct games > five reasons the 32x could not succeed

Today just happens to be April 20th, or, 420. Now, to some that may not mean anything, but to my generation, 420 is your basic slang for drugs, and drug use. And April 20 is the holiday for these devious acts.

So what? You may ask yourself, well, even though around the office at Defunct Games we do not promote drug use in any way, we are not blind to the fact that drugs have influenced pop culture for many years. And video games are no different. Where would we be without our drugs in movies, music, and writing? Drugs do a great job of influencing artistic avenues.

So Defunct Games brings you the TOP TEN GAMES TO PLAY HIGH. But that's only the Twenty. Below you will find the FOUR GAMES THAT MUST BE PLAYED HIGH TO BE ENJOYED. -Cyril Lachel

Top Four Games That Can Only Be Enjoyed High!

Archive: Top Ten Lists

#4
Strider 2

There are not enough drugs in the world to make me accept US Gold's sequel to Strider. Would you accept a sequel to Citizen Kane? How about another Schindler's List? Pulp Fiction 2? I didn't think so, and that's why anybody that has actually played a Strider game (either of the two Capcom arcade games, that is) knows that this is NOT strider, and is simply an insult to say it is. A game that should list what the programmers were smoking, and where they got it, so you can stick far far far away!

#3
Rise 2: The Resurrection

Push the button. Wait. Pass the bong. Wait. Take the Bong back. Wait. Button you pushed FINALLY does something on the screen!

#2
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

You have to clothing shop. You have to make food for your friends in a fast food joint. You have to strut your stuff on the run way. And you have to dance. If I wanted to do these things in real like I certainly wouldn't be writing an article about drugs. If you are like most PlayStation owners, I have a funny feeling Drugs should come WITH this game.

#1
Myst

It's going to take a drug extremely powerful to make Myst entertaining. And it's going to take something even stronger than that to make Myst interesting to anybody watching and not playing the game. Myst is as entertaining as a choose your own adventure that's not in a language you can read! However, with the help of drugs you may be able to withstand the puzzles that are just guessing games.

(On to The Top Twenty Games to Play On Drugs)

Time: 420

When you're done checking out our site, there are some other 420's you may want to check out to celebrate this day in history.

There's 420.com, which features quite a bit of places to chat, read bbs', and much much more. Though, don't be confused by similarly titled 420.org, which has a bunch of great information about 420 related Bands (read: Dave Matthews, Blues Travelor, etc.). A pretty interesting site.

But, if that kind of 420 isn't your thing, you should check out British 420 Class Association, which has much more to do with sailing, and competing. It's actually a pretty interesting page, and documents a lot of what has gone on for this team. Extremely interesting.