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Great Moments in GamePro Puns Vol. 3 - Bomberman, Little Nemo & More!
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on April 15, 2016   |   Episode 52 (Show Archive)  

And now, Great Moments in GamePro Puns, a short collection of unbearably punny prose by the pros at GamePro magazine. This is presented as a lesson for how not to end a video game review.

Bomberman II (NES): "Bomberman II is a blast from the past with enough new options to please any gamer. The two- and three-player options are especially explosive. B2 or not B2? The answer is simple."

Dragon Crystal (Game Gear): "Dragon Crystal is great fun. It's a top quality game that sets high standards for Game Gear carts to come. Even the music's not bad. This adventure can go on forever (but six AA's last under three hours, so get an AC adaptor), there are no passwords, you must nab mucho gold to continue, and dying mixes up all the magic powers! But Dragon Crystal definitely doesn't drag-on."

Little Nemo: The Dream Master (NES): "The Princess tried to kiss me for saving her dad (apparently he was a King, too), but I told her 'no thanks.' Girls ... blechhh! Her land was incredibly beautiful, so I agreed to visit her again. I'm a sucker for colorful places. But I made her promise ... no kissy stuff!"

M.C. Kids (NES): "Seasoned Nintendonians will be able to run, jump and spin through this cart's six worlds in a couple of days, but it's just right for its target audience -- younger kids. M.C. Kids will tantalize you with its puzzles and secrets, while making you hungry for some good ol' Mickey D's."

Mendel Palace (NES): "You may think you're too old to play with dolls but reserve your judgment until you've checked out this title. Ever-clever Hudson Soft has created yet another original game at a time when we're seeing fewer and fewer carts that featuring anything original or innovative. And it's nice to see a title with a theme that seems to be oriented towards the growing ranks of female gamers! Hello, dolly!"

Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective (TurboGrafx-CD): "If mystery is your game, Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective is the name. The cases are hot, and you'll learn to live with the interface. If you aspire to be a great detective, this game will definitely take you to school -- elementary, of course."

Valis II (TurboGrafx-CD): "Valis II's fascinating animation and sound taps into the CD's awesome gamemaking potential, although CD games still have a ways to go. Valis scores high in most respects, but the overall challenge for anyone experienced with video blades is average. Just the same, Valis II is both a good animated adventure and a pretty good action game -- CD or not CD."

Zombie Nation (NES): "What's going on at Meldac! This shooter's big time fun, it looks tough, it's weird ... but when the going gets weird, the weird get going. Zombie Nation's definitely heads and shoulders above the rest."

Well, that was dumb. But if you want to see more videos like the one above, please make sure and subscribe to our fledgling YouTube channel. We're posting reviews, essays, playthroughs and contents every week, and it sure would be nice if you joined the conversation.


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