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Great Moments in GamePro Puns Vol. 2 - Kirby, Streets of Rage & More
By Cyril Lachel     |   Posted on July 20, 2015   |   Episode 51 (Show Archive)  

   
And now, Great Moments in GamePro Puns, a short collection of unbearably punny prose by the pros at GamePro magazine. This is presented as a lesson for how not to end a video game review.



Bio-Hazard Battle (Genesis): It's major thumb blister time! Bio-Hazard Battle is one of the best shoot-em-ups to come flying into the Genesis in awhile. The graphics are stunning, and the action's cunning. Even the sound is big league stuff. Missing out on Bio-Hazard will be a major disaster."

Contra Force (NES): "Konami had an awesome video game formula that worked in Contra and Super C. For whatever reason, Contra Force strays from the path and pays the price. May the Force be without you."

Dr. Franken (Game Boy): "It's a good thing that this game is frustratingly fun, because you'll need multiple supplies of AAA batteries to rebuild Bitsy. Dr. Franken is a must have for your classic horror collection. So, go to your local graveyard and dig up a monsterously [sic] good time."

Home Alone (Super NES): "Although gameplay and challenge fall short in comparison with more demanding 16-bit titles like Super Mario World, fans of Bart vs. the Space Mutants for the NES will enjoy the easy-going style of Home Alone. If you're Home Alone you might find this one's a steal."

Kid Chameleon (Genesis): "One of the hottest Genesis action [games] to hit the Winter's Consumer Electronics Show, this Kid is sure to give you your money's worth. Hey, would we kid you?"

Kirby's Dream Land (Game Boy): "Kirby's Dream Land will make your Game Boy dreams come true with great graphics, a fresh gameplay concept and hours of fun. Suck it up and take on this adventure! It'll blow you away."

Magic Sword (Super NES): "If you've got a yen for a good dose of arcade-style hack 'n slash, Magic Sword's the ticket. Grab your sword and get ready to make some magic."

Run Saber (Super NES): "Strider fans will want this clone for their trophy shelf, even though Run Saber's four short levels mean even intermediate gamers will slash through it in no time at all. This RUN is no marathon, but it makes a great sprint."

Streets of Rage (Game Gear): "Streets of Rage is nonstop finger-pumping action -- definitely the hottest street brawl for the Game Gear to date. Sharp graphics, smooth animation and intense challenge guarantee this cart will be all the Rage!"

Switchblade II (Lynx): "If you can't live without great graphics and music, then Switchblade II doesn't cut it. But if you just need to cut loose, grab this addicting, but not intense, game. Take a stab at Switchblade II."

Well, that was dumb. But if you want to see more videos like the one above, please make sure and subscribe to our fledgling YouTube channel. We're posting reviews, essays, playthroughs and contents every week, and it sure would be nice if you joined the conversation.
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